To Serve Man

That card I have from that homeless shelter is dated 6/11/2005. I can still recall walking upstairs there to check in and the woman took a photo of me and gave me that card. That is the place I have compared before to that "burning Polaroid" scene with "Kyle Reese" in the 1984 "The Terminator."

So I must have gone to the Redmond police on 6/11/2005.

If I remember this correctly the Redmond police in the Seattle suburbs of King County Washington State sent me to Harbor View hospital in Seattle. I can vaguely recall speaking to a nurse there in the emergency room. They sent me to the Bellevue hospital Overlake.

I might have that backwards. The Redmond police might have sent me by ambulance to Overlake and then they sent me to Harbor View and that makes more sense because Harbor View is inside the city of Seattle.

I feel certain I spoke to a Red Cross social worker while I was in the admitting area or the discharge area of Harbor View while in the city of Seattle and that woman is the one who got me into the Downtown Emergency Services Center and that is the entry pass card I still have and that is date stamped 6/11/2005.

From there I can recall stumbling around outside and I sat in a city park, the maps labels it Freeway Park, reading a book and munching on a bag of dry Froot Loops cereal another social worker had given me which I think was the day before I went to the Redmond police department.

So I am thinking now that I was waiting at that DESC building for more than one day because they set up an appointment for me to talk to someone at a Seattle hospital. I couldn't recall the name of that hospital as I started of to write here but I looked at the map and the location I remember walking to and I guess that was the Swedish Medical Center. I can recall going to a specific building and looking at the map I don't recall enough to find it again although I might find it because I can still vaguely visual details about the exterior surroundings.

I can recall walking there. Somehow I must, I guess, have had access to a computer and looked it up on a map. Uncertainty lingers in my whether that was in June 2005 I went to the Swedish Medical Center hospital in First Hill but I want to think that was the timeframe and not later after I was in the Compass Center on Washington Street next to the viaduct.

Yeah, I think that much have been June 2005 I was at the Swedish Medical Center hospital because I can vaguely recall the woman I was talking to had an ambulance come get me and I am thinking they took me to University of Washington Medical Center. I am very certain that day was 13 June 2005.

So I have been trying to think of any memory that might narrow down the specific day they literally killed me. At first I started to wonder if it was the first day. But I can recall vague details suggesting the transition of days and I have the certain sense they literally killed me dead after the last day I talked to that group of doctors. So that would suggest they killed me on the night of the 15th. Could have been after midnight making it the 16th.

I have written before about how I was transferred from University of Washington Medical Center to the mental health unit of the Veteran's Affairs hospital in downtown Seattle.

I wrote about how I spoke in a conference room at UWMC with a doctor who told me he was the guy in charge of both the UWMC and the VA hospital of how he told me I was "fortuitous", or whatever it was he said to me specifically, about the VA hospital and that was all because he was transferring me over there.

So I think I spoke to him on two consecutive mornings at UWMC. There was also that woman who I think was the primary psychiatrist assigned to me. I don't recall her name. She was the doctor I spoke with briefly in the hallway at the VA hospital. I was saying the same thing she was saying just at the same time she was speaking as we went our different ways.

What I have been trying to recall is any detail that might narrow down details about my emergence after they literally killed me dead at the University of Washington Medical Center in June 2005.

The first memory that came to mind is a vague memory of standing in a small room where they had a washing machine and a clothes dryer. I immediately began to wonder if I suddenly materialized standing there in that room a few hours later during, say, the 8 AM hour a few hours after they killed me.

I imagined they killed me literally dead and then hauled away my corpse - the corpse of Kerry Burgess 1994 - and then a few hours later I emerged as a normal human being with no knowledge that I was literally a dead man walking.

But then I started thinking that's inaccurate and what I am feeling confident of now is that all of that happened but in a different location there in the UWMC mental health unit and the location was that kitchen sink they had there in the common area. There was a camera in the ceiling in the corner to the right-hand side of the sink and I can recall standing there and, similar to the "foreign dreams" I was obsessed with in my writings back in 2006 I was standing there and I remember thinking, as I had before and after, that I was wondering if I could sense the thoughts in the physical human brains of other people.

So that would make sense I would materialize right there under that camera.

I'm thinking about all this because I have recently had a new sense of the profound about the state of my brain's physical memory.

I started thinking: Well, if they literally killed me dead in that University of Washington Medical Center hospital room in June 2005 then that explains a lot.

I have labored for almost the entire past decade under the notion that my physical memory was significantly altered sometime in the year 1998.

Now I am thinking that nothing changed about me in the year 1998.

The change, I am now thinking, happened only in the year 2005. I emerged from being literally killed dead and I emerged with the mind I have now sitting here at my desk writing this.

I think about how details can be altered individually, presumably, and I consider the lost of altered memory because a sense of perspective has been lost. A sense of perspective about being and then memory is lost because that perspective is lost.

So I am thinking more: Why does anything matter.

If I exist now as the Kerry Burgess that emerged in the year 2005 then why does anything matter about that past.

If they literally killed me dead back in the year 2005 then that is the Kerry Burgess from 1994.

Kerry Burgess 1994 emerged from Kerry Burgess 1989. Kerry Burgess 1989 was from Kerry Burgess 1965.

So now I am thinking there was nothing wrong with my physical memory in before the year 2005. The stuff I write about now in recent years was active in my conscious memory before June 2005, I am thinking now.

Now - NOW - there are other people out there who have the same questions as I and they have some kind of mental link with my physical brain and that is why they GOTS TO KNOW! what I am doing.



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 5:17 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Friday 14 November 2014