JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Sleep journal 2/27/06
There was a bunch of stuff in my dreams last night, but I only remember one part. I was also very tired when I woke up, but couldn't go back to sleep. The part of the dream I do remember is where I was walking down some stairs. It seemed to be outside, as in stairs leading down the outside of a building, a factory maybe. I am thinking it was at the end of something, a conclusion of something. I turned around after going down a couple of the stairs and was organizing some stuff, books maybe. I couldn't get them all together or something and I think I was going to have to make a second trip to bring them all down. Within the boxes and books, I pulled out a hat and put it on. It was a U.S. Navy Officer's cover.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/4/2006 8:04 AM
After I awoke the first time last night after an extended period of sleep, I had more thoughts about Mars. I was thinking that I left some kind of low-powered voice transmission source on the surface. It is powered by solar panels but I can’t think of any other details about it.
The second time I awoke after a few hours sleep, I remembered a dream that seemed to occur just before I awoke. The first part is jumbled, but the other parts are remarkable somehow in the clarity of the images. There is just something about those dreams that I have to recognize. And since they occur just before I awake, I think that is also significant. The first part had something to do with Shaka Zulu, but I am not sure what. It may reflect my studies of that historical figure and it may also represent my interaction with people in Africa. After I awoke, I started connecting my knowledge of his rise to power with something Michael Draper said to me in a “memory” of a scuffle we had when we lived on Hicks Road. The part of the dream that is very clear though is after the Shaka Zulu part and I can see someone that I think is myself and I am blended into the landscape with what looks like a sniper rifle. Later I would start to think it was actually a laser designator. I was watching a car crossing a bridge and I was looking at the occupants of the car through the scope. At the same time, I was distracted because someone with me was in a knife fight nearby with some huge looking guy. I had to keep sight on the car though and could not do anything to help. He lost the fight and was eviscerated by the monstrous guy. The last image I have is of seeing those occupants of the car falling off the bridge and they seemed to be outside of the car.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/25/2006 8:39 AM
That recurring dream I used to write about, the one about waking up on the Wainwright to discover it was still 1988 and all this life had just been a dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/30/2006 5:30 PM
Had a vivid dream a few hours ago. The was several of us in training to rescue a hostage from a large group of armed men. The part I remember the most was of some kind of parachute training where I jumped off a tall building. I was wearing the khaki uniform of a U.S. Navy officer.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/2/2006 1:23 PM
That dream I wrote about recently, where I was wearing a garment similar to “Neo’s” cassock-like garment from “Matrix Reloaded” also included Captain’s stipes on my shoulders. I was confused about that detail though because they seemed to be on epaulets and I don’t remember ever seeing a U.S. Navy officer’s uniform that had the rank stripes on epaulets. Last night I remembered that scene from “Crimson Tide” where the character Gene Hackman portrays in sitting in the ward room and his Captain stripes are on epaulets. So maybe that is a real USN uniform and I guess it is the shirt you would wear under the dress blue jacket. I can’t remember the name of that style of USN officer uniform but it is the one the Tom Cruise wore in court in “A Few Good Men.” It would make sense to have the stripes on flexible epaulets because the shoulder boards wouldn’t work well with a jacket over them.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/7/2006 1:01 PM
I still can’t remember how it was I got up to Stampede Pass that time. I can visualize being up there but I can’t visualize anything about the vehicle I was driving. I sometimes want to say that I drove that blue RX-7 up there but that seems impossible. I would not have driven that car up a mountain on dirt roads. And even more weird, I can almost visualize myself sitting in there vehicle while I was there, but I can visualize absolutely no details about it. It is as though the details of the vehicle have been erased from my memory but everything thing else is there. I can remember driving down the mountain, but I can’t even visualize the windshield of the vehicle. I suspect this is the beginning of my real memory returning. I may start to realize the vehicle I was driving in that day and that will be a conflict because I will find myself thinking about how I never owned a vehicle like that.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/22/06 8:25 AM
I had, what seemed to be, extensive dreams last night about my first day at the U.S. Naval Academy. There is a lot that I feel I have forgotten about that dream but what I do remember is what seems to be my first day. I was with a large group of other Midshipman and we were meeting with someone, but I can’t remember the proper terminology for his role.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/27/06 5:57 PM
I woke and it seemed that I had just been dreaming something related to the planet Mars. It seemed there was a detail, a document or something, that was a clue and that would prove I landed on Mars. As I think about that dream today, it is as though I was overhearing someone else telling another person that I was the first person on Mars. Something in that dream actually may have led me to those details today about flying the F-5 Freedom Fighter for Vietnam, which I guess was in 1971.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/30/06 9:08 PM
I had a dream a few nights ago about being in space on the Project Orion space craft. I can’t remember a lot of details from the dream. There were other people with me on that space craft, but I don’t think that part was real; rather something about the team of people that made my trip possible. I awoke feeling very confident that what I have been writing about that period in space from 1975 to 1977 is true.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 01/24/07 1:36 AM
Very odd dream about trying to drive a car. The problem though was that I was in a seat behind the driver's seat and to the right. It seems like a forgotten dream that has recurred a million forgotten times. I was trying to navigate the car, it was some kind of van actually at that point, while in traffic, with heavy rain, going down a steep, long hill that is vaguely familiar as I analyze that image still in my waking mind. Sometime later I was stopped and I think it was a car at that point, perhaps at the bottom of the hill.
