03/11/2018. That's the day I quit drinking beer for this final time.
Haven't wanted to think much about it since then, and still don't, as I write this today, 08/25/2020.
For a few years, I was carefully tracking the instances of my binges on beer and that is the last day. Started on 03/10/2018 and passed out drunk from my last beer on 03/11/2018
Would be nice to think of how much money I've saved. But I haven't. Everything else just costs more now and a hell of a lot more than my meager pittance has increased.
All because I wanted to be Thomas Ray. "Why?" the doctor at the VA psychiatric hospital asked me all those years ago, and a million-bazillion pages later in my personal blog.
For some reason, I was certain I HAD TO convince people they needed to be aware of the content of my blog.
Young people DO NOT care, especially. Those people younger than I.
All I remind them of is that lingering fear in subconscious, under-developed brain, the certainty they will too become old someday. So their psychological-denial refuses to accept the possibly I'm right.
*I* had no positive role-models when I was a child.
All I had was negative role-models, until I left home and went on active-duty United States Navy.
Homer Burgess, married to Thedia's mother, was always, as best I can recall, bitching about how hard he used to have to work, her entire family, seemed to me, too dim-witted to ever be anything more than menial-laborers.
The closest I had to a positive role-model when I was a child was Thedia's second husband, with his active-duty United States Marine Corps service, which I have many memories of. But then she went and ruined that.
Her third husband was the only one to lay hands on me as a child, giving me a spanking one night as he raged at me after we got back to the trailer-park in DeQueen, because I had caused a childish ruckus embarrassing to them. Later, we lived at his parent's house and he killed himself with electricity. The dim-wit yokel was lying on his back on the wet ground under Thedia's Volkswagen car and he pulled the trigger on a metal-casing AC power-drill and poof! End of that yokel. I was oblivious to it all, sitting in the house, only the two of us there during that time, as I watched cartoons on tv for a few hours.
Her fourth husband was almost a positive role-model. But he was a pathetic drunkard. Always driving around with a bottle of Dr. Pepper with whiskey mixed in it. I never saw him actually beating up Thedia but I sure saw her face the next day after he beat the crap out of her a few times. There has never been once single moment in my life that I have ever had thoughts of violence against Thedia. I never knew what could have got that guy so riled up at her. Around me, he was calm and laid-back and I largely ignored him, as I always had something to tinker with somewhere to keep myself occupied. He was formerly a radio-operator in the US Army, I was told, and was seriously injured in combat in Vietnam. I've discovered some compelling details that I've associated with him and the first flight of the space-shuttle Endeavour in 1992. His HAM radio hobby is probably the reason for his interest, shared with me, in electronics. One time, when they were broken up, he gave me a radio-controlled sports-car. Another time, Thedia told me the transistor-amplified kit was from him. He never said anything to me about it and opening the box and happily assembling it, I guiltily felt as though I was stealing it from him. As best I recall, I had already developed in interest in model-rockets before she met him. Positive about Randy Romine was he, supposedly, owned a gas-station in downtown De Queen, Arkansas. There's a car-wash there now, but back then it was across from the court-house and the post-office. I was told he owned it and that may have been true. Could be that was set to inherit it from his father, I guess. There was Romine Oil Company, which I think is still active, and was run by his brother. As far as I knew, those were started by their father, Ronnie Romine, who was in ill-health and died when I still lived with them. He was another in a long line of step-flatters I had to endure, people talking all that "family" crap and I knew their days were numbered because Thedia was involved with one of the relatives.
I was furious when she brought home for us to meet that yokel who became - that I know of - her fifth husband. I was only 14 years old at the time. Short, pot-bellied, comical hair-cut, big moustache, and GEE FREAKING WHIZ a fourth-grade education, Folks! Thedia really picked a winner there.
They lasted the longest, though. I came back from a very long deployment in the raging war Persian Gulf and was told she and he split up while I was gone overseas. Thedia strikes again.
