Monday, July 12, 2010

Scars




JOURNAL ARCHIVE:----- Original Message ----

From: Kerry Burgess

To: Kerry Burgess

Sent: Wednesday, May 17, 2006 6:25:22 PM

Subject: Re: Star Trek: TNG: First Contact, Nov. 22, 1996


I haven't been able to follow Battlestar Galactica this past year


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JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/10/09 11:17 PM
I think I have written more than once about the sense in my mind after I started being treated at the VA in the summer of 2005. I guess it could have started before but I tend to associate a specific sense in my mind with that period in the VA. I was pondering over it in great detail a few days or weeks ago before I watched "Mission To Mars" on television recently and I write of it now in that context of time because of certain details that I have noted for that film "Mission To Mars." As I was pondering again in great detail a few weeks ago I guess it was I was thinking about how after I started treatment at the VA I was seeing something when I closed my eyes that I thought of as the circuit patterns on printed electronic circuit boards. I mentioned it to my doctor at the VA but I cannot remember if I mentioned specifically what I was seeing. I remember him saying something but it was not anything specific that I can recall. I think it was just some off-hand remark similar to when I told the nurse that I wanted to take the medication in the different tablet form because the one type was a bitter pill and she said something about how she was sure it was. I cannot remember if I said specifically that it was a bitter pill to swallow but I think I used all those words to describe my distaste with that particular tablet. So anyway, when I was thinking about it again a few weeks ago I was pondering over what seemed to almost be images that were flashing before my closed eyes and it was similar to the green PCB's but there was some other color too that I cannot describe. I'll probably think of it later. So as I was thinking about it again recently I was thinking of how I would describe what I was seeing and I would describe it as though there was a printed circuit board that filled my vision but that board was covered by some kind of material that I would describe as a piece of black construction paper and it seemed that my vision with my eyes closed was that rectangular sheet of black construction paper. When I was in treatment at the VA I started seeing images in my mind that seemed to be of a narrow strip of that construction paper that was being peeled away and then I could that beneath that sheet of paper was the printed circuit board. The strip that was peeled away was very narrow and I would estimate that if my vision with closed eyes was the size of a regular sheet of paper then that strip that was peeled away in an uneven strip that was not very jagged but yet not parallel or even in any manner in its course through the sheet of paper was probably the width of a pencil which is a measurement I just now thought of.


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http://www.cswap.com/2005/Batman_Begins/cap/en/2_Parts/b/00_00

Batman Begins


:00:41
Would you like to see my mask?

:00:44
I use it in my experiments.

:00:48
Now, I'm probably not very frightening
to a guy like you.

:00:53
But these crazies, they can't stand it.

:00:56
So when did the nut
take over the nut house?

:00:59
[SCREAMING]

:01:00
SCARECROW:
They scream and they cry...

:01:03
...much as you're doing now.

:01:06
Well, he's not faking. Not that one.










http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abnormal_psychology

Abnormal psychology

Abnormal psychology is the scientific study of abnormal behavior in order to describe, predict, explain, and change abnormal patterns of functioning. Abnormal psychology in clinical psychology studies the nature of psychopathology, its causes, and its treatments. Of course, the definition of what constitutes 'abnormal' has varied across time and across cultures. Individuals also vary in what they regard as normal or abnormal behavior. In general, abnormal psychology can be described as an area of psychology that studies people who are consistently unable to adapt and function effectively in a variety of conditions. The four main contributing factors to how well an individual is able to adapt include their genetic makeup, physical condition, learning and reasoning, and socialization.




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychologist

Psychologist

"Psychologist" is an academic, occupational or professional title describing individuals who are either:

social scientists conducting research or teaching psychology in a college or university;

employed by the government in psychology positions;

professionals who apply psychological findings and ideas to "real-world" problems, questions and issues, most typically in health care services or in business and industry.

