May 9th seems to be a divergence point in my journal. When I look back to my entries, I see that I am still perceiving the world through the eyes of Kerry Burgess. After May 9th, I am starting to question details about that identity. The first clue is when I started taking a closer look at all the places I lived during the 90's. I began to understand that I didn't actually live at those places, rather the addresses are symbolic of something else. My entire memory of Kerry Burgess's live is symbolic of Thomas Ray's life. Most of it is symbolism, some of it is there for continuity.
For instance, one of the clearest clues was where I remember living in 1990 after I remember leaving the Navy. I lived on a street named Wexford in a community named Taylors. Taylors was a familiar name because that was the name of my first ship, the USS Taylor. Then, around May 9th, a flash of inspiration hit me to look up the meaning behind the name of "Wexford." I knew even before I read the article that it had a special meaning. Wexford is the name of a town where John Barry was born. Barry is considered the father of the U.S. Navy.
Then it struck me again: D.D. and T.N. Those are the intials of my step-father and my mother. I have stopped believing they are real people. There may be actors who portrayed my family, but they are not really Denzil Draper and Thedia Newman. Anyway, I decided that the initials represent Defense Department and The Navy. I thought that was quite clever.
Then I clued in to something else. My paternal grandfather and his brother, Homer William Burgess. H.W. B. My first realization was that he represented George H. W. Bush, but I didn't understand why that was. So I thought more about the relationship I remember with Homer and it made sense. As I wrote earlier, I believe that Thomas Ray is the grandson of former president Ronald Reagan. For Kerry Burgess, Homer William Burgess is his father's fathers brother. I wrote it up in my journal as Reagan and Bush could be symbolized as brother's because they both had President at the end of their title, which was appended to their names, as in: Ronald Reagan, President and George Bush, Vice-President. And the story got even more clever. Homer William Burgess was not only my great-uncle, but he was also my maternal grandmothers second husband, so that made him my step-grandfather. That second family connection symbolizes that he was elected President in his own right after Reagan reached his term limit.
I wrote something in my journal on May 9th or maybe the day before that I think was the key to start unlocking all this symbolism. I'll write about that in a while.