My life had become mostly about You're Everything I Don't Want To Be.
I had actually come to like living in the outskirts of Ashdown, there on Hicks Road. I finally found my own little measure of happiness in the woods out there. The only reason I ever went back there on leave from US Navy, some place I could find privacy, almost non-existent in the fleet, where, after a few years, I found myself surrounded in a cramped, low-ceiling workplace I had to go to everyday and surrounded by a lot of people I didn't like very much.
The young and younger don't want to learn anything from older people.
Old-people, for the young, are nothing more than a source of flattery so desperately craved by the youngster.
So, the point of me trying to communicate any sort of message to people, they can use, doesn't seem to have much point.
Conspiracy or Synchronization, my latest theory that frames my perception of the real world out there.
I can't prove the thoughts in the minds of other people. I can prove only to myself the thoughts in my conscious mind.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091763/quotes?ref_=tt_ql_trv_4
IMDb
Platoon (1986)
Quotes
Bunny: [Merle Haggard's "Okie from Muskogee" is playing on the radio] That's a bad jam, man.
Junior: Redneck noise, dude, that's all it is. Make about as much sense as you do. All them chumps be talkin' about how they losin' they ho, and ain't got no bread for beer.
DSC02537.jpg, me, Kerry Burgess
Oblivion (2013)
Jack Harper: Is it possible to miss a place you've never been? To mourn a time you never lived?
10800_DSC00953 star trek first contact .jpg, illustrations by me, Kerry Burgess
10800_DSC00954 star trek first contact .jpg, illustrations by me, Kerry Burgess
10800_DSC00955 star trek first contact .jpg, illustrations by me, Kerry Burgess
http://www.chakoteya.net/movies/movie8.html
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
(from internet transcript)
{First scenes}
[Picard's quarters]
(Picard is having a dream about his memories from end of "Best of Both Worlds, Part I.")
BORG QUEEN: Locutus.
PICARD: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.
(he is awakened by a comm bleep just as he is starting to be assimilated)
PICARD: Authorisation Picard four seven alpha tango. ...Admiral?
HAYES (on viewer): Did I catch you at a bad time Jean-Luc?
PICARD: No, of course not.
HAYES (on viewer): I've just received a disturbing report from Deep Space 5. Our colony on Ivor Prime was destroyed this morning. Long-range sensors have picked up...
PICARD: Yes, I know. ...The Borg.
Captains log, stardate 50893.5. The moment I have dreaded for nearly six years has finally arrived. The Borg, our most lethal enemy have begun an invasion of the Federation, and this time there may be no stopping them.
From 11/18/1996 ( premiere US film "Star Trek: First Contact" ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 7783 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 2/23/1987 ( USA congress: A bill to amend the National Trails System Act to designate the Trail of Tears as a National Historic Trail ) is 7783 days
From 11/18/1996 ( premiere US film "Star Trek: First Contact" ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 7783 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 2/23/1987 ( the supernova 1987A first becomes visible to Earth ) is 7783 days
From 10/1/1990 ( premiere US TV series episode "Star Trek: The Next Generation"::"Family" ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 10023 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 4/12/1993 ( premiere US TV series episode "Road to Avonlea"::"Evelyn" ) is 10023 days
From 11/10/1967 ( premiere US TV series episode "Star Trek"::"Metamorphosis" ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 18384 days
18384 = 9192 + 9192
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 1/2/1991 ( premiere US TV series episode "Growing Pains"::"How Could I Leave Her Behind?" ) is 9192 days
From 4/30/1954 ( premiere US TV series episode "Stories of the Century"::"Chief Crazy Horse" ) To 9/6/2006 ( referenced by me, Kerry Burgess ) is 19122 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 19122 days
From 9/10/1938 ( Germany prohibits all foreign air traffic in its airspace except along specific air corridors ) To 1/17/1991 ( the date of record of my United States Navy Medal of Honor as Kerry Wayne Burgess chief warrant officer United States Marine Corps circa 1991 officially the United States Apache attack helicopter pilot ) is 19122 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 19122 days