There are many different types of psychologists, as is reflected by the 56 different divisions of the American Psychological Association (the APA). Psychologists are generally described as being either "applied" or "research" oriented. This major division is also described as the difference between scientists and practitioners or scholars and professionals. The training models endorsed by the APA require that practitioners be trained as both scholars and professionals and to possess advanced degrees.

Most typically, people encounter psychologists and think of the discipline as involving the work of clinical or counseling psychologists, professionals who are concerned with helping people live healthy and productive lives - professionals who help people solve problems of living or resolve mental health problems. Although clinical psychology is a commonly identified professional role, it remains a subset of the field of psychology. Scholars and academicians (conducting research and teaching in universities) constitute a substantial and foundational position in the definition of a "psychologist."


Contrast with psychiatrist

In most western countries, including the U.S., licensed/registered psychologists hold a doctorate in their field, while licensed psychiatrists hold a medical degree with a specialty in psychiatry. Psychiatrists are physicians who have earned an MBBS/M.D. or a D.O. professional degree, whereas psychologists have earned a doctoral degree Ph.D., Psy.D., or Ed.D. Psychiatrists generally spend shorter periods of contact time with clients/patients, and the principal method of treatment is psychopharmacology. Conversely, clinical and counseling psychologists generally rely upon psychological assessment and the use of psychotherapy to relieve psychological distress. It is not uncommon for people suffering from mental illness to combine these services to maximize their impact. Medical psychologists in the U.S. military and two states (New Mexico and Louisiana) have prescription privileges, combining psychosocial and psychopharmacological interventions. Many psychologists conduct research-based, standardized cognitive and projective testing to guide the diagnosis of intellectual disabilities, behavioral/mood disorders, and personality disorders; these test results also inform treatment approaches. Administration and interpretation of the majority of these standardized test instruments require specialized Doctoral level training in psychology










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Fri, March 24, 2006 2:04:11 PM
Subject: Depression drugs


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11965822/

Antidepressants fail to cure the symptoms of major depression in half of all patients with the disease even if they receive the best possible care, according to a definitive government study released yesterday.

Significant numbers of patients continue to experience symptoms such as sadness, low energy and hopelessness after intensive treatment, even as about an equal number report an end to such problems -- a result that quickly lent itself to interpretations that the glass was either half empty or half full.

The $35 million taxpayer-funded study was the largest trial of its kind ever conducted. It provided what industry-sponsored trials have rarely captured: Rather than merely ask whether patients are getting better, the study asked what patients most care about -- whether depression can be made to disappear altogether.


[I figured out how to manage this problem on my own. Until all of you starting interfering. And I am certainly not going to start taking drugs just to cover up the effects of your deliberate torment. Just leave me the hell alone and let me get back to where I was going.]


"People who entered into this trial received a level of care which is quite different than many patients receive when they see a primary-care doc or even a psychiatrist," Insel said as he described what clinical facilities should aim for in terms of care. "This involved a depression-care specialist who made sure there was very careful monitoring of side effects and a relentless effort to optimize the dose.


[This is pretty much the kind of treatment I received in the VA and before that at UW Medical Center. I like my doctor at UW. I don't remember her name, but I saw her again at the VA. I always felt good around her. That must be a good quality in a doctor.]


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http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/battlestar

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA


http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/battlestar/season2/galactica-210.htm

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

2X10 - PEGASUS

Original Airdate (SciFi): 16-SEP-05


And she changed my life in a very real, very fundamental way in that I have quite literally never stopped thinking about her, because I love her. To this very day, I love her. And she looks exactly like you. My name is Gaius Baltar, and I'm here to help you.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/9/2006 1:53 PM
My doctor at the VA is not incompetent. He just is not law enforcement and doesn’t have the resources necessary to solve the actual problem that is agitating me. If the police would do their jobs and prosecute the people trying to terrorize me, such as Microsoft and Dave Reichert, then I wouldn’t even need a doctor from the VA


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http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/battlestar/season2/galactica-205.htm

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

2X05 - THE FARM

Original Airdate (SciFi): 12-AUG-05


Caprica - Hospital Room

Starbuck: How many patients do you have here?

