JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/27/07 4:10 AM
What a great dream. Phoebe saw me drive back to where she was waiting for a bus and she didn't just walk up to me; she ran up to me. She didn't want me to give her a ride though to where she was going and she told me something about how this would all be over soon. I was stomping on the brake of my 1967 blue Chevrolet to try to get it to stop, but it would not. I think that was when she actually said it would all stop soon. I explained that I have this happen to me in dreams sometimes, where I can't get my vehicle to stop no matter how hard I stand on the brakes and I think she smiled. Probably because I was describing something that happens to me in dreams while I was dreaming. There is another aspect to this part of our conversation that I can't articulate. And thinking back to that dream just makes me miss her incredibly. The dream was set in the past but how I want to see her in the present. In another dream, I think I was on the set of "Fast Times" as she was acting for her scenes. There is something about her being glad I was there. I think I wore my uniform. There was another dream that seems to be in the gulag but I don't recognize any of those images and I don't understand what it all means.
05/27/07 4:21 AM
There are other details I remember from that dream. Details that Phoebe told me in the dream, but I am afraid it won't come true. It happens a lot. Another day; nothing happens.
05/27/07 4:31 AM
She was dressed just like this in that dream:
http://gallery.phoebe-cates.com/v/misc/misc682.jpg.html
05/27/07 4:33 AM
I hate to even look at the screen captures from any of those movies. Makes me so goddamned lonely!!!!
05/27/07 4:37 AM
It stands to reason that all of my long-term memories connect somehow to her. If we weren't together, there probably wasn't a day went by since 1981 that I did not miss her.
05/27/07 4:40 AM
If I just concentrate hard enough, I should be able to actually remember her.
I have also been wondering if she was the first woman that I actually felt jealous about. Until then, if another woman did something I didn't like, I could just replace her. I hope she doesn't try to use that against me. I think women actually like to make men jealous because it shows they care. I hope she doesn't feel that need to make me feel that way.
05/27/07 4:46 AM
She probably has her own insecurities because I am in such high demand in my real life. I hate to even acknowledge that reality to her because I don't want her to feel bad. But it is her I go back to from these nightmares. It is her and it always will be. There is no one else and never will be.
05/27/07 4:52 AM
Considering all the nightmares I have seen, it is an understatement of epic proportions to say that she must be quite special to me.
05/27/07 4:55 AM
I cannot even begin to describe how goddamned pissed off I am at having to be apart from her for over 9 years!!!! AND I STILL DON'T GODDAMNED KNOW WHEN I WILL GET TO GO BACK HOME TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
05/27/07 4:58 AM
Something is so familiar about this photo every time I see it:
http://gallery.phoebe-cates.com/v/misc/misc345.jpg.html
05/27/07 5:01 AM
I can't look at this any more.
GODDAMNIT!!!! WHY CAN'T I GO HOME!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU GODDAMN STINKING PAPARAZZI MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
05/27/07 5:19 AM
There are also elements that show her love for me, but I guess I don't like writing much about that because I am scared of losing her. I would probably talk with her personally about my thoughts, but when we are apart, I feel more fear that I could lose her and.......something.
The person I “remember” as Thedia Newman’s father was born 59 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, before the first launch of the space shuttle on 4/12/1981. I guess that is a clue designed to reflect that I was on that flight and that I was attending the U.S. Naval Academy with the Class of 1982, at the time.
http://www.rootsweb.com/~txdonley/co82.html
…
Coleman Newman
1921 - 1982
Coleman Newman died in May 1982.
Born July 29, 1921, Newman was 60 years old and lived in Clarendon, TX.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarendon%2C_Virginia
Clarendon is a neighborhood in Arlington County, Virginia, USA, located between the Rosslyn area and the Ballston area. The main thoroughfares are Wilson Boulevard (one-way westbound) and Clarendon Boulevard (one-way eastbound).
Clarendon, VA, is right next to Arlington National Cemetery.
http://local.live.com/?v=2&sp=Point.qgdwjw8k7qr9_Clarendon%2c%20Arlington%2c%20Virginia%2c%20United%20States___
From 6/27/1994 to 11/22/2000 is: 334 weeks and 2 days
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unbreakable
Release date(s) November 22, 2000
Unbreakable is a 2000 film written, produced and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, starring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.
http://www.satobs.org/seesat/Jun-1996/0230.html
...
NEWS RELEASE
For Release: June 28
Contact(s):
Don Hatch - Manager
L-1011 Operations & Logistics
Orbital Sciences Corporation
(805) 391-4888 (Bakersfield Field Office)
(703) 406-5360 (Dulles, VA Headquarters)
Jim Spellman - Executive Director
National Space Society/Western Spaceport Chapter
(619) 379-2503 (Mtn. Mesa - Lake Isabella, CA)
...
According to the aerospace industry trade paper, *Space News,* NASA's Total
Ozone Mapping Spectrometer (TOMS) will fly on the fourth launch of the
Pegasus XL space launch vehicle. The first two Pegasus XL launches failed in
1993 and 1994, but the third succeeded earlier this year.
http://www.astronautix.com/lvs/pegsusxl.htm
...
1994 June 27 - 21:15 GMT - Launch Site: Vandenberg. Launch Complex: RW30. Launch Pad: L-1011. Launch Vehicle: Pegasus XL. Model: Pegasus XL. LV Configuration: Pegasus XL F6.
FAILURE: Destroyed on launch.