From 11/11/1956 ( premiere US TV series "Air Power"::series premiere episode "The Day North America Is Attacked" ) To 3/20/2009 ( premiere US TV series episode "Battlestar Galactica"::series finale episode "Daybreak" ) is 19122 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 19122 days
From 11/11/1956 ( premiere US TV series "Air Power"::series premiere episode "The Day North America Is Attacked" ) To 3/20/2009 ( premiere US film "Knowing" ) is 19122 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 19122 days
From 6/29/1995 ( the Mir space station docking of the United States space shuttle Atlantis orbiter vehicle mission STS-71 includes me Kerry Wayne Burgess the United States Marine Corps officer and United States STS-71 pilot astronaut and my 3rd official United States of America National Aeronautics Space Administration orbital flight of 4 overall ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 8291 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 7/15/1988 ( premiere US film "Die Hard" ) is 8291 days
From 12/2/1960 ( premiere US TV series episode "The Twilight Zone"::"The Lateness of the Hour" ) To 4/10/2013 ( premiere US film "Oblivion" ) is 19122 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/11/2018 ( ) is 19122 days
http://www.chakoteya.net/movies/movie8.html
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
(from internet transcript)
[Montana settlement]
LILY: Come on.
Doctor Zefram COCHRANE: Good night Eddie. [ punches arm of man drinking from bottle at bar-room table ] ...Go home.
LILY: You're gonna regret this tomorrow.
COCHRANE: One of the things you should have learned about me by now is that I don't have regrets. ...Come on, Lily, one more round.
LILY: Z, you've had enough. I'm not going up in that thing with a drunken pilot.
COCHRANE: Well I sure as hell am not going up there sober.
from my private journal, as me, Kerry Burgess, typed after being released from the USA Veterans Affairs psychiatric hospital and while sitting in a grungy two-computer room in a homeless shelter on the waterfront in downtown Seattle:
From: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Sunday, May 21, 2006 11:04 AM
To: Kerry Burgess
Subject: Re: Journal May 21, 2006
Kerry Burgess wrote:
I think it was my first thought after waking up this morning that I used to date Julia Roberts a long time ago.
I also have these unexplained thoughts that I was a fighter pilot in the U.S. military, although I'm not sure which service, but I may have been in two different branches over time. I am also confused about thoughts that I may have been a helicopter pilot. What's next? A space shuttle pilot? Seems like a lot for someone that is only 40. And, while I am not sure when this divergence happened, I am reasonably certain it was before I turned 33. So I must have been a pretty busy guy. Especially because I have thoughts that I was some kind of mathmetician too. I have these thoughts too that I was captured by enemy forces at some point and tortured while in captivity.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0710944/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
IMDb
Stories of the Century (1954– )
Chief Crazy Horse
Episode aired 30 April 1954
Season 1 Episode 15
Release Date: 30 April 1954 (USA)
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpt from my private journal: 9/6/2006 9:59 PM
The only time I felt like crying over the past few months was one time when I realized I might have let Julia Roberts get away without marrying her.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0687193/?ref_=ttrel_rel_tt
IMDb
Avonlea (1990–1996)
Evelyn
Episode aired 12 April 1993
Season 4 Episode 4
Release Date: 12 April 1993 (USA)
oblivion-2013_00h-45m-34s.jpg
oblivion-2013_00h-45m-41s.jpg
oblivion-2013_00h-45m-47s.jpg
oblivion-2013_00h-45m-49s.jpg
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0593271/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
IMDb
Growing Pains (1985–1992)
How Could I Leave Her Behind?
Episode aired 2 January 1991
Season 6 Episode 14
Release Date: 2 January 1991 (USA)
oblivion-2013 img1 .jpg, from internet
Battlestar Galactica
Daybreak (2) (131 min) [ Episode 21 Season 4 - series finale - Friday 20 March 2009 ]
What are they doing?
