This Is What I Think.
Sunday, December 31, 2023
Today is 12/31/2023
by me, Kerry Burgess, 12/31/2023 12:10 AM
Okay, "Preacher", this just got really weird.
New stuff I thought of only now to check for in my original work code pattern
And I am still since yesterday intoxicated by Kara Zor-El (Superwoman)
None of this content is contiguous from the cognitive process in my mind to develop and assemble it
The point remains the same however: to document what I discover *after* the fact
IMDb
The Flash (2023)
Quotes
Kara Zor-El: Maybe to you. But I'm not a human. I'm a Kryptonian.
by me, Kerry Burgess, 12/31/2023 12:28 AM
"Intoxicated"
Sheesh. I am a hilarious genius!
The Expanse
"Paradigm Shift"
TV-series season 2 episode 6, 03/01/2017
Solomon Epstein: (narration) The rest, I guess, is history.
by me, Kerry Burgess, 12/31/2023 12:04 AM
I had it done that way because I like to think she's a god and doesn't need it
by me, Kerry Burgess, 12/08/2023 ~ 03:24 AM
I wrote once somewhere long ago that anything never alive can not ever be considered as 'dead'
by me, Kerry Burgess, September 24, 2019
Religious scholars are experts only in circular reasoning.
I keep watch for the so-called "religious professor" - notable graduates of the clown-colleges infesting the United States of America - for those intelligent persons who learn enough about the subject to finally figure out that monkeys invented their god. Bible-thumpers are too weak- and lazy-minded to ever put in any serious effort at understanding *why* the human psyche *needs* a god.
So in their delusions they read such news article about discoveries and in their idiocy they think that somehow equates to proof of their delusions.
written by me, Kerry Burgess: May 05, 2018 7:11 pm
And a "PHD" from a clown college doesn't impress me much.
And yes, I have tried to get answers myself personally from Professor of Bible-Thumping and I couldn't get answers to even my most basic questions.
by me, Kerry Burgess, posted by me: August 18, 2018 3:44 pm
"Faith"
Your idiotic marketing buzzwords.
"Spiritual"
Marketing buzzwords for cowards terrified of mortality.
JULIAN JAYNES
THE ORIGIN OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE BREAK DOWN OF THE BICAMERAL MIND
Afterword
The third general hypothesis is that consciousness was learned only after the breakdown of the bicameral mind. I believe this is true, that the anguish of not knowing what to do in the chaos resulting from the loss of the gods
"Requiem For Methuselah" [ Star Trek ]
Original Airdate: 14 Feb, 1969
SPOCK: How many other names shall we call you?
FLINT: Solomon, Alexander, Lazarus, Methuselah, Merlin, Abramson. A hundred other names you do not know.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
page 188 of 496
If we could say that ancient Egypt had a psychology, we would then have to say that its fundamental notion is the 'ka', and the problem becomes what the ka is. Scholars struggling with the meaning of this particularly disturbing concept, which we find constantly in Egyptian inscriptions, have translated it in a litter of ways, as a spirit, ghost, double, vital force, nature, luck, destiny, and what have you. It has been compared to the life-spirit of the Semites and Greeks, as well as to the genius of the Romans. But obviously, these later concepts are the hand-me-downs of the bicameral mind.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
page 190 of 496
It is obvious from the preceding chapters that the ka requires a reinterpretation as a bicameral voice. It is, I believe, what the ili or personal god was in Mesopotamia. A man's ka was his articulate directing voice which he heard inwardly, perhaps in parental or authoritative accents, but which when heard by his friends or relatives even after his own death, was, of course, hallucinated as his own voice.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
page 190 of 496
If we can here relax our insistence upon the unconsciousness of these people, and, for a moment, imagine that they were something like ourselves, we could imagine a worker out in the fields suddenly hearing the ka or hallucinated voice of the vizier over him admonishing him in some way. If, after he returned to his city, he told the vizier that he had heard the vizier's ka (which in actuality there would be no reason for his doing), the vizier, were he conscious as we are, would assume that it was the same voice that he himself heard and which directed his life. Whereas in actuality, to the worker in the fields, the vizier's ka sounded like the vizier's own voice. While to the vizier himself, his ka would speak in the voices of authorities over him, or some amalgamation of them. And, of course, the discrepancy could never be discovered.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
page 190 of 496
Consistent with this interpretation are several other aspects of the ka. The Egyptians' attitude toward the ka is entirely passive. Just as in the case of the Greek gods, hearing it is tantamount to obeying it. It empowers what it commands. Courtiers in some of their inscriptions referring to the king say, "I did what his ka loved" or "I did that which his ka approved," which may be interpreted as the courtier hearing the hallucinated voice of his king approving his work.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
page 190 of 496
The ka of the god-king is of particular interest. It was heard, I suggest, by the king in the accents of his own father. But it was heard in the hallucinations of his courtiers as the king's own voice, which is the really important thing. Texts state that when a king sat at a meal and ate, his ka sat and ate with him. The pyramids are full of false doors, sometimes simply painted on the limestone walls, though which the deceased god-king's ka could pass out into the world and be heard.