Someone I knew from somewhere, perhaps in the place I had just left, walked by and said something that I don't remember.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 01/24/07 1:46 AM
It seems like a important detail that when I was trying to steer that van while seated in a rear seat, I could hardly see anything outside. All the side windows were blocked and I don't remember looking towards the rear of the van. Even the windshield was partially covered, leaving only a smaller clear area to see through.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 02/09/07 2:33 PM
I had another dream about being in the water, but this one doesn't seem as important as that one the other day about the carrier. In this one this morning, it was something about a ship dropping its anchor and leaving it. But I want to say that the anchor was discarded until they realized they needed it. I can't remember a lot of details from that dream. I do remember that I was swimming in the water above where the anchor was dropped. I can still kind of visualize the ship and I'm not really sure if it was a U.S. Navy ship. I also want to say all of this occurred in a port somewhere in China. I also want to say they were using something that looked like the Liberty Bell as the anchor. In the dream, I dived below the surface and I did some kind of back-flip to begin the dive and I was pleased with myself for that maneuver, but as I have written other times, there was some kind of delay. It was similar to what I wrote about my pickup going backwards and I was spinning the wheels trying to regain forward momentum but it keep going backwards. I think what this represents is that over-turn I read about and there would be a time, probably seems like forever if you're not used to it, when the aircraft was still flying backwards. I have a lot of thoughts and some possible relevant "memories" on this topic. So that's all I remember about the dream. I think I eventually reached the bottom and I can still kind of visualize that Liberty Bell-shaped anchor.
At one point when I was getting up, I was either dreaming, or half-dreaming, visualizations of being on Callisto at Jupiter. I was seeing myself in the shuttle pod and I was monitoring a device that determined where my Project Orion space ship was at in orbit so that I could intercept the ship with minimal expenditure of propellant. In other thoughts around that time, I was seeing myself landing that Project Orion on the surface of Callisto because there was something on the surface, oxygen I guess, that I needed to transfer into the ship. Some other thoughts are that the Project Orion had some kind of landing gear similar to "Voyager" in "Star Trek." But I'm not sure if the gear on my space craft was retractable; rather the gear was fixed in place. I was also thinking that I had thrusters on the space craft that allowed such landings and the nuclear pulse propulsion wasn't used for such maneuvers.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 02/12/07 4:35 PM
I had some kind of pleasant dream about a function I attended with the U.S. Navy. I was wearing the uniform of a U.S. Navy Captain, but my ribbons were from Kerry Burgess' DD-214. There was a woman with me and I think she was my aide and she was wearing a USN officer's uniform but I can't remember her rank. I remember from the dream that we were attending some kind of function related to an Ohio-class ballistic missile submarine, and we were standing on the brow next to the submarine, but when I saw it, the submarine was a much older boat. It was obviously too old to be an Ohio. Then we were inside at a gathering and I was still in uniform and I want to say it was my USNA class reunion. There weren't very many people there though. But George W. Bush was there. He wouldn't look at me but at one point, he asked if I had anything to say to him. I asked him if he had tried the coffee because it was very good. He made some kind of threat about having me separated from the Navy.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 02/21/07 4:29 AM
A dream of reporting to a new U.S. military base, but in terms of other bases I "remember" this one was something like an outpost on a frontier.