Each of them knows part of the secret to resurrection. They're gonna interact with the dataflow in the water. And I don't know. It's a lotta complicated technical talk about sharing the information among the five of them and then transferring it over to the colony somehow.
Now, for a moment, we're going to know everything there is to know about one another.
Looking forward to that.
There are certain things that That we've all done. Certain things that people would be shocked to learn about.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2209764/quotes
IMDb
Transcendence (2014)
Quotes
Evelyn: Where are you going?
oblivion-2013_01h-07m-30s.jpg
oblivion-2013_01h-07m-36s.jpg
Oblivion (2013)
Malcolm Beech: And the Tet set crew ships down. Door is opened... And out you came. Astronaut Jack Harper.
From 7/31/1968 ( premiere US film "Hang Em High" ) To 4/10/2013 ( ) is 16324 days
16324 = 8162 + 8162
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/8/1988 ( as Kerry Burgess my official United States Navy documents includes: Terrier MK 152 Guided-missiles Fire Control Computer Complex Operator - Missile Plot, USS Wainwright CG-28, United States Navy ) is 8162 days
From 1/5/1955 ( premiere US TV series "Norby" ) To 4/10/2013 ( ) is 21280 days
21280 = 10640 + 10640
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 12/20/1994 ( from the thoughts in my conscious mind, coinciding with United States of America Veterans Affairs hospital psychiatric doctor medical drugs: in non-aviator related duties boots on the ground in Bosnia as Kerry Wayne Burgess the United States Marine Corps captain this day is my United States Navy Cross medal date of record ) is 10640 days
From 12/19/1953 ( Robert Andrews Millikan dead ) To 4/10/2013 ( ) is 21662 days
21662 = 10831 + 10831
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 6/29/1995 ( the Mir space station docking of the United States space shuttle Atlantis orbiter vehicle mission STS-71 includes me Kerry Wayne Burgess the United States Marine Corps officer and United States STS-71 pilot astronaut and my 3rd official United States of America National Aeronautics Space Administration orbital flight of 4 overall ) is 10831 days
Other posts by me, Kerry Burgess
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1483013/releaseinfo
IMDb
Oblivion (2013)
Release Info
USA 10 April 2013 (Los Angeles, California) (premiere)
USA 19 April 2013
Full Cast & Crew
Tom Cruise ... Jack
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1308524/?ref_=ttep_ep1
IMDb
Norby (1955– )
The Promotion
Episode aired 5 January 1955
Season 1 Episode 1
Release Date: 5 January 1955 (USA)
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpt from my private journal: 2006
AND, March 24, 1990, is that date I remember writing about earlier. It was when I got out of the Navy and went to work for Kettermans in Greenville.
IMDb
Hang 'Em High (1968)
Quotes
Marshal Dave Bliss: Some people call this hell, but you're still in Oklahoma Territory... Save your breath. I don't know who hung you or why, but if you're innocent, the judge will set you free. And if you're not, we'll have to take the trouble to hanging you again.
https://twitter.com/Kerry_W_Burgess/status/1298440052557586433
Astro_Spook
@Kerry_W_Burgess
Number 878: The Farthest Man From Home
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norby,_the_Mixed-Up_Robot
Norby, the Mixed-Up Robot
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
7:00 PM Aug 25, 2020
http://www.tv.com/shows/the-twilight-zone/the-lateness-of-the-hour-12628/
tv.com
The Twilight Zone Season 2 Episode 8
The Lateness of the Hour
Aired Dec 02, 1960
AIRED: 12/2/60
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0448011/quotes
IMDb
Knowing (2009)
Quotes
John Koestler: I found evidence of a series of super-flares from a star in the outer-Pleiades's region.
Phil Bergman: Right. Ratings were off the chart.