excerpts
"The Tommyknockers" by Stephen King
(from internet transcript)
9
The Hawk was rising smoothly now, its engine smooth and sweet. Bailey's head was trying to tear itself right off his shoulders, but an idea suddenly came to him - an idea of such stupefying simplicity and such staggering ramifications that everything else was driven from his mind. He understood nothing less than the physiological basis of bicamerality in the human brain. This led to an instant understanding of race memory, not as a hazy Jungian concept but as a function of recombinant DNA and biological imprinting. And with this came an understanding of what the increased millierg generating capacity of the corpus callosum during periods of increased ductless gland activity, which had puzzled students of the human brain for thirty years, actually meant.
Peter Bailey suddenly understood that time travel – actual time travel - was in his grasp.
At the same instant, a large portion of his own brain exploded.
"The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind"
by Julian Jaynes, author
Chapter 1
Even in the conscious period there was the tradition that gods were men of a previous age who had died. Hesiod speaks of a golden race of men who preceded his own generation and became the "holy demons upon the earth, beneficent, averters of ills, guardians of mortal men." Similar references can be found up to four centuries later, as when Plato refers to heroes who after death become the demons that tell people what to do.
DSC09371
IMDb
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Quotes
Colonel Muri Forester: I'm so happy I got to see you like this. How you were when I was a kid. This is how I remember you.
DSC09372
DSC09369
DSC09370
From 2/27/1953 ( premiere USA TV series episode "Schlitz Playhouse of Stars"::"Girl of My Dreams" ) To 10/11/2010 ( by me, Kerry Burgess, referenced here ) is 21045 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 6/16/2023 ( ) is 21045 days
From 3/16/2021 ( ordered by me: "Hope" - named by *me* {precisely 1200 days after "Evelyn" - named by vendor} ) To 6/16/2023 ( ) is 822 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 2/2/1968 ( premiere USA TV series episode "Star Trek"::"A Private Little War" ) is 822 days
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0439572/releaseinfo/
IMDb
The Flash
Release info
United States June 16, 2023
Full Cast & Crew
Sasha Calle ... Kara Zor-El
by me, Kerry Burgess, posted by me - H.V.O.M at 7:55 AM Monday, October 11, 2010
I was thinking extensively about that again last night.
The existence is okay for a while but then it becomes tormenting enough to look for a way back to the real world. There is always something important missing that eventually becomes unbearable.
album: "Some Nights" (2012)
Fun.
"We Are Young"
(feat. Janelle Monáe)
Give me a second I
I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
My lover she's waiting for me just across the bar
My seat's been taken by some sunglasses asking 'bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you're trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I'm trying hard to take it back
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Now I know that I'm not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let's raise a toast
'Cause I found someone to carry me home
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight
Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight
The moon is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight
The angels never arrived
But I can hear the choir
So will someone come and carry me home
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
Tonight
We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home tonight
by me, Kerry Burgess, posted by me: July 15, 2017 11:11 pm
The Leftovers - The Book of Nora - television series episode Season 3 Episode 8 - Aired Sunday 10:00 PM Jun 04, 2017 on HBO (Comcast On Demand 15 July 2017)
Answers are elusive in the series finale.