Simon: Am I being interrogated again?

Starbuck: I just think it’s odd that I’ve been here for two days and I haven’t seen anybody else. Just you.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/13/07 3:08 AM
There seems to be something important about a dream I had a few hours earlier. I can't remember all the details to it now but it seems that I was actually thinking while I was sleeping about the dream I had earlier as I was sleeping. That makes me think I wanted to remember the dream when I woke up. Not sure how that works. Anyway, the operative detail about the dream seems to be that I was leaving a hospital where I had been a patient but I can't remember any details about being in there as a patient, which is puzzling me for reasons I can't articulate. So I was leaving and there were 2 people with me that I guess were taking me out of there. There was a doctor talking to me and perhaps another person with him. I found myself thinking about that doctor giving me a folder, apparently with information relevant to me, and that doctor refered to me as doctor, in terms of that also being my title.


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http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/battlestar

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA


http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/battlestar/season1/galactica-217.htm

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

2X17 - THE CAPTAIN'S HAND

Original Airdate (SciFi): 17/FEB/2006


Pegasus - PIlot's Quarters

Apollo: You've been on board less than four days, and you're already facing charges. You don't waste any time, do you?

Starbuck: Neither do you, Lee. How's it feel being Garner's new playmate?

Apollo: I'm here to do a job!

Starbuck: Yeah. Keep a loudmouth, disobedient frak of Kara Thrace in line. Not doing such a good job, are ya? Evidently not.

Apollo: We don't have much time. Those guys are running out of air.

Starbuck: Yeah, well, I tried. All right? All I have done since I got to the beast is try and help, and all I've gotten is Garner's foot in my ass.

Apollo: Well, maybe you need a kick in the ass!

Starbuck: All right. Here we go. Finally. What is your problem anyway?

Apollo: What's my problem? What's my problem? Well Kara, my problem is you. You keep frakking up, and I keep having to clean it up, and I am officially... sick of it.

Starbuck: Poor Lee, your life is so hard, isn't it?

Apollo: You mean, since I got shot.

Starbuck: You wanna hear what I think happened to Buster, or not?










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal June 15, 2006


IF I was in Sarajevo back in the early 90's


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JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal June 15, 2006


A few days ago I was wondering if I had been shot in the chest while wearing a bullet proof vest. That would explain a lot.


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JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sunday, August 26, 2007 Posted by H.V.O.M at 9:44 AM


I've had several dreams where something was wrong with my chest, as though I had a broken bone in my chest, a broken rib in my upper chest. In my dream, I can feel something is definitely out of place, although I don't remember any pain in the dream. This all might explain why I have puzzled over something about an area on my right pectoral, something just doesn't seem right, as though there is something wrong with one of the ribs there. There is nothing painful associated with this area, rather something just seems out of place. In the dream though, the area that seems out of place in a slightly different place, but in the same general area. I have also had vague thoughts that it was something that happened when I was in deep space in 1976.


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JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 27, 2006


One detail I do remember from my dreams last night was about bullet scars. I was pointing out three bullet scars on my upper left thigh. But I'm not sure what that means as I don't see any scars like that at that location. There are three scars that I think are bullet scars, but they are on my arms. One is midway along my left forearm and the other two are on my right forearm near my elbow. The left one is larger than the right ones and surely must have broke my arm. There are other scars on my arms too but I don't think they are bullet wounds, although I feel as though there are other old wounds that I can't see because they are obscured by hair. The scar on my right wrist, I believe, is a shrapnel wound. The scar on my left hand is from a power drill. I think I was shot in the back with a shotgun and I want to say that happened during the Panama invasion. There is a cut above my right eye that looks almost surgical in appearance and I am thinking it was from torture


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JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 27, 2006


There also seems to be something wrong with my upper right chest, as though I am missing a tendon or something. I tried changing my workout routine to fix it but never saw any results. I think I had a serious blow to the top of my head at some point, possibly a skull fracture as I have some vague memory about that


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