Thursday, February 15, 2007

as they received them from their fathers and mothers

I was resisting creating a list of my thoughts on this subject because I have no privacy and I didn’t want to reveal anything I didn’t want to reveal to the Microsoft-Corbis zombies stalking me. I was bombarded at work with clues, as I better understand now, that they were stalking me and it has taken me this long to figure it out. So anyway, one day I felt compelled to make a list - I make a lot of lists - and this one was about people I think I have been protecting. Why I started to think it didn’t matter anymore whether I noted in my journal about this theory, I do not know. It is all a mystery to me how I know most of what I know, or seem to know. I have also found myself forgetting to put some of them in the list when I re-create the list, but as I pointed out in my journal: there are still days when I do not think about being one of the people to walk on the surface of the Earth’s moon. You would think something like that a person would think about every day for the rest of their lives. Every day you wake up, I am sure it is something that enters your mind within the first hour; that thought reminding you that you once walked on the Moon. I still don’t actually remember that experience in the conventional sense, but I believe I was there. And yet, I will go several days without even thinking about it. I equate remembering my children with the same mental processes as having walked on the Moon, meaning those are emotional aspects of my life I am aware of every day. I don’t know what is the next step, but I think this is just part of the process of regaining my real memories. I have to work at it slow because there is just so much to remember.


Will Smith is actually one of the latest people I have started to think is one of my children. And it makes sense. While I would have been very young when he was born, I actually would have been starting my 3rd year at Princeton University at the time. Also according to my theories, he was born about 2 years after my first launch into space aboard Gemini 12. There is also my theory that I landed on the Earth’s moon the following year. As for being a student at Princeton University when he was born, when I was 9 years old, I have found other clues to support that theory. One is around a group of people that I am reluctant to reveal but the clues associated with that group are consistent. Another is a recent clue. The new commander of U.S. Forces in Iraq was a student of Princeton University’s Woodrow Wilson school. Between his birthday, according to sources on the internet, and the day I think I started at Princeton University, my real birthday of 3/3/59 is very close to the mid-point; an example of my “April 16“ theory. The date difference of 11/7/52 to 3/3/59 is 2308 days. The date difference of 3/3/59 to 9/2/65 is 2376 days. As for Will Smith, his birthday is 9/25/68, according to information I found on the internet, forms a connection to Gemini 12. The date difference of 3/3/59 and 9/25/68 is 3495 days. Multiplying 3495 by 0.195933 equals 684.785. The date difference of the launch of Gemini 12 on 11/11/66 and Will Smith’s 9/25/68 birthday was 685 days.


Eminem’s birthday, as listed on the internet, is 3 years, 33 weeks, 3 days, before 6/7/76, the date I think I landed on the Saturn moon Phoebe. As far as I know, that was the second moon and the second extra-terrestrial body any human has visited. I think Eminem and I knew each other most of his life, although he didn’t always live with me. I think my “memories” of childhood may be modeled after his childhood. I find this incredibly interesting because from what I can tell, I never really had a childhood.


Angelina Jolie’s birthday is listed as 33 weeks before I think I landed on Mars on 1/21/76. I think she is the basis for the daughter of the character Bruce Willis portrayed in “Armageddon.” I was watching that movie again a few months ago and I found myself either imagining or actually starting to remember that she was just an infant though at the time I was making a similar video broadcast back to Earth in 1976 with a farewell message because I wasn’t going to be able to make it back home as I had promised her. I found myself either imagining or actually remembering a scene in real life that someone later described to me or had recorded where she knew my image on the screen as her daddy but nothing else she understood. I have theorized that Angelina lived with me for at least of few years of her youth. Or at least, she lived at my house when I was deployed away with the military and she lived with my wife because I was gone a lot.


The date listed for Tiger Woods birthday was 59 days after 11/2/75, the date I believe I launched into space on my 17 month journey to intercept the comet. I have been thinking for a while that I met Tiger’s grandfather, Earl Woods, or so I assume, when I was in Vietnam as a pilot-soldier for the South Vietnamese. The South - I still find it amusing how that is symbolized in my “memory” and is probably why I have a southern accent - was desperate to avoid being over-run by the North and I wanted to help them retain their sovereignty. So anyway, I think I was going over there, along with my space program activities, during my breaks from Princeton University and the mascot of that school is the Tiger. I’m not sure how long Tiger Woods has known about me. I have been thinking this is all relatively new to him and he thought Earl was his father instead of his grandfather. I think his real mother and I got married sometime in the months before I left for space in November 1975. I’m not sure what happened after that and why we didn’t stay married. And I can think of more than one other woman I have been thinking of something similar: if we were married, why didn’t we stay married?