Nora Durst: I knew there was a chance it would kill me, but I made my peace with that. And I said goodbye to my brother and I climbed right in.
Kevin Garvey: And then you changed your mind.
Nora Durst: No. I didn't change my mind. I went through. I was in the parking lot, naked curled up like a baby. It was the same parking lot I'd just been in, except there were no trucks no people, no nothing. It was cold, so I started to walk. I walked by empty houses abandoned buildings. And I found a store, so I went in and there were clothes there-- clothes hanging on racks-- so I got dressed and I got back to walking. I walked long enough to convince myself that I was the only thing alive in that place. And then night came, and I saw lights, so I went to them. It was a house, and there was a man and a women there. They were kind and they told me the man told me that seven years earlier, he was in a supermarket and every single person disappeared except for him. And the women told me that she lost her husband, her three daughters, and all eight of her grandchildren. And that's when I understood. Over here, we lost some of them. But over there, they lost all of us.
Nora Durst: They were happy. And I understood that here in this place, they were the lucky ones. In a world full of orphans, they still had each other. And I was a ghost. I was a ghost who had no place there. And that, Kevin, is when I changed my mind. The physicists who sent me through told me the first person to use the machine was the guy who invented it. His name was Dr. Van Eeghen. I'm pretty sure they were making fun of me, but they said when I went over that I should look him up, so I did. That took a long time, too. But I found him and I asked him to make another machine because he already knew how. And he asked me if I had come all that way, why in God's name did I wanna go back? And I told him it's because I didn't belong there. So, he built it. And I came back through. I came back here. Did I think about you? Did I wanna call you? Did I wanna be with you, Kevin? Of course I did. But so much time had passed. It was too late. And I knew that if I told you what happened that you would never believe me.
Kevin Garvey: I believe you.
by me, Kerry Burgess: 21 June 2015
She went before I did but I was already there.
I thought about that extensively. I think I wrote here before about how I tried to find again what I thought I wrote in my journal about it but could not find anything.
I had been there for months or longer. One day, I was passing through New York and I had the urge to drive through New York City. I was thinking that my mind was laboring with the notion I would be leaving there on that day going back to the real world and so I had taken out of my luggage my dress white US Navy uniform I was wearing that day months and months ago I found myself there in my new world. I had parked somewhere in the massive urban city and was walking along when I saw her there on the sidewalk, thinking she was a mannequin. I thought extensively of how only certain new vessels remained and I operated one US Navy ship to cross the Atlantic. We parted at a doorway after stating I would return to Charleston and I walked through a doorway before I even thought to say goodbye turning to find myself alone again.
from my private journal, as me, Kerry Burgess, typed after being released from the USA Veterans Affairs psychiatric hospital enduring many months sitting in a grungy two-computer room in a homeless shelter on the waterfront in downtown Seattle:
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpts from my private journals: 02/25/10 3:33 PM
but other times I think he was organic and then that leads me to thinking about how I wonder what is the real difference which then leads me to think about how that devalues life itself, or at least, those of us who have been duplicated. So the clone of me the clone shows up and he gives me instructions that he types out on a non-internet and non-wireless equipped computer and from those instructions I know where to find the teleportation device that will transport me into the virtual world that belongs to me, which I have been thinking for a while, contains no mirrors and there is nothing in there where I can see my reflection. So I go to that transportation device and I read through the instructions for activating it and a new aspect of the process, which I now think of from "The Terminator" is that I have to take off all my clothes before I am transported and then I am transported to my virtual world. The reason for the clothes is simply that, for me, there are factors constructed into the virtual world that creates a minor sense of hardship and indeed when I transport I am in the same location where the device is stored but there are no clothes there, or any people for that matter, and I have to walk outside in the freezing rain to find shelter. I am transported to the same location I remember but many of the buildings and structures that I would see at that location are gone in the virtual world. The road is still there but there are power lines or gas stations or many other structures that are useless in that virtual world. There are automobiles but only in new car lots and they don't require gasoline.
