Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Rush (1991)
Chief D.O.D.
I can still visualize Rachael Barnett doing that same thing.
That would have been 1990 or 1991. Maybe the summer of 1991. I can recall taking her over to my friend Jim French's pool. He had started dating Barbara Kelly, my next-door neighbor when I first moved to Greenville South Carolina, sometime after I had known her from next door and after I had moved across town to Wexford. I was living there on Wexford when I was seeing Rachael. Jim was part of a mysterious crew working out the Greenville regional airport.
So anyway, as I started off here to write there was one day when I lived in that duplex apartment off Wexford near Greenville South Carolina and I had made arrangements with Rachael that was she was to drive straight into my car garage. I left my Mazda RX-7 parked on the street. I can visualize myself standing there in the garage and I opened the door as she turned off the main street and she drove straight into my garage without having to stop until she was in there. She didn't drive a Gremlin though.
I can still visualize that night I went over and knocked on her door. I remember planning it. I remember being scared. I remember the intensity in my mind doing all that.
One of my earliest memories of Racheal is around the time I first met her. I recall she was sitting there alone with me in the office where I worked at First Federal and this morning I visualize that scene and I think of it almost as though she was there for an interview with me because of her mannerisms I visualize vaguely now. After she left I was later talking to Jim Shea that time or around that time and I don't recall our precise words but I said something similar to or precisely "I think Racheal has a thing for me" and Jim Shea's response "I know she does."
I can still visualize one day I had rushed out of the First Federal building to catch Racheal before she left from work that day and we spoke about meeting later and then I can visualize her in her boyfriend's car and I was stopped at a traffic light and they were driving behind me and I can visualize them laughing about something. I don't recall his name and I think that was the only time I saw him in person. He was a long-haired type with a bicycle rack on the top of his car.
One time she and I were talking in my office and I had a bad hangover and she wanted me to go over to the gym with her and to work out the toxins in my body.
I sure did like her.
View Larger Map
https://maps.google.com/?ll=34.867595,-82.377902&spn=0.000003,0.002064&t=h&z=20&layer=c&cbll=34.867521,-82.378276&panoid=sjCnws7-4DAhpfs5pY_i4A&cbp=12,266.71,,0,3.38
Google Maps
725 US-29, Greenville, South Carolina, United States
Address is approximate
1990 film "Fire Birds" DVD video:
00:22:58
Jake Preston: Can't we at least be friends?
Billie Lee Guthrie: Yeah. We can just be best of friends.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 27, 2006
Whose music was it that Rachell Barnett told me she like to listen to that time when she was over at my apartment on Wexford? Was it Barry Manilow? After I wondered about that, I then thought that maybe it was Neil Diamond. Can't remember. While Rachell Barnett probably wasn't a real person and may be representative of something else, it is probably these little details that come from people around me when I was doing what ever it was I was involved in at the time.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 27 July 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 1:46 PM Monday, April 30, 2007
That also reminded me, for some reason, a time I went to see Rachel Barnett, a girl I had been dating and that I was quite taken with. She was living with some guy that was the manager of a restaurant or something, and I drove my 1990 red Mazda RX-7 over there to his house and knocked on the door because I wanted her back and I wanted her to leave with me. There was nobody home though.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 30 April 2007 excerpt ends]
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0008630/quotes
IMDb
Quotes for
Tania Chernova (Character)
from Enemy at the Gates (2001)
Vassili: On the train... coming here... we were in the same car.
Tania: No...
Vassili: I saw you. You were reading and you fell asleep. Oh, I didn't dare look at you, you were so beautiful.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 06/09/08 5:28 AM
As I was walking outside a few minute ago, the thought occurred to me that my artificial memory of Racheal Barnett has some kind of bearing, along with many other details, on that notion of the paradox from that series finale episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation.
It is no so much her that is the paradox; it is probably just that I became aware at some point that I have artificial memory. That might be the reason for that plot element. Just something about how I would some day reach the point of realizing that I had artificial memory. I am not certain if it was the drugs the VA was giving me or it was just some external source, something of an alarm clock, that told me I could start coming out of it. Something that I was waiting to hear and that maybe only I knew about but I had created that condition on my own perogative before my memory was suppressed. Because I did it on my own perogative, I told no one how I had designed it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 06/09/08 5:39 AM
but as I think about it more, that may not be what the paradox - as a concept - was supposed to represent, assuming that is at all relevant, which it is probably.