The date listed for Evangeline Lilly’s birthday was 3 years, 33 days, after 7/2/76, the date I think I intercepted the comet. I have been thinking for a while that the comet I intercepted was later named Comet Hyakutake. My theory is that my work deflected the comet into a long period orbit of our sun or possibly Jupiter, before it began to approach the Earth again. Another theory is that it continued on almost the same course and made a close pass to Earth, but because of the explosions, which occurred on 7/4/76 after I had traveled away from it a few million miles, the comet was surrounded by so much dust and debris, it did not develop a coma visible from Earth. I believe the comet was fragmented by the explosions into at least three large pieces and those fragments approached Earth again about 20 years later. I believe Comet Hyakutake was part of that original comet and it was the part that made the closest approach to Earth in 1996, at about 9 million miles. Comet Hale-Bopp was also visible around that time and judging by actual “memories” I have of seeing that comet, I assume those “memories” are in my mind for symbolic reasons. The closest approach of Hale-Bopp to Earth in 1997 was about 120 million miles. I assume Comet Hale-Bopp was also part of that original comet I blew up in 1976. From what I read on the internet, Comet Hyakutake was about 1.24 miles across and Comet Hale-Bopp was about 25 miles across.


The date listed for Michelle Kwan’s birthday is connected to Skylab 2, the first manned mission of the Skylab series, and I believe, the final step in my launch to the outer solar system in 1975. Of the period between 3/3/59 and 7/7/80 birth day, the launch of Skylab 2 was on a day 2/3’s of the way through that period. My theory is that the real purpose of the Skylab series was to make final preparations to my Project Orion space craft for my journey to the outer solar system to intercept the comet. The space craft was launched during what sources indicate was Skylab 1, which was the only unmanned launch of that series. I believe Skylab 2, Skylab 3, and Skylab 4, were actually a shakedown period for the space craft I would take to the outer solar system and that on at least one of the Skylab missions, we traveled almost a million miles away from the Earth. I have been trying to determine if something relevant to me happened on 11/5/75 and I think that was the date I traveled past one million miles from Earth, breaking the record we set during one of the Skylab missions.


Elijah Wood was one of the stars of the 1998 movie “Deep Impact.” That movie released, according to information on the internet, on Friday 5/8/98, and I believe that day was the closest they could get to 5/9, which was the following Saturday.


Paris Hilton was born, according to information on the internet, 5 years, 0.9 months, after 1/21/76, the day I think I landed on Mars.


Natalie Portman’s birth date listed on the internet is only 4 days away from being the anchor to my birth date and the safe return of the ill-fated Apollo 13 mission. Those 4 days represents a difference of 0.04%


Roger Federer was born, according to information on the internet, on a date 5 years, 9 months, 6 days, after 11/2/75, which was the date I think I launched on my mission to the outer solar system to intercept the comet. I don’t know why the 6 days, though. Maybe it is something about 3 plus 3 equals 6. Or it is


Britney Spears was born, according to information on the internet, precisely 33 weeks, 3 days, after 4/12/81, the launch date of the first space shuttle. Around the time I was starting to question whether I had actually attended the U.S. Naval Academy, of which I could not begin to explain why I was thinking that, she was in the news with an employee of hers named Perry Taylor. That really caught my attention because, in my “memories” of Kerry Burgess, the first ship I was stationed aboard in the U.S. Navy was an Oliver Hazard Perry-class frigate named USS Taylor. I puzzled over that and I think I had been pondering over whether Eminem and Tiger Woods were my sons. I also started thinking that I had a Kenwood stereo because she is from Kentwood, Lousiana. That notion is the same reason I had a Philco brand television - because my father’s name is Philip and he is a television and movie actor. I formed that theory because I “remember” buying that Kenwood stereo, which I was very attached to, after I got out of the Navy in 1990. I believe virtually all of my long-term “memories” are symbolic of something greater. I’m not entirely sure why I “remember” buying a nice Mitsubishi television around the same time as that Kenwood stereo but I recently noted that one translation of Mitsubishi is “three diamonds.”


Danica Patrick was born, according to information on the internet, precisely 59.3 months after 4/14/77, the date I think I returned to Earth from my mission to the outer solar system to intercept the comet.


The date listed for Kristin Kreuk creates a connection to the launch of Apollo 14. The Apollo 14 mission was the 8th manned launch of the Apollo series and it was the 3rd to land on Earth’s moon, Luna. There were 6 Apollo missions that landed on Luna and this one was the 3rd, meaning it was at the middle. The Apollo 14 launch was precisely - to the day - in the middle of my birth date and Kristin Kreuk’s birth date.


Lindsay Lohan was born, according to information on the internet, precisely 10 years after 7/2/76, the date I think I intercepted the comet. When she was born, I believe I was still working on trying to get home from Africa. I think those events are a plot element of George Clooney’s “O Brother Where Art Thou?” where they are escaping from a chain gang and he returns to find he has a new daughter. I’m not sure if there is other symbolism there, but I think the Woolworth’s store means something.