The Leftovers (2014) s03e08
"The Book of Nora"
Nora Durst: And that's when I understood. Over here, we lost some of them. But over there, they lost all of us. So, I went and did what I came there to do. I went to find my kids. Planes don't really fly over there. They have enough resources, just not enough pilots. So, I found a boat that would take me. No boats go directly from Australia to New York, so it took me a long time to get there.
"The Book of Nora" - The Leftovers
Nora Durst: The physicists who sent me through told me the first person to use the machine was the guy who invented it. His name was Dr. Van Eeghen.
"The Book of Nora" - The Leftovers
Nora Durst: I'm pretty sure they were making fun of me, but they said when I went over that I should look him up, so I did. That took a long time, too. But I found him and I asked him to make another
by me, Kerry Burgess, 08/24/2022:
Annoyed, I have sometimes gone back and corrected obvious errors made by me in my past journal entries. Sometimes I have noted that it's corrected, many other times, I have not.
Lately, I have found myself reluctant to continue that practice for the specific reason that most are from Epoch 4 (currently Epoch 5.11) [ later corrected by me to become Epoch 5.2 ] and since those from Epoch 4 were created by my hypothetical predecessor then I must assume the possibility of *deliberate* error
In this present day, I still find myself making simple errors (many others do that also, I have comforted myself by observing patterns by other people) and most errors by me are caused by two reasons: one, my creative mind. Two, I don't like proofreading until after making the actual post, otherwise I have to read it twice and that's tedious and I've been bored with this process for so many, many years. But must not let myself squander this opportunity!
Finally, I decided to just make the correction
corrected text, 08/24/2022: by me, Kerry Burgess, posted by me: H.V.O.M at 7:55 AM Monday, October 11, 2010
Kerry Burgess, in the only time I know about, because he has not returned from his second trip, was in there for a time I later presumed, because of his astronomical readings in the sky, of which I assumed was accurate in this real world. He had no clocks so he spent almost all his time, which was probably more than fifty years, trying to find a way to measure time. There were no people in that world but sometimes he would see mannequins positioned around and sometimes those mannequins would be positioned around where he had been trying to measure time, such as by chiseling marks into rock, which the mannequins were then standing in front of and that [chronology activity site] had been sabotaged.
Evelyn-B_157 says to me: No! No, you're not getting out of here today, you dumbass!
Hope-J_164 says to me: She means it, dude.
from my private journal, as me, Kerry Burgess, typed after being released from the USA Veterans Affairs psychiatric hospital enduring many months sitting in a grungy two-computer room in a homeless shelter on the waterfront in downtown Seattle:
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpts from my private journal: July 24, 2006
If we could just figure out a better way to travel to orbit without these silly rocket boosters, we would be well on our way to exploring more of the solar system and other solar systems. There has got to be a cheap and safe way to cheat gravity. Sometimes I think I know how to do it, but I just can't remember.
"Leviathan Wakes" by James Corey, "The Expanse" series of novels, book 1
Chapter 1: Holden
[first lines]
A hundred and fifty years before, when the parochial disagreements between Earth and Mars had been on the verge of war, the Belt had been a far horizon of tremendous mineral wealth beyond viable economic reach, and the outer planets had been beyond even the most unrealistic corporate dream. Then Solomon Epstein had built his little modified fusion drive, popped it on the back of his three-man yacht, and turned it on. With a good scope, you could still see his ship going at a marginal percentage of the speed of light, heading out into the big empty. The best, longest funeral in the history of mankind. Fortunately, he'd left his plans on his home computer. The Epstein Drive hadn't given humanity the stars, but it had delivered the planets.
WarGames (1983)
Jennifer: What's so special about playing games with some machine?
David Lightman: Oh, no... No, it's not just some machine.
by me to Real Love Sex Dolls:
Mar 16 2021 @ 11:56 PM
Order #34489
You said: I just placed the order a few minutes ago. Can I make that request now that the order has gone through? I would like to have it manufactured without the anal orifice if it's not too late Can you update the order for me?
