I can recall watching that episode on television because I remember how much I enjoyed that song they performed on the episode that night. The song about floating. I must have moved to that apartment in Kent Washington State around that time and I am certain I was there already.
I don't know what the hell I am doing. I can't go back anymore. I can't go forward. I can deal with the probability that I am just spinning my wheels and that I have no control over the future but damnit there has got to be something I can do. I can't stay here the way things are. Something has got to change. There is really no solution though. The only solution, though, is the solution where I begin to time-travel. That is the only single ultimate possible way for me to regain some freedom in my life.
And I can't begin to time-travel of my own initiative because then that will make me the CAUSE of the evil that gains power from my use of my power. There is some kind of balancing force, beyond the acts of evil deliberately staged by man, that happens when I use my ability to time-travel, which I have never done. I don't even actually possess yet the capability to time-travel. That so-called "balanced force" I describe is a two-way street. If the evil force initiates the process, whatever that is, then and only then do I gain the capability to bug out of here.
I just don't understand why I have to stay here and wait for it.
I still don't understand why.
I cannot even grasp what it is I wanted to write about here. Something else that my mind wants to - something.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/08/07 1:29 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Saturday_Night_Live_hosts_and_musical_guests
570
November 13, 2004
Liam Neeson
Modest Mouse
[ JOURNAL ARCHIVE 08 May 2007 excerpt ends ]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Posted by H.V.O.M at 7:55 PM Thursday, December 08, 2011
The Mall
Watching in recent hours this evening the DVD for the 1994 television miniseries Stephen King's "The Stand," as I didn't make it all the way through the first DVD of the two-disc set, I have watched some scenes this evening that remind me of a dream I had in recent weeks. I don't recall the precise day I had that dream but it wasn't long ago and I have thought about it several times since then and I can still visualize certain scenes in it and I have kept thinking to myself that the dream was important and that the details I saw in that dream were important and somehow relevant to the real world. So I am watching tonight the scenes at their campsite next to the streams and that reminded me of that dream in certain regards and then I saw "Mother Abagail" laughing with delight as she ran a remote-controlled lawn mower across her yard in Boulder Colorado and that reminded me of my dream and so finally I decided to stop and make this note at the point where "Mother Abagail" is praying to God right around the time the power station is being brought back online and unless I am too much mistaken, having paused the DVD at this point, where she takes off into the night and everyone begins searching for her.
What that part makes me think about is how in that dream, I am thinking about as I write these paragraphs, for the first time I can ever recall I actually had a vivid dream where I was talking in person to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the person I was talking to, I was very certain in the dream, was literally Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
I can still remember that I had brought to her a couple of items and I was feeling apologetic because I had not included those items, and this part has always been vague, in some kind of report. But what is not vague is that I saw a brief smile from her, which I thought of because I might have been feeling apologetic perhaps for overlooking something earlier, which was the reason I was talking to her again and with those two items in hands, one of which was a pair of wire cutters and the other was a non-conductive tool that I remember from using to adjust certain variable electronic components as potentiometers and similar items that are soldered to printed circuit boards, and so apparently those two items were part of a collection that was being put together and I came back to her and told her we needed to add those items to the collection. Reinforcing the notion that we were all moving somewhere, which is vague now in sequence because I cannot recall which happened first, is the scene with the lawn mower. But I wasn't using a lawn mower but I was using a device for trimming grass. I think the actual product name is Weed Eater. Similar to 'Jet Ski' I think that product name has become synonymous with products that fulfill a similar purpose. So anyway, at some point in the dream and the sequence of events in the dream is now lost in my mind, or maybe not, I had arrived at a place where two streams converged and that place seemed to be a destination. There might have been people there already but I keep wanting to say that I was part of a group that was moving to that location and that was someplace uninhabited. I saw the streams converging and one stream was smaller and it looked kind of polluted. I was left with the sense that it was not really an ideal place to go to. I did see some signs of civilization there such as next to the stream was paved roads and I could see the metal shoulder barriers of the road. There was high weeds on the banks of the streams and I was using a weed trimmer to cut it down but I stopped perhaps half way through. Other people were around but that is vague. A scene that seems important and that I have thought about several times is that at some point I was on top of a boat that had a white cover over it and I think the boat was on a trailer and I could see myself as I adjusted cargo straps that stretched over the white cover of that boat and somewhere below a woman was looking up at me as I was on top of the boat and she was speaking to me and I cannot recall now, if I ever did, what she said but I do recall that I asked her why she was telling me any of the information she was telling me and I think I responded to her that she needed to tell the police what she was saying. I don't recall anything else about that dream, although there are some other details that don't seem important to note here.