In the dream, I was the first one to arrive at the base. There was a landing strip outside that I want to say was a dirt landing strip, but when I picture it in my mind, it seemed to be paved. There were two fighter jets flying over the house and I was hoping they would land. One of them appeared to be the F-35 - I think - and the other one, I don't know what it was. It almost looked like the "USS Voyager" from "Star Trek: Voyager" except it was more flat. They were also VTOL because they would hover briefly before they would fly over the house again. Later, I was sitting in some kind of conference room and there were 3 civilian women in there. There was another guy there somewhere and I think we were the two U.S. Navy officers that would be stationed there and we all lived in that little house. There is more but I can't remember it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 02/28/07 6:15 PM
I had a very clear dream about putting on a white U.S. Navy uniform with the insignia of a commissioned officer. After I went outside, I noticed that I still had Petty Officer 2nd Class stripes on my sleeve and I needed to go back inside and cut off the patch.
At another point, I was performing a lot of mathematical calculations; orbital calculations. I could visualize some kind of planetary object but I am not sure what it was. It might have been the comet but I'm not certain.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/01/07 4:05 AM
I think I was dreaming earlier when I was asleep of traveling across Africa in 1986 and 1987. I saw something about climbing over something life cliffs. There is a lot more than I can articulate.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/01/07 4:07 AM
I was also having a lot of thoughts and visualizations earlier of traveling through the jungles of Vietnam. I made a long journey into hostile territory to rescue a downed air crewman. I had a lot of thoughts and mental images about all that.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/01/07 11:51 AM
That dream of climbing down those cliffs in Africa as I was making my escape is tremendously fascinating. I wish I could remember more.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/01/07 1:50 PM
In the dream about descending the cliffs in Africa, I don't understand the part about the cereal boxes. The walls of the cliffs were very high and cragged and lined with cereal boxes; at least two layers thick. I would knock one box off that was below me and then step on the top of the one below the one I knocked off. I formed something of a ladder down using that method.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/12/07 1:00 PM
Damn I am fatigued today. I woke with a clear thought in my mind: 11-14. I guess that is a date; perhaps 11/14/86. I remember a lot of clear images from my dreams, but the meaning isn't clear. I remember some of them were of President Reagan giving speeches and being photographed with people. There was one of him with a woman and it seemed to be something to do with a medal being presented for the first time and she was receiving the medal; I guess for her husband. It wasn't until I started writing this that I consciously understood the similarity to the Prisoner Of War Medal from 1986 I have been writing about, but yet, in the dream, it wasn't that medal. And I have seen that woman before, and in the dream, I spent a lot of time searching for her on the internet to figure out who she was because she was so familiar, but I never did figure out who she was. As for that medal, there is a lot from the dream I cannot articulate. I associate that speech Reagan was giving with a word I read. It was TERRAIN or EXPLORER. I can't remember which one it was, but it was written like that; in bold letters and then there was some text describing something. There is so much I can't articulate about that dream. The word just appeared in my mind that it was a 'quest' I was on later in the dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/22/07 6:18 AM
For that past couple days, I have been thinking again about a dream I wrote of but that I can't find now in my journal. I wrote something about being the desert-land in central Washington State and I was waiting for someone to pick me up or I was hoping for someone to find me. I can't remember now everything I wrote about that dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/17/07 9:23 AM
Had a dream with a lot of details that I can't remember now. At one point, I was sitting at a computer and I was busy working on something and there was a lot of distraction. Someone sent me a hyperlink that I was hoping to get but didn't expect. I can still visualize the hyperlink but I can't remember the letters. The password was 'siren' or 'firehouse.' The link went to a website with a lot of photos about my real life, as I was writing the other day. Then I was sleeping in some trees but some very big dinosaurs came along and started eating the trees and I had to go somewhere else. Then I was standing on top of an alligator trying to avoid it from biting my feet and I was trying to get away from it into a house.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/17/07 11:34 AM