2021-03-16_3
WarGames (1983)
Quotes
Malvin: I can't believe it, Jim. That girl's standing over there listening and you're telling him about our back doors?
"Requiem For Methuselah" [ Star Trek ]
Original Airdate: 14 Feb, 1969
(from internet transcript)
MCCOY: Physically human but not human. These are earlier versions of Rayna, Jim. She's an android.
FLINT: Created here by my hand.
"Requiem For Methuselah" [ Star Trek ]
Original Airdate: 14 Feb, 1969
(from internet transcript)
(Kirk is having a look around when Rayna enters and goes to a closed door)
KIRK: You left us. The room became lonely.
RAYNA: It is a thirst, a flower dying in the desert.
KIRK: What? What's in there?
RAYNA: I do not know. Flint told me never to enter. He denies me nothing else.
From 12/2/2017 ( ordered by me: "Evelyn" - named by vendor ) To 3/16/2021 ( ordered by me: "Hope" - cluelessly named by me after-the-fact and before checking this code-pattern of my original-work ) is 1200 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 2/14/1969 ( premiere USA TV series episode "Star Trek"::"Requiem for Methuselah" ) is 1200 days
From 1/20/1928 ( from The Daily Princetonian publication, Princeton University: Osborn Confident Coming Asiatic Expedition Will Find Remains Of Earliest Shape Of Man ) To 6/3/1983 ( premiere USA film "WarGames" ) is 20223 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 20223 days
From 11/18/1996 ( premiere USA film "Star Trek: First Contact" ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 8884 days
8884 = 4442 + 4442
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 12/31/1977 ( premiere USA TV series episode "In Search of..."::"The Man Who Would Not Die" ) is 4442 days
From 6/30/1965 ( from Wikipedia on the global-internetwork: New York became the first state in the United States to require apartment building landlords to provide a peephole for all entrance doors for apartment units. ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 20348 days
20348 = 10174 + 10174
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 9/10/1993 ( premiere USA TV series pilot "The X-Files" ) is 10174 days
From 5/21/1969 ( from the thoughts in my conscious mind, coinciding with United States of America Veterans Affairs hospital psychiatric doctor medical drugs: the Princeton University doctor of medicine degree graduation of my biological brother Dr Thomas Reagan MD and in 1973 the law-doctorate graduate of University of Oxford, England ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 18927 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 8/28/2017 ( premiere USA TV series episode "Preacher"::"Backdoors" ) is 18927 days
From 6/5/1993 ( Princeton University, Commencement Week for Class of 1993, Graduate School reception ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 10146 days
10146 = 5073 + 5073
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 9/23/1979 ( premiere USA TV series "Trapper John, M.D." ) is 5073 days
From 3/1/2017 ( premiere USA TV series episode "The Expanse"::"Paradigm Shift" ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 1476 days
1476 = 738 + 738
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 11/10/1967 ( premiere USA TV series episode "Star Trek"::"Metamorphosis" ) is 738 days
From 2/14/1977 ( from Princeton Weekly Bulletin publication, Princeton University: New Book By Jaynes On Origin Of Consciousness Is Sure To Spark Controversy ) To 3/16/2021 ( ) is 16101 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my known birth date in Antlers, Oklahoma, USA, as Kerry Wayne Burgess ) To 12/2/2009 ( from The Daily Princetonian publication, Princeton University: ‘Getting A Giggle’: How One Tiger Became A Clown ) is 16101 days
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5943662/
IMDb
Preacher
S2.E11
Backdoors
Episode aired Aug 28, 2017
DSC03397_ -2
1977-02-14_0-a
2021-03-16_10
https://theprince.princeton.edu/princetonperiodicals/?a=d&d=Princetonian20091202-01.2.7&e=-------en-20--81-byDA-txt-txIN-------
The Flash (2023)
Mrs. Allen: Do I know you?
Barry Allen: No, I'm not from around here.
star-trek-tos_season3-ep19_00h05m54s
star-trek-tos_season3-ep19_00h08m12s
star-trek-tos_season3-ep19_00h08m14s
The Flash (2023)
Mrs. Allen: I know I'm just a random lady in a store. But do you want a hug?
