JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2006 2:40 PM
To: Kerry Burgess
Subject: Re: manipulate
Kerry Burgess wrote:
[This reminds me of something I told a doctor in the VA. He was relating something to me about Freud. I commented about the difference between invention and discovery. My basic understanding of Freud is that you can't really prove anything he said. It's sort of like astrology, in the sense that it shapes the way people perceive the universe. Essentially people see things [ the way ] they want to see them and discard the stuff they don't want to see]
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 23 March 2006 excerpt ends]
http://www.spacefacts.de/graph/drawing/drawings2/sts-49_rollout.jpg
From 6/15/2004 to 5/4/2005 is 323 days
From 5/4/2005 to 3/23/2006 is 323 days
[ See also: http://hvom.blogspot.com/2016/01/too-boo-or-not-to-boo.html ]
http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Fuss-The-Killers/dp/B0002858YS
amazon
Hot Fuss
The Killers
Product Details
Audio CD (June 15, 2004)
Original Release Date: June 15, 2004
http://www.tv.com/people/the-killers/
tv.com
The Killers
They released their first album Hot Fuss on June 7, 2004 in the UK, and June 15, 2004 in the US.
http://www.azlyrics.com/k/killers.html
AZ
THE KILLERS
album: "Hot Fuss" (2004)
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/killers/mrbrightside.html
AZ
THE KILLERS
"Mr Brightside"
I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go
And I just can’t look - it's killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullabies [acoustic version of the song says: "Swimming through sick lullabies"]
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go
'Cause I just can’t look - it's killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullabies [acoustic version of the song says: "Swimming through sick lullabies"]
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
I never...
I never...
I never...
I never...
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: - posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 6:53 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Friday 04 December 2015 - http://hvom.blogspot.com/2015/12/first-federal.html
First Federal
What this always reminds me of is what I have written here in the open before about the life I remember in Greenville South Carolina back in early 1990s.
I decided to write this note now because of my theory about the divergence point of the memories stored physically in my human brain.
At first I was thinking for a while that the divergent point was July 1989. And while that hypothetical experience was a theoretical divergence point I began to believe that the point I need to focus on in the sort of peripheral vision into the memory accessible to my mind is June 2005.
I now believe that I was fully aware before 13 June 2005.
But then when they secretly drugged me then that caused me to lose conscious awareness of certain details.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 04 December 2015 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Friday, August 23, 2013 11:08 PM
They had me doped into a stupor for a over a year and only obviously after I saw – literally – the proper sign did my attitude change. I did start to declare that I have a different identity and I wrote about my suspicions. I suspected my identity diverged at some point and I suspected I was working with a secret identity. I even told the psychiatrist at the VA hospital about my suspicions. I told him I started thinking my real name was Thomas Ray. And so for many years after that point in the year 2006 I was about 85% certain that I might be Thomas Ray. I was still maintaining my legal identity of Kerry Burgess but I was confused about why I was thinking I was a completely different person. A person who is still just based on thoughts in my mind to this very day but that I am convinced is a real person.
I just couldn’t understand why I am not as tall as he is. We look almost identical in appearance but he is several inches taller than I am. And driving me even more crazy is that if I was the real Kerry Wayne Burgess – the United States Marshal – then I should have a gunshot wound scar on my left shoulder.
So I am not as tall as Thomas Ray and I do not have the scar on my shoulder.
The year 2011 seems to be a year of transition for me.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 23 August 2013 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Thu, May 4, 2006 3:12:00 PM
Subject: Re: Sleep journal 5/4/06
Kerry Burgess wrote:
After my short nap yesterday late evening, when back to sleep after midnight and slept pretty soundly until after 7. Had a dream that seemed to occur just before I woke up. I was inside some kind of missile. Seems like it was an SM2-ER on the Wainwright's launcher and it was going to send me into orbit or outer space maybe. When I woke up, I heard lyrics from that song:
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 04 May 2006 excerpt ends]
http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/530930main_sts49launch_full.jpg
From 5/13/2005 to 9/24/2005 is 134 days
From 9/24/2005 to 2/5/2006 is 134 days
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: - posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 2:23 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Wednesday 13 April 2016 - http://hvom.blogspot.com/2016/04/hvom-prequel.html
Series Finale
Well, it's almost that time. They're supposed to be kicking me out of here tomorrow. This will probably be my last post before I go off the air. They mentioned something about getting me into another shelter, but they haven't said anything else about it. They also said something about being in-patient at the VA again, but what is the point to that? I haven't heard anything in the past few days about any of it.
For the past few hours, I have been thinking of something that happened last time I was on the streets. I was sitting somewhere in Seattle reading Robinson Crusoe, knowing that people with answers were watching me and wondering why they aren't telling me anything, and then a bus went by me. As I looked up, a woman on the bus was looking at me. She was smiling or laughing, I'm not sure which one, it felt like she was laughing. I thought about that for a long time. I thought to myself about how she knew who I was. Why would she be laughing at me? She knows I am living a nightmare, the kind of nightmare people have in their sleep but don't even remember in the morning, and she is laughing at me. That was a new feeling to me, of people laughing at me like that, especially of someone laughing at my misfortune. Not to mention, laughing at me while I am in the middle of experiencing such misfortune, such epic misfortune. What is funny about someone having to stumble around through the dangerous streets waiting for that inevitable moment when some group sneaks up behind you late at night and hits you over the head for the change in your pocket? I thought at first that maybe it was just a coincidence, that it was just a random occurrence, but there has just been too much stuff like that happen. Eventually I would decide that she was laughing because she knew everything was going to be ok for me. She knew who I was and she knew I could weather this storm and be the better person for it in the end. That's what I hope for at least. That is what I continue to hope for though as I was expecting some improvement at any moment and I continue to expect that at any minute I will get the news that turns this all around and I can get back to my life. I just don't know. What a wretched existence this has become. I don't want to go back to the streets but I can't stand it here. If I just knew there was an end to all this, it would be so much easier to tolerate. But living here or living out there isn't much of a difference, either will end up killing me.