I do not recall now precisely when I had that dream but I think that was right around the time I was having those dreams during that period when I wrote about that dream where I was standing at the ATM at the Southcenter Mall and the police car drove up and I thought the reason it was there was so I could here the message being broadcast over the police radio circuits.
I have also been thinking about how I cannot use my hyperspace technology because those evil forces can somehow gain strength from when I use that power I have.
Also, despite how I tell myself often that I am ready and mentally prepared to take the big step into that great big empty world where I can finally get some privacy today was a wake up call. The reality of non-reality is something that the human mind, at least my own human mind, cannot understand until actually in the presence of such new wisdom. Sometimes I think that only someone as dumb as myself can be. Something. I don't know.
So, but anyway, what I gave strong thought to throughout today is again a notion that I thought about before and that I was trying to recall just how extensively I had thought it through on past occasions and I cannot recall very much but what I was thinking again about today and seemingly really for the first time to really give it serious consideration is that I my sense of reality as I sit here today is a complete fabrication and that is consistent was thoughts that have been present in my mind the past couple of days or more. The notion is that this entire universe that I perceive, which includes all of you, is a complete fabrication. I actually was feeling, and still do to the same extent as earlier today, that I actually exist in the very distant future of this present day and the world I am living in is some kind of hallucination I am now experiencing for the purpose of scientific research. I don't feel like going into a lot more detail about it right now. For one reason I want to get back to that DVD and try to get all the way through it this evening despite how it is actually quite lousy in terms of production and I feel the production is no less disappointing that I remember feeling when I first watched it back in 1994.
[ JOURNAL ARCHIVE 08 December 2011 excerpt ends ]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Posted by H.V.O.M at 12:55 PM Friday, December 09, 2011
Wait a minute. I had that wrong yesterday.
Something I just heard on the radio a few minutes ago reminded me that I had seen Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in a dream before and her appearance was her literal self as I understood in the dream. I was sitting on a sofa and I was in a place I don't recognize and I can still visualize and she served me a refreshment and I have thought about that many times but now I forget what I was thinking about specifically as she stood there. Naturally I would say "Thank you" but I don't think I did say that. She never did speak in the dream and after she handed me the cup she went back to her desk which was behind me and the sofa and she continued working on some documents. I heard some dialog from another man and woman just after that but I am not really certain if they were in the same room we were in although I could visualize them to a certain extent. I thought about this after I heard something on the radio just a few minutes ago and I do not record here certain specific details about that dream.
[ JOURNAL ARCHIVE 09 December 2011 excerpt ends ]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Posted by H.V.O.M at 7:55 PM Thursday, December 08, 2011
What that part makes me think about is how in that dream, I am thinking about as I write these paragraphs, for the first time I can ever recall I actually had a vivid dream where I was talking in person to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the person I was talking to, I was very certain in the dream, was literally Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
I can still remember that I had brought to her a couple of items and I was feeling apologetic because I had not included those items, and this part has always been vague, in some kind of report. But what is not vague is that I saw a brief smile from her, which I thought of because I might have been feeling apologetic perhaps for overlooking something earlier, which was the reason I was talking to her again and with those two items in hands, one of which was a pair of wire cutters and the other was a non-conductive tool that I remember from using to adjust certain variable electronic components as potentiometers and similar items that are soldered to printed circuit boards, and so apparently those two items were part of a collection that was being put together and I came back to her and told her we needed to add those items to the collection. Reinforcing the notion that we were all moving somewhere, which is vague now in sequence because I cannot recall which happened first, is the scene with the lawn mower.
