So far, not so good.
They keep leaving me clues that I find so impossible to ignore.
I miss people that I do not have any conscious memory of. Am I doing that on purpose in my mind? Does not that make sense? To be the person who is the legal relative of the sovereign monarch of the United Kingdom? Even Kerry Wayne Burgess was the lawful biological relative of the sovereign monarch of the United Kingdom. That was established before the attempt was even made to bring him into the world. And he was brought into the world for a very important purpose.
Also, as far as my last stated attempt goes to stop recording in my public or private journal, the thought occurred to me that detail is no great secret anyway. Then I thought to myself about how I can still control whether I reveal what I think is going to happen on that specific date though and that could make a difference. I believe that observation is the basis for the paradox I have been anticipating for a while that I will become aware of. One aspect of the paradox, considering that I do indeed invent the capability for reproducible mechanisms for travel through time, is that I give the control of that power to something like a board of directors that exist sometime distant in the future. They have control over a lot of the time traveling I do, thus there is a paradox because how could they send me anywhere if I did not first create time travel. In the past hour or so, I have gained the new perception that I have in the past few hours introduced a change. I feel depressed about that and this new observation I make is amplified by that new perception. I started feeling depressed because in the past half-day or so, I might have changed what I was predicting would happen, as I refered to as my date to exit the present time and jump back to the past. I am not certain, perhaps because of a lingering sense of wishful thinking produced by the miserable knowledge that I am still stuck here for the foreseeable future, if that new perception should be taken literally, or if that new perception represents literally that I have again altered the plans that would determine, all completely out of my personal control, the date I get to jump out of this hellhole and move on with my life, although even after I move on I still expect to work in this activity associated with time travel. I just want to finish this current task and get the hell out of this place.
So, I am still going to jump back to the past, and that has already happened, but I just do not have any real idea about when precisely that is going to happen. I guess that I can be expected to record further thoughts on that subject later in my journal. Otherwise, what is the point to all this activity.
2006 film "The Queen" DVD video:
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: One in four, you said, wanted to get rid of me?
Tony: For about half an hour. But then you came down to London and all that went away.
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: I've never been hated like that before.
Tony: And that must have been difficult.
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: Yes. Very. Nowadays, people want glamour and tears, the grand performance. I'm not very good at that. Never have been. I prefer to keep my feelings to myself. And foolishly, I believed that was what the people wanted from their Queen. Not to make a fuss, nor wear one's heart on one's sleeve. Duty first, self second. That's how I was brought up.
1982 film "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" DVD video:
Linda Barrett: He's no high school boy.
1996 film "Star Trek: First Contact" DVD video:
Starfleet Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge: You know, I wish I had a picture of this.
Dr. Zefram Cochrane: What?
Starfleet Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge: Well, you see, in the future, this whole area becomes a historical monument. You're standing almost on the exact spot where your statue's going to be.
Dr. Zefram Cochrane: Statue?
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Fri, June 30, 2006 7:13:43 PM
Subject: Re: Journal June 30, 2006
Kerry Burgess wrote:
Another lousy day of excrutiating seconds wasting away in this homeless shelter, the sunshine illuminates the craziness outside, the air I breathe reminding me I am a captive of cowards, a political prisoner of cowards.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 30 June 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Fri, June 30, 2006 7:13:43 PM
Subject: Re: Journal June 30, 2006
It's bad enough I have to live with these stinking losers, some worthless piece of shit is urinating in the elevators. I wake up every day wanting to kill the motherfucker that jarred me out of my sleep, making some unseen noise that tells me something is wrong. I have tense dreams of a military life I can't remember. I miss people I don't even know because I can't remember them. Then I want to kill the fat punk motherfucker screwing around with my food. Then I go downstairs and have to wash my clothes in those nasty ass washing machines. It's bad enough they wash the goddamned mops in them, but now I pull out all kinds of crap out of the one I am using, including dead goddamned bugs. It's as though I am living in some Night Of The Living Dead movie.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 30 June 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Thu, April 6, 2006 2:45:44 PM
Subject: Re: Imaginary friend
I was disappointed I got only an hour of my imaginary girlfriend this morning. The previous 3 days of 4 hours was spoiling me.
Damn I am one bored loser homeless guy.
I literally almost expect someone to stab me in the back with a knife when someone walks behind me on the street. I don't know why that has started bothering me. I feel like my thought processes are still pretty normal, but I do think about a lot of stuff, got nothing else to do.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 6 April 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Mon, June 12, 2006 1:23:57 PM
Subject: Re: Journal June 12, 2006
Kerry Burgess wrote:
Early this morning, I suffered through about the first half-hour of Fast Times At Ridgemont High until I got bored and changed it.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 June 2006 excerpt ends]
From 10/14/1972 ( the United States Navy F-14 Tomcat fighter jet aircraft publicly displayed and as United States Navy Commander Thomas Reagan I am the first United States Navy F-14 Tomcat Commander Air Group ) To 2/27/1996 ( Modest Mouse "This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About" featuring "Space Travel Is Boring" ) is 8536 days
8536 = 4268 + 4268
From 3/3/1959 ( my birth date US ) To 11/8/1970 ( my first ascent to Mount Everest summit ) is 4268 days
From 4/12/1981 ( I was the commander aboard the United States STS-1 Columbia spacecraft as United States Navy Fleet Admiral Thomas Reagan ) To 2/27/1996 ( Modest Mouse "This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About" featuring "Space Travel Is Boring" ) is 5434 days
From 3/4/1959 ( my birth date UK ) To 1/18/1974 ( my first landing on planet Venus and my documented and lawful exclusive claim to the territory of planet Venus ) is 5434 days
From 6/18/1983 ( I was the commander aboard the United States STS-7 Challenger spacecraft as United States Navy Fleet Admiral Thomas Reagan ) To 2/27/1996 ( Modest Mouse "This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About" featuring "Space Travel Is Boring" ) is 4637 days
From 7/16/1963 ( my wife ) To 3/26/1976 ( my paternal grandmother Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom while at Royal Signals and Radar Establishment Malvern sends the first royal e-mail ) is 4637 days
http://www.allmusic.com/album/r261598
allmusic
This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About
Modest Mouse
Release Date
Feb 27, 1996
Tracks
16 Space Travel Is Boring
http://www.amazon.com/Drive-Someone-Nothing-Think-About/dp/B003LWSDRQ
This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About
Modest Mouse
16. Space Travel Is Boring
Product Details
Original Release Date: February 27, 1996
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/modestmouse/spacetravelisboring.html
MODEST MOUSE LYRICS
"Space Travel Is Boring"
Won herself a pass to some far off moon
It was second class but what's to lose
And looking out her window she could more than assume
That you can't see air or time
She's the only rocketeer in the whole damn place
They gave her a mirror so she could talk to a face
She still got plenty lonely but that's just the case
With time, time, time
Started hearing voices sometime in June
She knew she could go crazy but didn't think that soon
Now she doesn't feel lonely but she'd just as soon
Try, try, try try
Man shot to the moon
I read a paperback and want to come home soon
I'm shot to the moon
Been there a half an hour, I want to come home soon
http://www.online-literature.com/bible/Revelation
Literature Network>The Holy Bible>Revelation
Revelation
Revelations
7:13 And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? 7:14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
7:15 Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.
7:16 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.
7:17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.
8:1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.