posted by H.V.O.M at 10:48 PM | 0 comments
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Epilogue: Last Day
After some delay, I am finally down to my last couple hours in this place. They have a new place for me to go, but my condition is only a tiny degree removed from being on the street, with its danger and privacy and frustration. A long time ago, in another life, I once felt resentment for those that would not speak out but now I understand why they would not and I can't really blame them because they were obviously smart enough to know that doing so would only lead them to this point I am at now. I certainly couldn't blame the ones with kids to support, with nothing really to lose myself in terms of that kind of responsibility, I don't even really think of the risks, although up to this point, I have never really lost so badly as now, I have never lost so much. I wonder if I will be alive this time next week, or even this time tomorrow. When I would wake each day and wonder if today would be the last, will today be the last. It used to be a question, not so much wondering if it would be the last, but a question of what I would use that day to accomplish. But now, it is just a matter of surviving, because I still expect it to turn around at some point. At some point, one day, it will turn around and start getting better but for now it just keeps getting worse.
posted by H.V.O.M at 1:53 PM | 0 comments
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Sunday, February 05, 2006
posted by H.V.O.M at 10:46 AM
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 13 April 2016 excerpt ends]
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1507/1504/1600/testpat.jpg
http://hvom.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_archive.html
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2006 Posted by H.V.O.M at 10:46 AM
http://www.chakoteya.net/Enterprise/98.htm
These Are The Voyages... [ Star Trek: Enterprise ]
Original Airdate: 13 May, 2005
(Transcriber's note - Warning! Worst Trek Episode Ever!)
[Bridge]
TRAVIS: When are they expecting you in Brazil?
HOSHI: I told them a couple of weeks after the ceremony. With all the receptions, and then I'll need at least a week to clear up the linguistic database.
TRAVIS: After ten years on this ship, I'll bet it'll take a while getting used to the humidity again.
HOSHI: And the bugs.
REED: Does the Captain have to give a speech?
T'POL: He's working on it now.
TRAVIS: He hates giving speeches.
REED: And he'll undoubtedly make every effort to take no credit.
T'POL: Undoubtedly.
http://www.tv.com/shows/star-trek-enterprise/these-are-the-voyages--400668/
tv.com
Star Trek: Enterprise Season 4 Episode 22
These Are the Voyages …
Aired Wednesday 8:00 PM May 13, 2005 on UPN
AIRED: 5/13/05
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/These_Are_the_Voyages...
These Are the Voyages...
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"These Are the Voyages..." is the series finale of the UPN American science fiction television show Star Trek: Enterprise. The 22nd episode of the fourth season and the 98th of the series overall, it first aired on May 13, 2005, in the United States.
http://www.chakoteya.net/Enterprise/98.htm
These Are The Voyages... [ Star Trek: Enterprise ]
Original Airdate: 13 May, 2005
[Counsellor's office]
(Enterprise D has arrived at the Devolin system's asteroid field.)
DATA [OC]: Data to Counsellor Troi.
TROI: Yes, Data.
DATA [OC]: I was wondering if this might be an appropriate time to continue our discussion on the long-term effects of space travel on my positronic net.
TROI: Can I give you a rain check?
DATA [OC]: You may check me for rain if you like, Counsellor, but I assure you there is no water in my
(Doorbell chimes.)
TROI: Data, I'll get back to you. Come in.
RIKER: I know it's past office hours.
TROI: What is it?
RIKER: It won't be long before they find the Pegasus.
TROI: You haven't made your decision. The holodeck?
RIKER: They rescued the Andorian's daughter.
TROI: So you're coming to the moment of truth in there, as well.
RIKER: I need you to promise you'll keep this confidential.
TROI: You know I will.
RIKER: What do you know about the Treaty of Algeron?
TROI: 2311. It redefined the Romulan Neutral Zone.
RIKER: It also outlawed the use of cloaking technology on Starfleet vessels.
TROI: The Pegasus?
RIKER: A secret group in Starfleet Security developed a prototype. Pressman was put in charge of testing it.
TROI: That's why they're so eager to find it before the Romulans do.
RIKER: The accident, the seventy one people who died, we were testing the cloaking device.
TROI: It was covered up.
RIKER: The nine of us who made it back alive were sworn to secrecy.
TROI: And you've lived with that for twelve years?
RIKER: They want to pick the experiment up where they left off.
TROI: Are you sure?
RIKER: Pressman told me himself. What they're doing is wrong. It could jeopardise the treaty.
TROI: And you want to tell that to Captain Picard.
RIKER: I took an oath of secrecy. Pressman still outranks the Captain.
TROI: Will, you didn't get this far in your career making easy decisions. I'm confident you'll make the right one now.
RIKER: I wish I was.
http://www.azlyrics.com/k/killers.html
AZ
THE KILLERS
album: "Hot Fuss" (2004)
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/killers/allthesethingsthativedone.html
AZ
THE KILLERS
"All These Things That I've Done"
When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 3:56 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Monday 02 May 2016
