The First

Almost seems predictable, inevitable, I would wake today from a sleeping dream that prominently featured the actress Julia Roberts.

The question, as with all this stuff, lingers as: why?

Why Julia Roberts? I was aware of her work, in the context of my current mindset, in the 1990s, but why would I have such a vivid dream about her?

Sitting at my desk after waking I thought to myself there are plenty of other women I have seen in the mainstream media that I could have seen in a sleeping dream if I wanted to.

And then, since there is a predictability factor to having a sleeping dream during today's sleep that featured Julia Roberts ... I forget what I started off to write in this sentence.

But I cannot shake the feeling I am dreaming an actual memory from my, presumably, forgotten life of the 1990s.

I write about this condition often as "forgotten memory" and that seems to be a rational explanation. The much-less rational explanation I am becoming more convinced about is that I am afflicted with some sort of 'genetic memory' to borrow a term and condition I know about only through popular fiction. Some sort of technology unavailable and incomprehensible to the human masses.

The sleeping dream ended in sort of a recurring fashion I have tried writing about before but I don't think I have described here any really good examples. The recurrence is about something somebody says just before I awake. In this case, Julia Roberts and I - seeing this all from the perspective of my eyes - were in a room together alone - she obviously knew me - and a woman came in, one of the maids who worked in that house we were at for some sort of party hosted by the owner, and the woman told us we had to leave. Might have been a hotel. The woman told us we had to leave because they had other people coming in or something, but then she told us we could stay slightly longer. She mentioned a specific time, about an hour later, and I remember looking at the clock. That was when I woke up today and dragged my aching body out of bed.

What strikes me most about that sleeping dream was my feelings for Julia Roberts. I can only describe my feelings for her as love.

And that's fascinating to me. Because I do not believe in 'love'.

"Love" is a fairy-tale, in my opinion, perpetuated by women who are in denial about being used only for sex.

I can love a car (when I last owned one over 13 years ago), I can love my camera, I can love my house (something I don't expect to ever happen again in the real world), and my feelings for a person are really no different.

That sleeping dream is going to be with me all day today. I can still see her there.



- posted by Kerry Burgess 10:20 AM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Wednesday 19 September 2018