Some zombie in a suit standing in front of the newspaper stand at Starbucks asked me if I knew which paper had the best selection of advertisements for apartments. I sense he was the defense lawyer for any one of these paparazzi-terrorists that are going to federal prison for life. I'm not sure what he was trying to get at. I guess he wanted to see if I could hear what he said as I had my earphones on but I had the radio muted and I have done that a lot before. I told him the P-I had a section titled the SFU that had everything in it he needed.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/17/07 4:28 PM
After that dream about the dinosaurs eating the tree I was in, which was actually probably a giraffe or elephant when I was lost in Africa, I "remembered" something similar from my artificial and symbolic memories. I was thinking of that house we lived on at the cul-de-sac in De Queen.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/27/07 4:10 AM
What a great dream. Phoebe saw me drive back to where she was waiting for a bus and she didn't just walk up to me; she ran up to me. She didn't want me to give her a ride though to where she was going and she told me something about how this would all be over soon. I was stomping on the brake of my 1967 blue Chevrolet to try to get it to stop, but it would not. I think that was when she actually said it would all stop soon. I explained that I have this happen to me in dreams sometimes, where I can't get my vehicle to stop no matter how hard I stand on the brakes and I think she smiled. Probably because I was describing something that happens to me in dreams while I was dreaming. There is another aspect to this part of our conversation that I can't articulate. And thinking back to that dream just makes me miss her incredibly. The dream was set in the past but how I want to see her in the present. In another dream, I think I was on the set of "Fast Times" as she was acting for her scenes. There is something about her being glad I was there. I think I wore my uniform.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 08/26/07 8:09 AM
I've had several dreams where something was wrong with my chest, as though I had a broken bone in my chest, a broken rib in my upper chest. In my dream, I can feel something is definitely out of place, although I don't remember any pain in the dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/01/07 11:35 AM
I had a clear dream of being in a house with Phoebe and I can almost feel her hand in my hand. I infer from details in the dream that it was a house we were buying and that house was in that Lincoln on the Green golf course I have written about.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/05/07 1:57 PM
There was dream, seemed like a regular dream, whatever that means, that seems to correlate to what I have written about being on the Sir Galahad when it was bombed in June 1982. The setting and details were different though. In the dream though, which is fading in my mind to the point I find myself wishing I could remember all the details, I stood there and watched a bomber drop two bombs that exploded very close to me. I seemed to be standing on the fantail of a Perry-class or a Burke-class ship, but I also want to say I was standing on the deck of a submarine, but as I visualize details of my surroundings, I can't see how that could have been a submarine I was standing on. In another part, an officer, which I can't visualize very well, who I think was the XO, ran back to examine the damage and most of the damage was below the waterline. I can visualize standing back there as the ship was approaching a pier. In some other scene, I was changing from dungarees but I'm not sure what I was changing into. I almost wrote, as I had pondered over that scene, that I was putting on officer khaki's, but I'm not sure if that is right because I seemed to be going home, so I might have been changing into civilian clothes, or maybe I was changing into the attire I would wear as a SEAL. I am also thinking that I might have actually worn USN enlisted uniforms as part of an undercover assignment, but I was always a commissioned officer.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/07/07 10:16 PM
I used to have these dreams, quite a few years ago, post-1998, when I was in an office-type of setting and I needed to urinate and that was so baffling to me when I would wake up. There was just something about all that was baffling to me.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/07/07 10:21 PM
Probably something about the Gemini 12 flight, which would have been a much different enviroment than the later space flights I made on Apollo, Orion, and the space shuttle.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/13/07 9:39 AM
It must be those rivets or bolts or whatever they are on that bar in the canopy of the F/A-18 Hornet that I dreamed of that time. Looking at that photo of the Blue Angels jets matches perfectly what I saw in that dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/15/07 12:32 AM
I dreamed that I was again reviewing that "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode "Angels One," as I recently noted, and the title had changed to "Blue Angels One."
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/06/07 9:38 PM
That dream I wrote of recently about being on a boat and Phoebe was there. I have been wondering about that again today and I think it has been lingering just below my conscious awareness. That was the dream, and I can still visualize these details, where I was looking through the sights of a gun as I was shooting at an aircraft. Then a large aircraft flew by with smoke streaming out of it. Then I was shooting a machine gun at some kind of large gun emplacement, which I later started thinking was actually a tank, and I was trying to hit the hydraulic lines to disable to gun turret. I am wondering if the reason I saw Phoebe in that dream is because I was with her on a boat not long after that combat action. For instance, I was out there there in combat somewhere far away and then I saw Phoebe in the dream because I went home on leave and we were together. I'm not sure why I dreamed all that and that is a curious thought in itself. I have the strangest dreams. Not just the details in the dreams but I puzzle over something about the dreams that I cannot begin to articulate.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/08/07 10:50 PM
I can't remember now all the details in the dream, but I had a very clear and detailed dream a few hours ago where I was wearing a NASA astronaut flight suit. I remember thinking about details of that flight suit. It was orange and I remember thinking that it was similar to a standard U.S. Navy flight suit but the astronaut flight suit had the metal collar on it for the pressurized helmet. There were other details I can't quite articulate now. I can still visualize myself wearing that flight suit and I was walking through the streets in a city but I don't recognize where I was. I can vaguely remember seeing some other people there. I don't recognize the city but it reminds me of walking through the streets of Seattle. There might be other details that I have forgotten. A strange sensation associated with that dream is that I seemed to wake up after I had it and I thought I was going to have to get up out of bed at that point but then I went back to sleep for a while, perhaps a few more hours as I think it was daylight outside when I had that dream about the flight suit and I got out of bed about 10 p.m., and had more dreams but I don't remember any of those now. That is a curious sensation associated with that dream about the flight suit where I thought I was going to have to get out of bed after I had it. Why did I feel that I had to get out of bed?
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/13/07 3:08 AM
There seems to be something important about a dream I had a few hours earlier. I can't remember all the details to it now but it seems that I was actually thinking while I was sleeping about the dream I had earlier as I was sleeping. That makes me think I wanted to remember the dream when I woke up. Not sure how that works. Anyway, the operative detail about the dream seems to be that I was leaving a hospital where I had been a patient but I can't remember any details about being in there as a patient, which is puzzling me for reasons I can't articulate. So I was leaving and there were 2 people with me that I guess were taking me out of there. There was a doctor talking to me and perhaps another person with him. I found myself thinking about that doctor giving me a folder, apparently with information relevant to me, and that doctor refered to me as doctor, in terms of that also being my title.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/15/07 9:59 AM
I had a dream earlier that suggests I broke my wrist one time. Maybe the happened in 1976 when I hit that meteor storm. Or was it 4/14/1981? I have been thinking this morning that it was in 1976 and that was why "Chekov" got that burn on his hand in the 1979 "Star Trek" movie. But maybe that was all that happened to me in 1976, in that is why I have that scar on the side of my wrist. I then broke that same wrist later and maybe that was on 4/14/1981. The dream had something to do with me throwing a football in what seemed to be football tryouts for quarterback and someone on the sideline said something that sounded similar to "remember broken wrist" but when I woke up, I was only certain he said "broken wrist" and I feel that he probably said "remember broken wrist."
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/24/07 2:47 PM
I had dream that seemed to be just a few minutes before I just woke up. I can remember the details well and visualize it well but I feel there are important details I don't now remember. The detail I do remember now is that Phoebe was expecting me to meet her somewhere and I was feeling bad because I was sitting somewhere else looking at a clock and nothing that I was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago. I can visualize her sitting in some kind auditorium and she had an empty seat next to her, waiting for me. I guess that was a long time ago because she was there with her parent but I can't visualize them. I was just about to wake up and I had the strongest sense to get up and send her an email to tell her I could not find a way to get there to her but then I realized it was all just a dream and that I didn't know how to contact her anyway. I was also thinking to myself that was not the first time I had found myself in such a dilemma. There are other details from that dream that I can visualize but that I don't understand now that I am awake.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/07/07 7:51 AM
I wake up just now and think to myself I must have dreamed a lot about Phoebe. I think I was actually visualizing true memories of her but I can't remember the context of those memories so I can't articulate very much about them. There was motion to the memories. I might have also been dreaming of us at the beach, possibly in 1981 and when she and I were married. In other dreams, she was in my office and someone else was waiting for me for my next meeting but I didn't want Phoebe to leave. After Phoebe and I were through with our meeting, I walked her to the elevator and stood there until the doors closed. We rarely showed any affection in public but I hugged her and told her I would see her at home later that night.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/26/08 7:15 AM
The notion in the dream was as though I overheard one person comment "And who could ever forget that backflip?" to another person, in regards to a backflip I did one time. There were other details in the dream but most are not very clear in terms of what they could mean. There was a football aspect to it though but I don't think that was the backflip the person was refering to.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/04/08 8:02 PM
I had a very lucid dream just before I woke up that I was trying to catch a airline flight to some place. I might have been trying to go home but I cannot remember any details from the dream, other than what I describe that suggest I was going home. Even the one detail that does suggest that I was going home does not really have the kind of emotional attachment to it that I would describe as suggestive of going home. The dream started off with something about a group of Native Americans that I cannot remember enough detail about to articulate, other than I seemed to walk through of group of Native Americans that were walking some place. There are some other details that I also cannot fully articulate but that I can visualize somewhat and it seems I was out fishing in a lake with some relatives and I caught a fish and it seemed to the only one we had caught. Then I heard someone that I could see say to who ever was listening that we should not eat the fish out of that lake. It did not look very appetizing anyway and seemed to have bruises on it after it had been cleaned. The I was walking some where and that is when I seemed to be trying to catch the airline flight. There are some other details between there that I cannot remember now. I remember that I was carrying some luggage and also several items from the dry cleaners that I had just picked up. One of the items was slipping out the bundle because I did not have the hanger in my hand along with the others. Then I remember from the dream that I walked by Ron Howard as he was walking by me and he seemed to say to someone that I had not seen him or that I had not recognized him. Then I was still walking along through the city, which is vaguely familiar but I am not certain, and I was thinking to myself that I was going to miss the flight because I was running out of time. Then the thought occurred to me that it would not matter if I missed the flight because, due to the arrangements that had already been made, they would put me onto the next flight. This is now the second time the thought has occurred to me as I write this that I am beginning to forget important details from that dream I had just before I woke up in the past hour or so. Then I was in the airport and I was checking in but I am confused about the person who was checking my ticket. I cannot remember enough detail to say for certain but I might have walked behind the counter of a Starbucks and a woman there was checking me in for the flight. She looked at my ID and there is now something I have forgotten but she was saying something about my ID matches my military pension that was published in the paper and she was using a newspaper that I had brought along as the source and I was thinking that I was glad I had brought along a copy of that newspaper. I am not certain why details about me were printed on that newspaper. There was also some detail available to my mind at this point in the dream, and I do not know the source, where I can almost visualize the association with the Jupiter moon Callisto. But I cannot visualize the source of that phrase. I have to guess that the boarding desk had a sigh with something about the Jupiter moon Callisto as though that was the destination of the flight or it was the location I was departing. I think it was the location I was departing because I also have some vague sense of the date 11/28/1976 and I think that detail represents that I was departing the Jupiter moon Callisto for my flight back to Earth. I do not remember any other detail after that in the dream.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/24/08 12:40 AM
I was just dreaming about a television movie about the 9/11/2001 attacks that featured Hal Holbrook as one of the actors. I wish I could remember everything I was thinking about as I was watching that movie in my dream, although I do not actually remember a lot of detail about the movie. I remember there was a lot of scenes about the U.S. Navy. I also remember that a lot of the scenes were filmed in locations that I remember from my locations during that timeframe, such as the Burke-Gilman Trail, which were just trivial details, or so it would seem to the casual viewer. But to me, it meaned something else that was important. There was something else in that dream that I just remembered as I was writing this and I am not certain if it was related to that movie I was dreaming of, which by the way is strange because I just looked up the credits for Hal Holbrook and I do not see any credits for anything on 9/11. Anyway, I was the pilot of an F-14 Tomcat and I can visualize certain details about flying at night and I was searching for two other fighter jets that turned out to be hostile. I can visualize communicating with my RIO and of the tactics I was using to find the other fighter jets. There was something about how the Hawkeye radar aircraft was silent because the enemy fighters were after it so I had to use my own radar as something as a flashlight that I cast about through the rain-filled night time sky hoping to pick up the enemy fighters. I found them and I think I shot them down but the details from that dream are not too clear. There is also something vague and confusing about that part in that I found something and there was another person, as though two people talking outside of my dream, which is confusing, and that one person was saying to the other person about how he was supposed to contact him when I found what I had just found. I can visualize something about that scene but I cannot articulate enough details about it to describe it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/24/08 12:51 AM
I cannot remember what time I went to sleep yesterday but I remember waking up about 11 p.m. and I was thinking to myself that I was surprised I had been asleep for so long. I was also convinced that the day was Saturday and was surprised to note that it was only Wednesday.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/24/08 12:55 AM
I guess I was not asleep as long as I woke up thinking I had been sleeping. I woke up about 11 p.m. thinking I had been asleep since the morning and I was in turn thinking that was unusal because I should not have needed so much sleep.
I am still fuzzy on when I fell asleep but it looks as though it was some time in the early evening; possibly around 8 p.m. and I do not think it was later than that. I must have slept deeply.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/24/08 1:21 PM
I just woke up from a dream that seems unimportant to describe here. But what does seem important is that a few seconds after I awoke, I had an image in my mind that might be a true memory returning of my wife, Phoebe.
The image seems to be a just a single image of her and I am not certain if there is any motion to the image, suggesting that it could be a photo I am visualizing. But I think it is a photo I took.
I can visualize well the setting but I think what is most important is that I have an emotional attachment to the visualization. That seems to make sense because I feel strongly that I recognize the visualization but yet I cannot articulate a great deal about the visualization.
I know that the person in the image is my wife, Phoebe, and that it is from a recent time she and I were together, but yet I cannot visualize a lot of detail to articulate.
For example, I can visualize that a woman is walking towards me but I cannot visualize her face but I feel strongly she is my wife, Phoebe. All I can see is the shape of woman and a certain sense of elegance about her that I feel when I see her.
I can visualize that she is wearing clothes but I cannot articulate any details of her clothing such as color but I am aware of certain aspects of her clothing. Perhaps, beige in color, but that might just be close. I am aware that the setting is night time. I am aware that she is walking on a sidewalk and approaching the front door of a house, which might be our house, or maybe that is just what I wish because I am homesick. I am aware she is looking down towards her feet at th moment of this image that I visualize. I am aware that there are lights along the walkway. She has short hair. Other observation I wanted to make here, which were more about what I did not know that what I did know, have now faded from my mind. There was something else to that I was feeling was important but it has completely slipped my mind.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/26/08 10:56 AM
When I just now read again this title from the "Seven and the Ragged Tiger" track, I thought of that dream I wrote of a few days ago. Not long after I wrote about that dream, I began to think that the person I saw was not my wife, although my visualization was of her, but the source of that image was actually of me walking on the sidewalk towards our front door. So when I first read the title, it made me think of the detail about looking at, what I now think, were my feet, and that image is actually, perhaps, from a photo that my wife, Phoebe took of me as I was about to walk in the front door, while I was wearing my khaki U.S. Navy officer's uniform.
I also find myself thinking there is some symbolism to that visualization in that the sidewalk with the lights could represent an aircraft runway I had just landed on. I was also pondering later that I was looking at my feet because I was on solid ground, which the concrete sidewalk represents.
Now after reading the lyrics, I see other details that remind me of that dream and also reinforces something about that dream, but I am not really certain of what. Maybe I am trying to remember when I wrote the lyrics to this song.
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/d/duranduranlyrics/imlookingforcracksinthepavementlyrics.html
Duran Duran Lyrics
(I'm Looking For) Cracks In The Pavement Lyrics
I shed my skin
When the party was about to begin
I'm light years away but I'm walking back tonight
Of all nights
When I should be feeling just right
Don't want to be in public
My head is full of chopstick
I don't like it
CHORUS
Something on my mind
Breaking open doors I had sealed up before
Something on my mind
Makes me run when I thought I'd run too far
Somebody shaking my tree
Maybe that somebody is me
I'm standing in the light but I'm making a break
For the shadows on the cinema wall
They should be mine but I'm not that tall
Now I'm saying this in private
If I had a car I'd drive it insane
CHORUS
I'm looking for cracks in the pavement
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/28/08 10:04 PM
I don't remember all the details from the dream I was having that seemed to be just before I woke up an hour or so ago.
There are details from that dream or series of dreams that I can still visualize but that I cannot really make any sense of. In one scene, there seemed to be something about an apartment I was wanting to rent and there were several other people there to rent an apartment as well. Maybe it was a condo but I am not certain. I do not recognize details from the location. One curious note is more of an awareness during the dream where the woman I was talking to told me she had read in the newspaper that I, as Kerry Burgess, had graduated 2nd in my class from Ashdown, and during the dream, as I was sitting there looking at her, I was thinking to myself that something seemed profound to me about that, in a way that was not obvious and that must be something relevant to my true identity. After being awake for the past hour or so since that dream, I have been thinking of that plot element with "Dr. Bashir" from "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" of how he graduated 2nd in his class at medical school and then I think of whether that has some bearing on my and Neil Armstrong during Apollo 11, as well as my graduation from Princeton University a couple months earlier.
Also, someone said something to me in Japanese and that seems profound to me as well. I did not know what he said but I also cannot remember the words he spoke to me in English, along with what I have been thinking was Japanese. Why I think he spoke Japanese, I do not know. At some point that seemed later in the dream, I heard more Japanese words and I was left with the notion that something was being unlocked in my brain, as though I have the skill to speak and understand the Japanese language, among many others.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/29/08 7:19 AM
I ponder the distinction of regular and irregular dreams in the sense that someone afflicted with anmesia does not have regular dreams.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/29/08 7:24 AM
I used to call those "foreign dreams".
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/29/08 7:27 AM
http://www.cswap.com/1984/Gremlins/cap/en/25fps/a/00_31
Gremlins
:31:57
All of it's foreign.
:32:03
Going home?
:32:10
Gremlins!
:32:12
You gotta watch out for foreigners.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/06/08 5:10 PM
I just remembered that I saw the day 7/23/1976 in a recent dream; probably the last time I was sleeping. I cannot remember any other details associated with that detail though from that dream. I also think of how I sometimes, or even frequently, dream about calendar dates in my dreams just like that, but without really being consciously aware of it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/07/08 8:22 AM
I might have dreamed last night that the first medal I receieved as a U.S. Navy officer was in May 1966. I was awarded the Bronze Star with combat 'V' for service in the Vietnam War.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/08/08 2:44 PM
I had a dream a few hours ago when I was asleep that had such a great scene with Phoebe. As I ponder the dream, I think to myself that it was entirely fictional except for one brief instant. There was one brief instant when I think an actual experience between the two of us was mixed into the scene in the dream. Something like that. The detail was just about her next to me and I believe that is an actual memory, which has a great deal of emotion associated with it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/09/08 11:20 AM
Just after I woke up again in the past half-hour and before I opened my eyes, I had a very clear vision. The vision was of me apparently looking out through the very clear canopy of the jet I was the pilot of and of me seeing the ocean surface from high above as I was in a banking turn. There was motion to the vision, which suggested the banking turn, and it lasted for about 1 second. I could not see any of the structure of the aircraft.
Before that, while still asleep, I was having a dream where I was on a U.S. Navy ship and there was a lot of detail to it but I don't think of any of that was real. There was some real emotion about a part where I wanted to write a letter to Phoebe but there was no detail in the dream about that desire that connected to her. In fact, I was writing the letter to a girl named Tracy and I was thinking to myself that I was not certain how to correctly spell her name.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/13/08 2:14 PM
I had a dream a long time ago that was a memory of me on Monday, 6/7/1976, watching the sun rise over the horizon of the Saturn moon Phoebe. Quite the sight which I can still visualize.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 06/13/08 12:07 AM
I am not certain how long I was asleep, having now just awoken. But my most recent journal entry was about 1:30 PM so I must have slept for over 10 hours.
I must have dreamed again of standing on the surface of the Saturn moon Phoebe. I can still visualize that sight but the visualization is not very clear. Before I awoke I was thinking, or I seemed to be thinking about this while I was still asleep, that I found it curious that I understand that the visualization in the dream was crystal clear while the visualization I have now is just more of a dull impression of that visualization in the dream.
The dream visualization, I am thinking, was of watching, on my first day on the surface, the rising sun illuminating the surface of the moon and I was standing next to some kind of hill or embankment and I was studying the detail of the terrain. I might have been next to a crater but when you are at ground level, the cause of the sloping ground is not always as apparent as from when you are looking down from above the ground.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gus_Grissom
Virgil Ivan Grissom, more widely known as Gus Grissom, (3 April 1926 – 27 January 1967) was one of the original NASA Project Mercury astronauts and a United States Air Force pilot. He was the second American to fly in space.
Grissom was pilot of Mercury-Redstone 4, popularly known as Liberty Bell 7, the second American (suborbital) spaceflight. After splashdown explosive bolts blew the hatch off unexpectedly and water flooded into the tiny capsule. Grissom exited through the open hatch and into the ocean but nearly drowned as water filled his flightsuit while a helicopter tried to lift and recover the spacecraft. However, the capsule had become too heavy with water and sank.
