"returning to the surface"

070407-N-1003P-002 DJIBOUTI, Africa (April 7, 2007) - Navy Lt. Tahmika Jackson, assistant Staff Judge Advocate, discusses the Soldiers Third Rule to 52 members of the Rapid Action Regiment and Presidential Republican Guard during human rights training. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Mary Popejoy (RELEASED)

070510-N-9640K-046 VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (May 10, 2007) - Command Master Chief (CMDCM) Jon Port, Precommissioning Unit George H. W. Bush (CVN 77), congratulates his wife, Linda Port, for winning the Heroes at Home: 2007 Military Spouse Award. The award, given by local sponsors, recognizes spouses for their community involvement, support during deployment and volunteer work. One winner was chosen from more than 200 nominees and 15 finalists. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Marissa Kaylor (RELEASED)

Photo of an F-14 cockpit and panel.
PHOTOGRAPHER / CREDIT: NASA

DATE: 1980

US Navy (USN) Seaman (SN) Marcus Hardoman stands watch on the bridge of the USN Oliver Hazard PERRY Class Guided Missile Frigate USS REUBAN JAMES (FFG 57)

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Nice talking with you in the morning

Fri, 2/3/06 6:56 PM

http://q13.trb.com/news/kcpq-bio-lilyj,0,3625909.htmlstory?coll=kcpq-newsstaff-1

I think I am in love with Lily Jang. It seems crazy to even write that, with all things considered, but, well, what isn't crazy right now?



JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Captain's sleep journal. Stardate 8456734.7654.908756.123.45328

Sun, 2/5/06 9:21 AM

I'm getting a better sense now of when they try to perform a post-hypnotic suggestion on me. That probably don't expect me to remember the suggestions though, for several reasons. But I am wondering today if I remeber the ones that I am not going to follow, the suggestions that I will resist. As for this morning's suggestion, all I can say is that I know what I like. Later I started thinking about this in terms of a Visual Basic.Net program. The post-hypnotic suggestion seems to be a set of instructions that are part of an event routine, in this case, something like Sleep_WakeUp, or something. And then I remember something that happened a long time ago at Microsoft, when we were still in the Bellevue office. A coworker was designing a teeshirt for our group in Premier and the design consisted of a person sleeping in bed and a dog sleeping next to the bed and they both had those dialog balloons above them like in a cartoon. He asked me to create the content of the dialog balloons. Now I am remembering that time, I remember it clearly, when I was in the Charlotte lab with a customer, it was September 2001, right around the time Star Trek: Enterprise debuted. He asked me something about processor affinity and I said that I thought it was possible, but on further research, I told him I must have dreamed it. He looked like that was funny.



ARCHIVE: lost contacts

Mon, 2/6/06 1:10 PM

Lt. Walraven

Glad to see your around. I was beginning to wonder. When your sister and mother asked me to find you I ran a check on your Drivers Lic and found that you renewed them 2004 in Kent Washington but I was having problems locating a phone number. Anyway I'll give you the phone numbers. Your moms cell 1-nnn-nnn-5958, Kayli's cell number is 1-nnn-nnn-5634, your sisters Home number nnn-nnn-1783 if a guy answers it will be her boyfriend Shawn ( he seems to be a good guy ). Now, I may be divorced from your sister but I would love to here from you my cell number is nnn-nnn-1783 and work number nnn-nnn-nnn e-mail lt---@---.net. Also you might want to know your going to be a Great Uncle! Yes Kayli is about a month along. I don't know about this grandpa stuff yet.

P.S. give your mom and sister a call before I have to find you and kick your butt.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Feb 7, 2006

As I began to suspect a few hours ago, this is turning into another day of wasted optimism.



JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Sleep journal - 2/9/06

Only remember a brief part of my dreams last night. It feels like there was more dreaming but I can only remember what seems like the last part. This felt like a normal dream and not one that was what I consider "suggested" or "manipulated." This recent dream was of me sitting in a room with three other guys. We were all wearing U.S. Navy uniforms and it seemed to be some kind of waiting room. I was enroute to a new assignment, a ship somewhere. One of the guys seemed to be a CPO, another was a LT. The third guy was a buddy of mine from the Wainwright, except that the uniform he was wearing was only similar to a U.S. Navy uniform but really wasn't. I walked out of the room with someone that I don't think was one of the first group. I was walking down some stairs.

My sleep pattern has changed over the past few days since I haven't experienced one of the foreign dreams. I am sleeping later. For the first time in a long time, I didn't get up to watch the 5 a.m. news, which is a bummer, but in all reality is a silly thing to feel bad about anyway.

