"He was surrounded by automatons who took his blood at gunpoint. He was afraid for his life, although he still felt fine and had begun to believe he wasn't going to catch It, whatever It was."
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/10/09 11:17 PM
I think I have written more than once about the sense in my mind after I started being treated at the VA in the summer of 2005. I guess it could have started before but I tend to associate a specific sense in my mind with that period in the VA. I was pondering over it in great detail a few days or weeks ago before I watched "Mission To Mars" on television recently and I write of it now in that context of time because of certain details that I have noted for that film "Mission To Mars." As I was pondering again in great detail a few weeks ago I guess it was I was thinking about how after I started treatment at the VA I was seeing something when I closed my eyes that I thought of as the circuit patterns on printed electronic circuit boards. I mentioned it to my doctor at the VA but I cannot remember if I mentioned specifically what I was seeing. I remember him saying something but it was not anything specific that I can recall. I think it was just some off-hand remark similar to when I told the nurse that I wanted to take the medication in the different tablet form because the one type was a bitter pill and she said something about how she was sure it was. I cannot remember if I said specifically that it was a bitter pill to swallow but I think I used all those words to describe my distaste with that particular tablet. So anyway, when I was thinking about it again a few weeks ago I was pondering over what seemed to almost be images that were flashing before my closed eyes and it was similar to the green PCB's but there was some other color too that I cannot describe. I'll probably think of it later. So as I was thinking about it again recently I was thinking of how I would describe what I was seeing and I would describe it as though there was a printed circuit board that filled my vision but that board was covered by some kind of material that I would describe as a piece of black construction paper and it seemed that my vision with my eyes closed was that rectangular sheet of black construction paper. When I was in treatment at the VA I started seeing images in my mind that seemed to be of a narrow strip of that construction paper that was being peeled away and then I could that beneath that sheet of paper was the printed circuit board. The strip that was peeled away was very narrow and I would estimate that if my vision with closed eyes was the size of a regular sheet of paper then that strip that was peeled away in an uneven strip that was not very jagged but yet not parallel or even in any manner in its course through the sheet of paper was probably the width of a pencil which is a measurement I just now thought of.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 10 May 2009 excerpt ends]