[ JOURNAL ARCHIVE 08 December 2011 excerpt ends ]
http://www.parks.wa.gov/parks/?selectedpark=sacajawea&subject=all
Washington State Parks
Complete information for sacajawea
Park overview:
Sacajawea State Park is a 284-acre inland waters, day-use park at the confluence of the Snake and Columbia rivers. It features 9,100 feet of freshwater shoreline. The area is spread out with a big sky and excellent views of the two rivers as they flow together.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/17/08 8:50 PM
I just woke up a few minutes ago from I guess about 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I still feel exhausted. I am now wondering of the series of scenes and images in one dream was actually a representation of my flight into space as the commander of the first space shuttle launch.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/17/08 8:54 PM
There dream, though, seemed to be set on the USS Oliver Hazard Perry FFG-7. I am not certain how I linked that setting to FFG-7 but I am certain I was on a FFG-7 class ship and the notion lingers in my mind that it was the FFG-7.
In a somewhat confusing part, I walked out of a room with two people in it, where a junior person was getting a medal, for someone reason, as I was looking on, onto the weatherdeck. The person who had got the medal, which was a medal I can visualize but that I do not recognize, followed out onto the deck, I think. I can still visualize the calm blue water and also looking out onto the shore and the sky line of some city we were near but that I cannot recognize either after waking up. I do remember that I commented to the other person that I enjoyed being back out to sea, and I feel compelled to note that I might have said to him that I enjoyed especially being out to sea when we we just floating around, as we were then. Then, for some strange reason, I was over the edge of the deck and I was hanging onto the low railing, trying to keep myself from falling over into the water. But the gravity was strange and that might be why that part seems weird, in retrospect of the dream. I almost want to say that my feet were drifting upwards instead of downwards towards the ocean. I cannot remember what happened next. On one hand, it seems understand that I was hanging onto that railing but I am also somewhat baffled, as I ponder the dream after waking up, why I was even hanging from that railing in the first place.
I also remember something, vaguely, about Iceland, maybe. Something related to flying aircraft. Perhaps I was stationed at some point as a pilot in Iceland. I remember hearing some comments about someone's skills as an aircraft pilot. I remember something about looking at an aircraft runway and seeing the remains of the de-icer material they use. This all seemed to happen as I was sitting on the boat and I could actually see those other locations, such as the runway and the office, while I was in another far away location. That might be the result of remembering a past experience while having a dream. Something like that. A memory within a memory. I also remember sitting there in that boat that I was holding some kind of award plaque but I cannot remember what was writting on that award plaque. I think the award plaque had been given to Jim Lovell but I am not certain what that means. I can still visualize certain words on it but I cannot remember enough to describe those words. I remember that some letters were missing in the words.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 17 March 2008 excerpt ends]
[ Bill Gates-Microsoft-Corbis-Nazi the cowardly International Terrorist Organization violently against the United States of America actively instigate insurrection and subversive activity against the United States of America with all Bill Gates-Microsoft-Corbis-Nazi staff partners contributors employees contractors lawyers managers of any capacity as severely treasonous criminal accomplices and that are active unlawful obstructions, combinations, or assemblages, or rebellion against the authority of the United States that actively make it impracticable to enforce the laws of the United States in the United States and in the Severely Treasonous and Criminally Rebellious State of Washington by the ordinary course of judicial proceedings ]
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/modestmouse/floaton.html
MODEST MOUSE
"Float On"
I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did I say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well
Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't you worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
We'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on
- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 01:32 AM Pacific Time USA Tuesday 29 May 2012