The space shuttle Atlantis mission STS-34 began precisely 7 days after Michelle Wie was born, according to information on the internet, and there was no sequence of the previous flight numbers, suggesting to me that number was chosen specifically for that time. That symmetry of 7 days reminds me of how the USS Winston Churchill was commissioned precisely 7 days after my birthday and I have described my reasoning as to why that particular ship of the Arleigh Burke-class was selected to connect with my real identity. As for space shuttle flight STS-34, I have written of other clues about how the first and second flights of Atlantis seem to connect to my visit to the Jupiter moon Callisto on 11/26/76. The shuttle flight STS-34, the 5th flight for the orbiter vehicle Atlantis, launched the soon-to-be-famous Galileo spacecraft to study Jupiter precisely 7 days after Michelle was born. I think also that my birthday in my father’s country would have been March 4th. I’m not sure where I was born, but I have been thinking it was Hawaii on 3/3/59 and at the time of my birth, it was March 4th in England, the native country of my father, while my mother was a citizen of the U.S. I have been thinking for a while that means I have dual citizenship with the U.S. and Britain. That reminds me of a few years ago where I had Martha Stewart confused with Patrick Stewart for a long time. It’s really quite humorous as I think it all through. I believe that her last name, Wie, reflects that I flew those American’s being held in Iran to Wiesbaden and I was very happy that day that they were coming home. One other theory is that Michelle Wie was the only child I have had that I was present at the birth and I was very happy to drive her home from the hospital. That’s my theory anyway. I think I might have made the decision personally to use the Lockheed L-1011 for those Pegasus rocket launches and I chose the L-1011 because of her 10/11/89 birthday.


There are some other people I have started to think are my offspring that I haven’t listed here. There are reasons that I cannot fully articulate. As for this journal entry listed below, I think the dream was about her mother and this was something to do with my impending launch on the first space shuttle. STS-1 was the first flight of the space shuttle and used the orbiter vehicle Columbia. I have puzzled over that detail about the travel trailer and I decided it represents two things. One is that she was an actress and that was her trailer on a movie set. Another is that it was the trailer you see the astronauts being transported on before they launch from Cape Canaveral. I believe Britney’s name reflects that I was “Britain’s Spear” when I intercepted the comet, as Britain was part of the joint effort to stop the comet, and there is also my theory about my father being from Britain. Also, I wrote about those so-called “foreign dreams” and I believe that was actually a symptom of my amnesia. I couldn’t understand why I had such thoughts and they seemed foreign to my mind, which makes sense for someone with amnesia to perceive thoughts of a life that was consciously forgotten.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sleep journal 3/19/06

Yesterday was some kind of foreign dream that was more of an emotion than a visualization. I couldn't remember any of the details although I felt like I had been seeing details. All I remembered was feeling like it was something intense, there was some intensity to the communication, almost overwhelming like a very strong and clear signal on a radio. After I woke up, I could only characterize the message as positive.

Today the first foreign dream wasn't too clear either. It had something to do with me, someother characters, and something about the stars. We were under the stars, or we were talking to the stars. I can visualize the sky with the stars but they may have also been a metaphor for people. Then I left somewhere and there was something about a goose, not sure what that meant, maybe something to do with staying meant something about a cooked goose.


The second foreign dream had a lot of detail. I was sitting on a bus with someone that I knew but I don't know who it was. It may have been Britney Spears but that makes no sense. I was sitting next to her and she was someone that I had lived with before, someone I had a relationship with, like a girlfriend. I was getting off the bus to a place I was staying that I don't recognize from anyplace I've been in real life. She asked me if I was really staying there, she may have commented that it was amazing I was staying there, or someone else said that. Apparently, it was the same place she and I had lived during our relationship. It was some kind of little travel trailer. A young woman was letting me stay there. I was taking up a little open seat or bench in a hallway of the trailer. I had a little storage bin to put my stuff in.


I found this humorous at first but then I was annoyed simply because it reminded me of Microsoft stealing my intellectual property. Later I would read that poem again I referenced and I started puzzling over that. The title of the poem was “To The Moon.” Then I did some calculations and I observed that Tiger Woods was born 59 days after my theoretical launch into space for my mission to the outer solar system. From what I can tell, of the children that were born before him, he was the only born when I was in space. I have also read that Jupiter is known as the “wood star” in the Chinese, Korean, Japanese, and Vietnamese cultures. The Jupiter moon Callisto would have been my last stop before I made it back home on 4/14/77. A lot of this makes more sense now and I also see how my “memories” of the life of Kerry Burgess were influencing my perceptions.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Monday, September 12, 2005

I wrote earlier about my game to shake off the people following me. I found it somewhat humorous but slightly annoying when I saw a car commercial with a real celebrity (reminds me of Shelley's Among the stars that have a different birth by virtue of them knowing why people are following them) racing away from paparazzi while he is also taking pictures of them with his camera.