The notion of having artificial memory might not be the reason for the plot element of the paradox. It could be that I am getting closer to realizing what is the reason for that plot element of the paradox.
Or the notion of the paradox is represented by the specific details in my artificial memory, such as why I "remember" Racheal Barnett.
It is the "why" of it all. Why do I "remember" Racheal Barnett. Perhaps that is supposed to be the paradox.
I have psyched myself into thinking I am some other person, as I have planned for decades, and the notion of the paradox is something about how I had been directed the life of that person, within reason, to have some bearing on my current awareness.
I wanted to remember my wife Phoebe. I love her very much and I want to go home to her.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 09 June 2008 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 29, 2006
My doctor asked me why I wanted to return as Thomas Ray. As I was riding back on the bus, I decided that the real reason is that I want to prosecute the people that revealed my covert activities.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 29 August 2006 excerpt ends]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102820/releaseinfo
IMDb
Rush (1991)
Release Info
USA 22 December 1991 (limited)
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/31/07 5:59 AM
That setting is also reminding me of that photo of Racheal I had on the instrument panel of my red 1990 Mazda RX-7. There are some details there about me - or she - worrying that someone would see a photo of her in my car, considering that we were seeing each other secretly.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/31/07 6:01 AM
Rachel had short hair in that photo, as the one's I have compared with Phoebe in the early 1990's. In that photo, which I still had until a couple years ago, she was wearing a white t-shirt and standing in front of a door outside a house. I don't understand my feelings about that photo. Not so much negative feeling and not quite lousy, but not how I want it to be. I don't understand that.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/31/07 6:04 AM
Which parts of those artificial memories of Rachel, who was important to me, are representative of my relationship with Phoebe, and which details are fiction that was created for some other reason, possibly created for positive reasons for the future with Phoebe and me?
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/31/07 6:06 AM
Am I trying too hard to remember Phoebe?
But what the hell else can I do??!!
IT HAS BEEN 10 GODDAMNED YEARS!!!
WHAT THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!!!!
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 10/31/07 6:22 AM
The lousiness of it all is simply because I have such a great woman that is my loving wife and that I cannot see this very minute!!
That is why I am so damned lousy!!!
You wouldn't understand!!!
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 31 October 2007 excerpt ends]
http://articles.latimes.com/1991-04-28/entertainment/ca-1163_1_bars-cops-cells
Los Angeles Times
COVER STORY : Directing Is a 'Rush' : Lili Fini Zanuck, right, Oscar-winning co-producer of "Driving Miss Daisy," is making her directing debut with "Rush," a gritty tale of junkie cops bought from narc-turned-novelist Kim Wozencraft. Zanuck's producer-husband, Richard, isn't worried. The last novice he gambled on was Spielberg.
April 28, 1991 JOE LEYDON Joe Leydon is the film critic of the Houston Post.
HOUSTON — What we've got here is a failure to enunciate.
Those are some pretty mean-looking galoots in the holding cells and they're growling like caged animals do when the zookeeper is late with lunch. The din gets even louder when the hall door clangs open, and two undercover narcotics officers, the very cops who nailed most of them in the first place, come strolling by, to check out the lock-up of yet another perpetrator.
One tough customer shoves his arm right through the bars, and grabs the more fragile-looking of the pair, a blond woman who looks like a teen-ager. She yelps, and her partner--who, not incidentally, is also her lover--takes notice. He grabs the bad guy's arm, twists it, pushes his partner to safety, and then, for good measure, yanks the guy's head right smack against the bars. Clunk .
The other prisoners go ballistic, screaming and braying and shouting explicitly obscene threats.
And on the other side of the camera, a thin, pony-tailed blond woman in a peach-colored jersey and blue jeans yells "Cut!" Because, in her considered opinion, the inmates just aren't shouting loudly enough.
"We're having a situation here where we could be at a PTA meeting!" Lili Fini Zanuck yells in a voice no less authoritative for its slight hoarseness.