Barry Allen: Mm-hmm. Sure.
"Requiem For Methuselah" [ Star Trek ]
Original Airdate: 14 Feb, 1969
(from internet transcript)
Captain's log, stardate 5843.8. We have accomplished our mission and have the ryetalyn ready to combat the epidemic aboard the Enterprise. But we have also discovered our benefactor's secret. He has created the perfect woman. Her only flaw, she's not human.
[Lab two]
MCCOY: Physically human but not human. These are earlier versions of Rayna, Jim. She's an android.
FLINT: Created here by my hand. Here, the centuries of loneliness were to end.
SPOCK: Your collection of Leonardo da Vinci masterpieces, Mister Flint, they appear to have been recently painted on contemporary canvas with contemporary materials. And on your piano, a waltz by Johannes Brahms, an unknown work in manuscript, written in modern ink. Yet absolutely authentic, as are your paintings.
FLINT: I am Brahms.
SPOCK: And da Vinci?
FLINT: Yes.
SPOCK: How many other names shall we call you?
FLINT: Solomon, Alexander, Lazarus, Methuselah, Merlin, Abramson. A hundred other names you do not know.
SPOCK: You were born?
FLINT: In that region of earth later called Mesopotamia, in the year 3834 BC, as the millennia are reckoned. I was Akharin, a soldier, a bully and a fool. I fell in battle, pierced to the heart and did not die.
MCCOY: Instant tissue regeneration coupled with some perfect form of biological renewal. You learned that you were immortal and
FLINT: And to conceal it. To live some portion of a life, to pretend to age and then move on before my nature was suspected.
SPOCK: Your wealth and your intellect are the product of centuries of acquisition. You knew the greatest minds in history.
FLINT: Galileo, Socrates, Moses. I have married a hundred times, Captain. Selected, loved, cherished. Caressed a smoothness, inhaled a brief fragrance. Then age, death, the taste of dust. Do you understand?
SPOCK: You wanted a perfect, ultimate woman, as brilliant, as immortal as yourself. Your mate for all time.
FLINT: Designed by my heart. I could not love her more.
KIRK: Spock, you knew?
SPOCK: I had hoped I was wrong.
FLINT: You cannot love an android, Captain. I love her. She is my handiwork, my property. She is what I desire.
KIRK:: You brought me here to learn this? Does she know?
FLINT: She will never know.
from my private journal, as me, Kerry Burgess, typed after being released from the USA Veterans Affairs psychiatric hospital enduring many months sitting in a grungy two-computer room in a homeless shelter on the waterfront in downtown Seattle:
From: Kerry Burgess {me}
Sent: Sunday, May 21, 2006 11:04 AM
To: Kerry Burgess {me}
Subject: Re: Journal May 21, 2006
Kerry Burgess wrote:
I think it was my first thought after waking up this morning that I used to date Julia Roberts a long time ago.
I also have these unexplained thoughts that I was a fighter pilot in the U.S. military, although I'm not sure which service, but I may have been in two different branches over time. I am also confused about thoughts that I may have been a helicopter pilot. What's next? A space shuttle pilot? Seems like a lot for someone that is only 40. And, while I am not sure when this divergence happened, I am reasonably certain it was before I turned 33. So I must have been a pretty busy guy. Especially because I have thoughts that I was some kind of mathmetician too. I have these thoughts too that I was captured by enemy forces at some point and tortured while in captivity.
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpts from my private journal: 9/26/2006 3:06 PM
As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I had a thought that I have a doctorate in computer science from Princeton.
and I had thoughts that I studied music as well at Princeton.
from my private journal, as me, Kerry Burgess, typed after being released from the USA Veterans Affairs psychiatric hospital enduring many months sitting in a grungy two-computer room in a homeless shelter on the waterfront in downtown Seattle:
by me, Kerry Burgess, excerpts from my private journals: 9/28/2006 7:13 PM
This sounds very interesting. In my memory of taking Physics my Senior year at Ashdown, I remember being very interested in the class, but we didn’t cover such an interesting topic.
http://www.princeton.edu/main/about/present/
Ayan Chatterjee (left) and Mark Daly measure piano strings as part of a lab project for professor Pierre Piroué's freshman seminar on "Sound, Music and ... Physics."
