http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F08.html
Lisa's First Word
Original airdate in N.A.: 3-Dec-92
Krusty continues his promotion -- just scrape off the name of the event from your game card that comes with the sandwich and if America wins a gold medal, you win a free burger! -- then takes a bite of a sandwich. "Mmm!" End of commercial.
Krusty: Blech! [spits the burger out] Oh, I almost swallowed some of the juice. [drinks from his flask] Uhh, I'll be tasting that for weeks.
Accountant: Great spot, K. C.
Krusty: Put a sock in it, preppy. How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?
Accountant: Not to worry, Mr. K. We've rigged the cards: they're all in events that Communists never lose.
Krusty: I like, I like.
Woman: This just came over the wires, Big K.
Krusty: [reads] Uh-huh. Soviet boycott. U.S. unopposed in most events. How does this affect our giveaway?
Accountant: Let's see. [calculates] You personally stand to lose $44 million.
-- As long as he never bets against the Globetrotters, "Lisa's First Word"
Bart refuses to give up his crib to the new baby, even after much pulling and reverse psychology from Homer, so Homer builds him a new bed -- a clown bed. "Homer J. Simpson, you're a genius." Only the clown is grotesque and frightening looking. Homer reassures Bart he'll be able to laugh himself to sleep, but Bart imagines the clown intoning with barely-suppressed evil glee, "If you should die before you wake..."
Bart: Can't sleep, clown'll eat me...Can't sleep, clown'll eat me...
-- Bart laughs himself to sleep, "Lisa's First Word"
The family watch the Olympics.
Announcer: And we're seconds away from the 100-meter butterfly. While the East German, heh heh, "women", are shaving their backs three thousand miles away, the Americans are heavy favorites.
-- The 1984 Olympics butterfly competition, "Lisa's First Word"
Homer's stomach grumbles. "Patience, my pet." The butterfly begins, but half of the contestants are about to drown because they come from countries that don't have swimming pools. The other announcer comments sarcastically, "Boo hoo, you're breaking my heart!"