Some of the bad guys behind the bars appear positively abashed. The next take, which is set up very, very quickly, is not necessarily any better. But it's a good bit louder.
Welcome to "Rush," the $17-million Zanuck Co. production now shooting in and around Houston. On this particular afternoon--by coincidence, Lili Zanuck's 37th birthday--the Oscar-winning co-producer of "Driving Miss Daisy" is directing a key scene in the suspense drama, and she wants everything, every sound, to be just right. They're not really in a city jail, they're in the middle of a former printing plant in a half-gentrified, half-shabby neighborhood called Montrose. (The plant, which boasts an impressive Art Deco exterior, also doubles as the production office.) Those aren't cells, those are artful arrangements of metal bars and painted plywood. But some of those extras look like they belong in holding cells, or at least have firsthand knowledge of what the real things are like. So Zanuck wants them to sound as real as they look.
Richard Zanuck, Lili's husband, co-producer and Zanuck Co. partner, sits in a not-so-far-off corner of the set and nods approvingly at his wife's take-charge attitude. "Rush," he later explains during a break in filming, is a tough, gritty story about two undercover narcotics cops, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh ("Miami Blues") and Jason Patric ("After Dark, My Sweet"), who work close to the edge, and then topple into the abyss, in 1975 Texas. With its amorality, its sudden violence and its R-rated language, it is not a pretty picture. What it is is the first movie his wife has ever attempted to direct.
"I don't mean this in any kind of unfeminine way," says Richard, "because Lili is very, very feminine. But she thinks like a man. A lot of women would cringe at having to direct this kind of show. She relishes it. She doesn't back off from things that are pretty much male territory in terms of storytelling and filmmaking.
"I think people might see this and say, 'Gee, I knew Lili was kind of a tough, strong-willed girl, but this looks like it was directed by a real tough guy.' "
Perhaps. Other people might look at "Rush," which is set for a late fall release by MGM, and wonder if, on some level, Lili Zanuck saw the project as a metaphor for her own life. The movie's heroine, Kristen Cates, is an attractive young woman who fights hard to gain acceptance in the male-dominated world of Texas law enforcement. Lili Zanuck, who started out as a gofer for her husband back when he was partnered with producer David Brown, has earned her position after more than a decade of work in another sort of man's world. But even now, in some quarters, there are doubts. Even now, she has to deal with people who question her claim to really being the one who discovered an unpublished manuscript called "Cocoon," and persuaded her husband and his partner of its movie potential.
Pressed on the subject, Lili quickly dismisses any pop-psychology probing into her reasons for wanting to make "Rush." But, yes, certainly, she makes no bones about it--she wants to tell the story with a woman's point of view.
"There aren't very many stories where you have a female lead that's interesting," Zanuck says as she curls up into a battered couch between takes. "And for me, personally, as a woman in the industry who gets a lot of material submitted to her, I get a lot of victim stories. Dysfunctional relationship stories where some woman's the victim. And that isn't interesting to me.
"Which is not to say I'm not sympathetic toward victims. But I just think that, probably, in a storytelling way, television may be a better medium for (that kind of story).
http://articles.latimes.com/1991-04-28/entertainment/ca-1163_1_bars-cops-cells/2
Los Angeles Times
(Page 2 of 3)
COVER STORY : Directing Is a 'Rush' : Lili Fini Zanuck, right, Oscar-winning co-producer of "Driving Miss Daisy," is making her directing debut with "Rush," a gritty tale of junkie cops bought from narc-turned-novelist Kim Wozencraft. Zanuck's producer-husband, Richard, isn't worried. The last novice he gambled on was Spielberg.
April 28, 1991 JOE LEYDON Joe Leydon is the film critic of the Houston Post.
"But in a feature . . . it's more interesting to have a woman like this, who is placed in one conflict after another, but who is not really a victim--she's the victim of a situation, maybe, but not necessarily of a person--and also, who has control. She loses it, but she keeps taking it back."
Lili Zanuck admits that she's been thinking of directing a feature for a long time, years before she and Richard picked up their Oscars for "Driving Miss Daisy." But it wasn't until last year, after the Zanucks obtained the "Rush" manuscript in a highly publicized bidding war, that she allowed herself to give voice to her ambitions.