Today I am thinking more about how they broke my employment contract to avoid paying the sign-on bonus they promised me. I trusted Rich would make good on that promise when he asked me what it would take to make me come to work for them. I trusted him enough to defer it to a few months later. I should have seen it coming when they started having problems making payroll. I often did not when I would get paid or even if I would get paid. I remember being outspoken about not getting enough work. I often received compliments from our customers for the work I was doing for them and I wanted more work.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=foreign

foreign

Situated in an abnormal or improper place in the body and typically introduced from outside: a foreign object in the eye

relating to or originating in or characteristic of another place

not contained in or deriving from the essential nature of something

not belonging to that in which it is contained; introduced from an outside source

And they also started making up some story about me taking work away from their business, something about me working on my own while on their time. I didn't really catch on to that until later, but I started to see they had been planning this out for a while. Every single hour I billed was in their company's name. I suspected they had cheap access to a lawyer and were gambling they could get away with not paying me the 20K plus the other stuff. I spent 4K to get basically nowhere, or to shoot myself in the foot for just making a formal complaint. I suspect for every thousand dollars I was spending on a lawyer, they only had to spend a hundred, or maybe even less.



JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sleep journal - 2/10/06

Can't remember a single detail about my dreams last night. For the past few hours, I have been feeling drowsy, which seems unusal because I slept til almost 9 this morning. I wonder if they programmed me to start feeling sleepy earlier tonight because they are going to present some new message to me in my sleep tonight.

These foreign dreams are impossible to ignore. It is almost like watching something on tv. I remember I started feeling something unusal about my dreams back when I lived at Oakwood Apts in Bellevue. That would have been late 1999 I think. I was having vivid dreams about a friend of mine. I would wake up calling out her name. I woke up feeling certain she was there in the room with me. I was being told things. In early 2004 when I decided to leave Microsoft, I wonder if I was following instructions that had been given to me in my sleep. It reminds me of something I read the other day about some preamble Thomas Jefferson had written, something to do with establishing religious freedom, with the similarity being something to do with free will, as in you really don't know why you do the things you do. Anyway, the foreign dreams were especially intense when I was living recently in that apt. in Kent. I remember waking up and I had my arm reaching up the wall towards the ceiling. I had the strongest feeling that I had been instructed to do that in my sleep. Sometimes, things....ideas, just seem to come so easily to me. It is all so much easier right now. But I know it is going to end sometime soon. I don't know what it is, but I think it is some kind of "dimming," like a dimmer switch on a light.


JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Sleep journal 2/11/06

Nothing spectacular about my dreams last night. I remember two different segments. One had some basic symbolism in it that seemed uninterestingly relevant. The other was more complex and had symbolic elements in it as well. I guess they decided to not screw with my mind as I slept because they read my journal last night that I was expecting it.

After I wrote the first paragraph, I then started typing in the date on the subject line and something struck suddenly about the date. I think it was part of a dream last night that I have forgotten.

I have also been wondering, thinking back to that dream manipulation in 1999, whether my dreams are literal interpretations of what they are suggesting or whether my own mental mechanisms are producing something different from what they want. In other words, when I was waking up calling out my friends name, was it because that is what the dream terrorists wanted me to do? Or were they making indirect suggestions such as "you should talk more to someone you work with that you have a strong connection with." I wonder if they were trying to manipulate me to hooking up with someone I had no interest in and I was interpreting it to represent someone I was close to.

As crazy as this dream terrorism sounds, I have absolutely no doubt it has been happening.



JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sleep journal 2/14/06

Funny how I don't remember any dreams last night or this morning. I slept about 3 or 4 hours late in the evening and then a few hours later this morning. I don't remember anything. And then there is the way the few foreign dreams I've had lately seemed to be quieter, as if the manipulators were almost whispering or they were transmitting with a lower power setting. I do remember waking up at one point where it sounded like someone was telling Donald Pleasance that he had a taxi waiting for him downstairs to take him to the airport. Pleasance was the guy who was chasing that guy around in those Halloween movies. He also played a blind guy trying to escape from a WW2 German POW camp.

For the past couple of days I have been meaning to bring up again a dream that happened about two years ago that I believe was a foreign dream. I recorded it in my journal shortly after that but I have lost control of all my personal effects due to this situation. I remember waking up absolutely terrified. There was something terrifying about my digital alarm clock. It seemed that the numbers had stopped, that time itself had stopped. It was probably several minutes before I regained my senses. I don't know why I was so terrified.

But it also causes me to think more about that experience as well as others. I realized that I have never really been scared before. I have been in some tough spots that were troubling, but every time I felt in control, at least in control of what I could control. That experience with being terrified reminded me of another experience many years earlier when I learned to distinquish and recognize a basic emotion. I was standing on the pier next to the Wainwright shortly after we had returned from the PG. Everything had been going so right one day, and then the next, everything just started going so wrong. It seemed as soon as I touched home soil again, everything just started falling apart. I was standing there and for the first time in my life, at least that I was aware, I felt lonely. I had been alone a lot in my life to that point, but this was the first time I could really label the feeling. That lonely experience and that terrifing experience are similar in some ways but dissimilar in other ways. The loneliness I felt that day after returning home was just sort of a peak I guess, a new level of an emotion that I had felt many times in my life but never really understood. The terror feeling on the hand, was pretty new. The lonely experience just produced a scar, while the terror feeling, I don't know what the result of that experience is, maybe to reinforce my desire to maintain peace in my life, of which people have been trying to drive me away from, although why they want to provoke me I don't know.


JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: desire to enter such a state

Thu, 2/16/06 10:33 AM

http://www.odci.gov/csi/kent_csi/subjectII.htm

hypnosis, use of, Stud. Intel. V4:1-51-64 PDF

The concepts of suggestion and suggestibility as applied to hypnosis, introduced about 1880 by the Nancy school of hypnosis investigators, have been developed and refined in modern times. In a major monograph Hull10 concluded that hypnosis is primarily a state of heightened suggestibility and has the characteristics of habit in that it becomes increasingly easy for a subject to enter the state of hypnosis after he has once done it. Welch,26 in an ingenious application of the conditioning theory, pointed out that trance induction begins with suggestions which are almost certain to take effect and proceeds to more difficult ones. While the concept of suggestion does provide a bridge between the hypnotic and the normal waking state, it does not explain the peculiarity of the hypnotic process or the causes of the state of trance.

Several more recent approaches, which might be called motivational theories of hypnosis, hold that achievement of trance is related to the subject's desire to enter such a state.

The Subject Unaware. Hypnosis has reportedly been effected without the subject's awareness in three situations--in sleep, in patients undergoing psychiatric consultation, and spontaneously in persons observing another subject being hypnotized.

The older literature is replete with references to somnambulistic hypnosis induced by giving suggestions to sleeping subjects in a low but insistent voice. No case records are cited to support these statements, however; and they appear, like many others in hypnosis literature, to have been carried over from one textbook to another without critical evaluation. In a recent study Theodore X. Barber 1 found considerable similarity between subjects' compliance with suggestions given during sleep and their reactions to ordinary hypnotic techniques. Since Barber had asked them for permission to enter their rooms at night and talk to them in their sleep, however, it is reasonable to assume that most if not all of them perceived that trance induction was his purpose. They cannot therefore be regarded as truly naive sleeping subjects. Casual experimentation by the present writer has failed to demonstrate the feasibility of hypnotizing naive sleepers. The sample consisted of only four subjects, three of whom awakened to ask belligerently what was going on. The fourth just continued to sleep.
[...]
Prophylactic Hypnosis

Three suggestions have been made by Estabrooks 9 for what might be called defensive uses of hypnosis. He proposed that it might be used to make personnel hypnosis-proof on capture by the enemy, to induce in them amnesia for sensitive material in the event of capture, or to help them resist stress, particularly pain, in captivity.

As we have seen, there is little or no evidence that trance can be induced against a person's wishes. Proofing personnel against hypnosis attempts which they could successfully resist without this conditioning would seem a practice of doubtful utility. The hypnosis undertaken in order to suggest that they resist trance induction upon capture might in fact possibly precondition them to susceptibility. It might be better simply to warn them of the techniques of trance induction and inform them that they can prevent it.
[...]

Findings

In summary, it appears extremely doubtful that trance can be induced in resistant subjects. It may be possible to hypnotize a person without his being aware of it, but this would require a positive relationship between hypnotist and subject not likely to be found in the interrogation setting. Disregarding these difficulties, it is doubtful that proscribed behavior call be induced against the subject's wishes, though we must admit that crucial experiments to resolve this question have not yet been performed. The evidence also indicates that information obtained during hypnosis need not be accurate and may in fact contain untruths, despite hypnotic suggestions to the contrary.

Hypnosis as a prophylaxis against interrogation, whether to prevent hypnosis by captors, to condition against stress and pain, or to create amnesia for sensitive information, would function as an artificial repressive mechanism with the serious disadvantage of diminishing the captive's mastery of the situation. Finally, the hypnotic situation, rather than hypnosis itself, seems likely to be a more effective instrument in interrogation

27: Indexes & Archive of Studies in Intelligence

subjectII.htm, Search in: Entire Site

File size: 226K, Create Date: Sep-21-2005 15:02

http://www.odci.gov/kent_csi/subjectII.htm

[What an interesting tidbit of information: Kent. CSI. Subject 2. File unavailable. Search string: hypnosis.

The others have a pattern of v04i1a05p in the file name.]



JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Ironman Utah 2002

Fri, 4/21/06 11:13 AM

[I think this is the article I am thinking of. There was a photo that went with it that I am positive was of me. I was having a hard time breathing because the waves were slapping me in the face. I had just went underwater to feel where the bottom was, it was about a manageable 7 feet which helped in case I couldn't make it back, and the photo appears to be just when I was returning to the surface.]

http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/40822/

The Daily Herald

PROVO -- A 55-year-old California man died during the swimming portion of Ironman Utah at Utah Lake on Saturday.

Dangerous weather soon forced the cancellation of the swimming competition and led to reduced distances in the cycling and running segments of the triathlon.