To the Moon
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Art thou pale for weariness

Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, -
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?


My theories were reinforced when I noticed a place that was labeled Mather Memorial Parkway on the map. I had driven along there several times and all the zombies following knew I was there and they knew why I was there even though I did not. They have known exactly who I am all this time and all these zombie bastards were doing was trying to get me killed in order to cover up that they were stealing from me, among other crimes they perpetrated. How I knew to drive to that place all those times, I do not know. But it is just another incontrovertible clue that these zombies have been maliciously harassing me and it has all been for no reason, over the last few years to get me killed. And it is more than just about getting me killed. There are a lot of other people they got killed as a result of their treason.


On the day Britney Spear’s first child was born, I wrote this in my journal and I am quite certain I was not aware of the birth at that time:

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Home

I've written several times of this experience in terms of that Star Trek:TNG episode where Capt. Picard is assimilated by the Borg. While I do not consider myself a "Trekkie", I like the Star Trek series because I am a fan in general of science fiction, and because I like any good story that captures my imagination. There was a follow-on episode to those episodes of where Picard is captured and it was titled "Family." While I typically like the episodes with more action, I always get a kick out this episode because Picard's brother reminded me so much of my sister, in terms of obvious sibling rivalry. I also found myself envying Picard's character for being able to go back to a home like that, where he has roots. I was watching a movie a few months ago based on John McCain's POW experiences and I was thinking of how a lot of it seemed similar. I was most interested in what it was like for him to come back home after his 6 years in captivity but the movie seemed kind of light there. I also found myself envying McCain for his family, especially not only being third-generation Navy but a family of notable service to the Navy.


That 9/14/2005 journal entry was shortly before I was kicked out of the veteran’s center, which was a relatively comfortable homeless shelter and even more comfortable because I had just barely survived that incident where I was poisoned and I was grateful to have a private room to go back to as I was in severe agony for a long time. So anyway, that journal entry reminds me of the chatter of the zombies in that Pioneer Square gulag after I moved into that place, where I would live for almost a year.

Her second child’s name reminds me of an episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” where “Data” loses his memory and a child names him “Jayden.” I made the following entry in my journal after I read about her second child and then I puzzled for a while over how easily I found that reference from Jack London. I have always - or so my “memory” suggests - been a fan of Jack London’s work, but I puzzled over this reference and how quickly I found it because I can’t actually remember ever reading it. I can’t quite articulate what I want to say about that.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/12/2006 4:03 PM

http://www.online-literature.com/view.php/before-adam/2

But they make the mistake of ignoring their own duality. They do not recognize their other-personality. They think it is their own personality, that they have only one personality; and from such a premise they can conclude only that they have lived previous lives.

But they are wrong. It is not reincarnation. I have visions of myself roaming through the forests of the Younger World; and yet it is not myself that I see but one that is only remotely a part of me, as my father and my grandfather are parts of me less remote. This other-self of mine is an ancestor, a progenitor of my progenitors in the early line of my race, himself the progeny of a line that long before his time developed fingers and toes and climbed up into the trees.

I must again, at the risk of boring, repeat that I am, in this one thing, to be considered a freak. Not alone do I possess racial memory to an enormous extent, but I possess the memories of one particular and far-removed progenitor. And yet, while this is most unusual, there is nothing over-remarkable about it.

Follow my reasoning. An instinct is a racial memory. Very good. Then you and I and all of us receive these memories from our fathers and mothers, as they received them from their fathers and mothers.



I looked back through my journal at the date I read that Angelina Jolie’s youngest child was born and I puzzled over this entry:

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 27, 2006, Supplemental

I feel like I am about to pass out. My heart must be racing a hundred miles an hour!


Around the time I started to identify these people as possibly being my children, I found myself thinking a lot about this song, as illustrated by the lyrics below. The more I remember - or seem to remember - about any of this about people I think are my family, the lonelier I feel. The loneliest feeling in the world is to miss the family you cannot remember. It has only been 282 days since I started becoming vaguely aware that my life as I “remember” it is completely untrue. The most profound understanding is that all those photos I remember of me at various stages of my youth are actually of some other kid. I’m not really sure if I would even recognize images of myself. I find myself looking at photos of people that I think are familiar, but I just don’t know.


Where`d you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you`ve been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don`t understand why you always have to be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not to feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don`t have much to say, so

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I`m stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I`ve had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where`d you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you`ve been gone
Where`d you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you`ve been gone
Please
Come back home

You know, the place you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Yeah
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I`m doing fine and I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I`ll tell you

I want you to know its a little messed up that
I`m stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I`ve had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing