I had never even heard of that title until I just happened to notice the DVD on the shelf in the grocery store a few days ago.
Oh, God. I think as I am watching it just now that my recent dreams foreshadow what I am now seeing on the DVD.
And I must resist.
But what am I resisting????!!!
Am I resisting, for the sake of my sanity, what I write about now?
I resisted not writing about that dream that I awoke from and got out of bed and that I thought about as I sat down at my desk and I thought about how it was perhaps not the most vivid dream I have had but it was still pretty vivid.
I feel this great compulsion in my mind, until now, to not write about it.
I thought about the dream because I was driving a moving van and I thought about how the moving van was similar in a color scheme to a Ryder moving truck, familiar to many people here in the United States, but in the dream I had gotten out of the truck and I was standing there and I was thinking about how the size of the truck I had rented was so small that I doubt even the meager possessions I have here in this apartment now would fit into that van, much less the fact that I had arrived at Jennifer's apartment and I was getting her belongings because we were moving in together someplace else.
I was standing out there and I was aware of a parking lot that wasn't really visible in the dream but there was a lot of trees visible. I also did not know which of the four buildings in that apartment complex that Jennifer actually lived in.
I was standing beside the moving truck and I was next to one of the buildings and I was aware there was a church service in progress inside and I briefly glanced through the window and I could see people inside. A woman and another woman walked outside after that and I remember the one woman looking at me as she walked by.
I was waiting there for Jennifer but some details of the dream are gone now from my mind. I remember thinking again later, after being awake, that except for the color scheme, the moving truck actually resembled the helicopter hangar deck of that Ticonderoga-class guided-missile cruiser of the United States Navy that I referenced later. I didn't think about that until waking up and during the dream, I was looking at what after waking would be the weatherdecks on either side of the hangar. I went inside the moving truck cargo section and there was more than enough room then. But then it was as though the moving truck had been converted into a recreational vehicle. I was standing in there and thinking about how I would move all the stuff in there for transport but already in there was a bed in the center of of the cargo section and I saw a console television set on the floor that I turned on but then I turned off because I wasn't certain where the power was coming from and I didn't want to drain the battery for the engine. I noticed other stuff in there too.
I don't remember much else after that. Writing this all now this all seems pointless now.
But an important point that lingers is that I don't now what to believe. If I feel compelled to not record some details, such as thoughts, but especially certain dreams when I am sleeping and then awake from then - what?
Yes, that's it. Manipulation. My mind is being manipulated somehow. But how do I know that even now I am not being manipulated?
I was not surprised in the past few minutes that the CERN project is associated with that date. For the first time in months and months, just in the past few days, did I start to think consciously about looking over that collider project again. I had no idea that I would now make these associations here but yet in recent days, probably about the time I purchased that DVD in the grocery store, has the notion of the collider project become part of my conscious mind. Nothing else has come up that could have made me start thinking about that CERN project.
2008 DVD "The Lazarus Project" video:
00:42:22
Avery: This bus is not for you, Ben. You don't wanna be on it. You need to let go. Stop thinking about what you had. Just accept what you were given. A new home, a job. A chance to make what you did right.
Ben Garvey: I have to be with my wife and my daughter. They need me.
Avery: Ben, look at me. Death is here. Close to you. It's what you hear in the forest when you're all alone. Now, you cheated him once. You won't cheat him a second time. This bus won't take you home. Stay on it and you'll never see your family again. Make the right choice while you still can.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464041/releaseinfo
IMDb
The Internet Movie Database
Release dates for
The Lazarus Project (2008)
Country Date
USA 21 October 2008 (DVD premiere)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464041/plotsummary
IMDb
The Internet Movie Database
Plot Summary for
The Lazarus Project (2008)
In Dallas, Texas, the family man Ben Garvey is on probation but he is a hard worker of the Fort Garry Brewery Company and lives a simple life with his beloved wife Lisa and their daughter Katie. When his probation period finishes, Ben's brother Rick visits him after being released from prison and invites Ben to heist 12 kg of gold in dust from a laboratory. Ben refuses the invitation but he is fired from his job because of his record; he decides to join Ricky and his partner Phelps in the robbery. However things go wrong and Ricky, Phelps and a security guard die in the heist and Ben is sentenced to death for the murders. After his execution through lethal injection, Ben awakes working as housekeeper of the Monte Angel community in Dundee, Oregon, for Father Ezra, who explains to him that his past life is gone and now he is having a second chance. However he should never cross the boundaries of the location, otherwise he would die. Ben feels confused with the weird situation but he can not forget Lisa and Katie and forces Ezra to give a plausible explanation to him. But while working in the garden, Ben finds a frisby on the grass; he investigates and discloses the secret of the facility.
http://www.tv.com/the-rookies/jefferson-my-name-on-a-plaque/episode/1239357/summary.html
tv.com
The Rookies
Season 1, Episode 1
Jefferson: My Name On A Plaque
Air Date
Tuesday October 21, 2008
Rookie Josh Norris aspires to one day become Deputy of the Month, but first he must get through his field training while patrolling one of the worst drug neighborhoods in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008
2008
October 21 – The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is officially inaugurated.
http://press.web.cern.ch/press/PressReleases/Releases2008/PR16.08E.html
CERN
Press Release
CERN inaugurates the LHC
Geneva, 21 October 2008. Swiss President Pascal Couchepin and French Prime Minister François Fillon were joined at CERN1 today by science ministers from CERN’s Member States and around the world to inaugurate the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest and most complex scientific instrument.
“Today is a day for CERN to thank its Member States for their continued support for basic science, and for providing the stable framework that makes science of this kind possible,” said CERN Director General Robert Aymar. “It is also a day for CERN and the global particle physics community to take a sense of pride in the achievement of bringing this unique facility from dream to reality, a process that has taken over two decades of careful planning, prototyping and construction, culminating with the successful circulation of the machine’s first protons in front of a global audience on 10 September this year.”