John Koestler: We were both wrong. The numbers are a warning, but not just to me or any random group. They're a warning to everyone.
Phil Bergman: Okay. You're officially scaring the shit out of me right now.
John Koestler: The super-flare, in our own solar system. A 100 microtesla wave of radiation that would destroy our ozone layer, killing every living organism on the planet.
Phil Bergman: We have to let everyone know. We have to call the NOAA.
John Koestler: They already know. The announcement will come anytime now. I thought there was some purpose to all this. Why did I get this prediction if there's nothing I can do about it?
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d100:SN00578:@@@L&summ2=m&
The Library of Congress Thomas
The Library of Congress > THOMAS Home > Bills, Resolutions > Search Results
Bill Summary & Status
100th Congress (1987 - 1988)
S.578
Latest Title: A bill to amend the National Trails System Act to designate the Trail of Tears as a National Historic Trail.
Sponsor: Sen Ford, Wendell H. [KY] (introduced 2/23/1987) Cosponsors (1)
Related Bills:H.R.3303
Latest Major Action: 12/16/1987 Became Public Law No: 100-192.
http://www.chakoteya.net/NextGen/178.htm
Star Trek: The Next Generation - Family - television series Season 4 Episode 2 - Air Date: 10/01/1990
(from internet transcript)
ROBERT: The gallant Captain out of control. Mind if I ask you a question? What the devil happened to you up there?
PICARD: Is this brotherly concern?
ROBERT: No. Curiosity. What did they do to you?
PICARD: You know what happened.
ROBERT: Not precisely. I gather you were hurt. Humiliated. I always thought you needed a little humiliation. Or was it humility? Either would do. (Jean-Luc storms out of the house)
[Garden]
ROBERT: Why do you walk away? That isn't your style.
PICARD: I'm tired of fighting with you, Robert.
ROBERT: Tired?
PICARD: That's right.
ROBERT: Yes. Tired of the Enterprise too? The great Captain Picard of Starfleet falls to Earth, ready to plunge into the water with Louis. That isn't the brother that I remember. Still, I suppose it must have seemed like the ideal situation, hmm? Local boy makes good. Returns home after twenty years to a hero's welcome.
PICARD: I'm not a hero.
ROBERT: Of course you are. Admit it. You'd never settle for less than that and you never will.
PICARD: That's not true.
ROBERT: Cancel the parade? In your favour?
PICARD: No! I never sought that rubbish.
ROBERT: Never sought? Never sought president of the school, valedictorian, athletic hero with your arms raised in victory?
PICARD: Valedictorian? Arms raised in victory? Were you so jealous?
ROBERT: Yes, damn it. I was always so jealous, I had a right to be.
PICARD: Right?
ROBERT: I was always your brother, watching you receive the cheers, watching you break every rule our father made and get away with it.
PICARD: Why didn't you break a few rules?
ROBERT: Because I was the elder brother, the responsible one. It was my job to look after you.
PICARD: Look after me? You? You were a bully.
ROBERT: Sometimes. Maybe. Sometimes I even enjoyed bullying you.
PICARD: All right. Try it now.
ROBERT: Did you come back, Jean-Luc? Did you come back because you wanted me to look after you again?
PICARD: Damn you!
(And he punches his brother, sending him flying over some barrels into the vineyard proper. There they fight in the muddy irrigation ditches, through the vines until they finally fall back laughing)
PICARD: You were asking for it, you know.
ROBERT: Yes, but you needed it. You have been terribly hard on yourself.
PICARD: You don't know, Robert. You don't know. They took everything I was. They used me to kill and to destroy, and I couldn't stop them. I should have been able to stop them! I tried. I tried so hard, but I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't good enough. I should have been able to stop them. I should! I should!
ROBERT: So, my brother is a human being after all. This is going to be with you a long time, Jean-Luc. A long time.
- posted by me, Kerry Burgess 1:31 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Wednesday 08/26/2020
