I keep hoping I would unlock some new detail in my mind in order to share a specific greeting with my wife today. If not, I'll just have to share my hope that you have a Happy Mother's Day and I hope we never spend another day apart after I get home. I don't know where is home exactly, but I know it is where ever is Phoebe, my wife. I can't go back there yet because I have not completed my assignment yet.
I remember that day I called Thedia on Mother's Day. I think it was 2003 because I seem to recall living in Redmond at the time. I remember she said she wasn't sure I would call but she was hoping I would.
I have been thinking that my artificial and symbolic memories were created to reflect some opposite effects of my real life. For example, I have been thinking for a while that in my real life, my mother and I weren't very close but I was close to my father. That is just how I "remember" my father's life. I don't think my father, in my artificial and symbolic memories, knew his mother but he and his father was close. Then there are details encoded in my artifical memory that reflect my reality, such as my wife's birthday, which is July 16th. It is the same in both cases. My wife in my artificial memories has about the same age difference with my real and artificial identity as does my real wife. And then there is the fact that the wife in my artificial and symbolic memories is the daughter of Joseph, as is my real wife. My father in my artificial and symbolic memory was also named Joseph.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sleep journal 5/17/06
Had some kind of dream that I was driving on the road. I think I was driving a pickup I used to have, that red Nissan. There was someone in another car driving along with me, following me to some destination. I remember the scenary, but it wasn't some place I recognized, it seemed to be some kind of 4-lane highway. At one point, the car following me didn't make a stop light in time and had to stop while I kept going. I found a place to turn off into a parking lot to wait for them. I think it was an auto parts store, but no place I recognize. I could actually hear someone talking, but I was alone in the truck. I think it was the people in the store. As I was pulling into the parking lot, something happened, all my windows seemed to become frozen off, as though I drove through a freezing cloud, I couldn't see anything. Then the car following me caught up with me and pulled in next to me. As I was backing out to continue, I saw a face in the car and I think it was my mother, the car kind of looked like that Bonneville she used to have. We continued driving along the highway.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 20, 2006
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I remember from my obviously false past that my imaginary father used to use the name Kerry as an alias when he was cheating on my mother. I remember my mother telling me she wanted to name me after him, but he wanted to call me Kerry. Maybe that means my real name is actually Joseph Wayne Burgess. But I don't know.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 21, 2006, Supplemental
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After my girlfriends father corrected me about the enlisted pilot error those years ago, I was then talking about how my dad told me that my uncle, James, had been with the "underground" during Vietnam. I remember that he retired some years ago and had been the manager of a club on some Air Force base. I heard that he had married a wealthy woman who owned a lingerie company.
In another memory from this artificial life, I remember telling my mother about how frustrated I was that my ex-wife, Tracie, could push my buttons so well to get me to do what she wanted.
"The Wild Boys" is the twelfth single from the band Duran Duran, released on the live album Arena in October of 1984. It reached #2 on the UK Singles Chart, the American Billboard Hot 100, and the Canadian CHUM Chart, and reached #1 on the German charts. It was the band's biggest charting single in Australia, reaching #3.
DURAN DURAN LYRICS
"Wild Boys"
The wild boys are calling
On their way back from the fire
In august moon's surrender to
A dust cloud on the rise
Wild boys fallen far from glory
Reckless and so hungered
On the razors edge you trail
Because there's murder by the roadside
In a sore afraid new world
They tried to break us,
Looks like they'll try again
Wild boys never lose it
Wild boys never chose this way
Wild boys never close your eyes
Wild boys always shine
You got sirens for a welcome
There's bloodstain for your pain
And your telephone been ringing while
You're dancing in the rain
Wild boys wonder where is glory
Where is all you angels
Now the figureheads have fell
And lovers war with arrows over
Secrets they could tell
They tried to tame you
Looks like they'll try again
Wild boys never lose it
Wild boys never chose this way
Wild boys never close your eyes
Wild boys always shine