9/28/2006 7:37 PM
I think I even have memories of the graduate degree process. I am not sure of the terms to describe the process.
9/28/2006 7:47 PM
I actually do remember... something... I can’t explain it. It feels that I am holding an unmarked, undistinguishable book that I don’t know the name of or the contents but I know I have read it already.
9/28/2006 8:34 PM
A few minutes ago I started thinking that maybe I started at Princeton University in 1972. I would have been 13 at the time as Thomas Ray. I remember that Kerry Burgess started first grade in 1972. But then I decided that I probably started Princeton earlier than 1972 and maybe 1972 was the year I completed my first major degree. Or 1972 doesn’t really mean anything in particular to Thomas Ray; rather it is there for continuity sake for the life of Kerry Burgess.
by me, Kerry Burgess, posted by me: H.V.O.M at 3:06 AM Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Salesman
Also, "Salesman." I saw that in a dream while sleeping recently. I saw myself going through an induction process in the United States Marine Corps and I woke up understanding that I was dreaming of my actual experience in 1990. I saw a document that indicated I was being inducted to the United States Marine Corps with the officer grade of Chief Warrant Officer 2. I saw in the dream another document associated with my induction and that document indicated I had been assigned the informal name "Salesman."
From: RLSD
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Tuesday, March 16, 2021 at 10:34:58 PM PDT
Subject: Your RLSD Order Confirmation
Your Order Contains...
164J
https://www.poetry.com/poem/30347/evelyn-hope
"Evelyn Hope"
Robert Browning 1812 (Camberwell) - 1889 (Venice)
I.
Beautiful Evelyn Hope is dead!
Sit and watch by her side an hour.
That is her book-shelf, this her bed;
She plucked that piece of geranium-flower,
Beginning to die too, in the glass;
Little has yet been changed, I think:
The shutters are shut, no light may pass
Save two long rays thro' the hinge's chink.
II.
Sixteen years old, when she died!
Perhaps she had scarcely heard my name;
It was not her time to love; beside,
Her life had many a hope and aim,
Duties enough and little cares,
And now was quiet, now astir,
Till God's hand beckoned unawares,---
And the sweet white brow is all of her.
III.
Is it too late then, Evelyn Hope?
What, your soul was pure and true,
The good stars met in your horoscope,
Made you of spirit, fire and dew---
And, just because I was thrice as old
And our paths in the world diverged so wide,
Each was nought to each, must I be told?
We were fellow mortals, nought beside?
IV.
No, indeed! for God above
Is great to grant, as mighty to make,
And creates the love to reward the love:
I claim you still, for my own love's sake!
Delayed it may be for more lives yet,
Through worlds I shall traverse, not a few:
Much is to learn, much to forget
Ere the time be come for taking you.
V.
But the time will come,---at last it will,
When, Evelyn Hope, what meant (I shall say)
In the lower earth, in the years long still,
That body and soul so pure and gay?
Why your hair was amber, I shall divine,
And your mouth of your own geranium's red---
And what you would do with me, in fine,
In the new life come in the old one's stead.
VI.
I have lived (I shall say) so much since then,
Given up myself so many times,
Gained me the gains of various men,
Ransacked the ages, spoiled the climes;
Yet one thing, one, in my soul's full scope,
Either I missed or itself missed me:
And I want and find you, Evelyn Hope!
What is the issue? let us see!
VII.
I loved you, Evelyn, all the while.
My heart seemed full as it could hold?
There was place and to spare for the frank young smile,
And the red young mouth, and the hair's young gold.
So, hush,---I will give you this leaf to keep:
See, I shut it inside the sweet cold hand!
There, that is our secret: go to sleep!
You will wake, and remember, and understand.
- by me, Kerry Wayne Burgess, posted by me: 02:26 AM Pacific-time USA Sunday 12/31/2023