"For me and other women of my generation," she says, "there was always a limitation to your dreams. So then, you had to re-interpret your dreams for yourself. Like, there's no way you sat around saying, 'When I grow up, I want to be a producer.' I mean, what the hell was your prototype? What were you using as your role model? You didn't have one. So I never used to fantasize about being a producer.
"And then, when I did start producing, that was a fantasy. There were probably like three of us, three women producers, at the time. And even then, there was no way that I allowed myself to dream out loud about directing.
"So, if you ask, 'When did you really first think about directing,' well, it was a long, long time ago. If you ask, 'When did you admit to thinking about directing,' well, probably some time after 'Cocoon.' "
Richard Zanuck likes to describe "Rush" as a kind of updated "Days of Wine and Roses," alluding to the 1962 drama that cast Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick as alcoholics. "It's in a different setting," he says, "and a different time. And the addiction is a more current addiction. . . . But it's still two people trying to help each other, thrown into a situation. That kind of realistic, gritty kind of thing."
It's the story of Cates (Leigh), an aimless small-town Texas girl who joins the police force as the best way she can figure to move beyond her dead-end job in an ice-cream parlor. On her first undercover assignment, she's teamed with Jim Raynor (Patric), an old-before-his-time veteran who knows a little bit too much about the drug culture for his own good. Raynor is the one who teaches Kristen how to take heroin and cocaine, all to better maintain a convincing cover while dealing with druggies. Before long, the cops are enjoying their work much too often, to the despair of Raynor's old friend and captain, Larry Dodd (Sam Elliott). And a bad situation gets worse when the junkie cops fix on building a case against a high-rolling drug lord (played by rock legend Gregg Allman in his feature acting debut).
Novelist-turned-screenwriter Pete Dexter, who recently adapted his National Book Award-winning "Paris Trout" for the Showtime cable network, wrote the script. The original writer assigned to the job, Robert Towne, was eased off the project, Richard Zanuck says, "because he went down (to Florida) to do five weeks on 'Days of Thunder,' and wound up staying there for five months--and after about eight weeks, we just couldn't take it any longer."
Dexter based his script on the novel by Kim Wozencraft, who had based her book on her own experiences as an undercover narcotics officer in Tyler, Tex. (The movie is set in the fictional town of Katterly.) Those experiences, it should be noted, included becoming addicted to drugs, planting evidence on suspects, being arrested and spending 18 months in a federal prison.
After her release in 1983, Wozencraft moved to New York, enrolled in Columbia University and worked on a master's degree in writing. "Rush," which started out as her master's thesis, was released as a hardcover last year (it will be released in June by Ivy Books). Its publication was accompanied by several nationally published feature stories, including profiles in New York and People magazines, that dredged up the details of her sordid past.
"But (the movie) is kind of twice-removed," Wozencraft said in a telephone interview from New York. "Because there were elements of my life that were incorporated into the novel, and the novel has been incorporated into a screenplay. And now, it's even more than twice removed, because the screenplay is being interpreted by the actors and the director."
The Zanucks, who paid $1 million for the film rights for "Rush" while it was still a rough manuscript, are very emphatic when they say that their film is in no way, shape or form a docudrama. As they see it, it's a work of fiction, based on another work of fiction, which was based loosely--very loosely--on fact.
"Actually," says Richard Zanuck, "I think experience is a better word than fact.... We're very satisfied with the fact that we have fictionalized an already fictional story.
http://articles.latimes.com/1991-04-28/entertainment/ca-1163_1_bars-cops-cells/3
Los Angeles Times
(Page 3 of 3)
COVER STORY : Directing Is a 'Rush' : Lili Fini Zanuck, right, Oscar-winning co-producer of "Driving Miss Daisy," is making her directing debut with "Rush," a gritty tale of junkie cops bought from narc-turned-novelist Kim Wozencraft. Zanuck's producer-husband, Richard, isn't worried. The last novice he gambled on was Spielberg.
April 28, 1991 JOE LEYDON Joe Leydon is the film critic of the Houston Post.
"Nobody's kidding anybody, nobody's pretending that certain experiences did not occur that parallel what (Wozencraft) wrote about. But in the movie, we've gone even one step further from those experiences."
For that reason, and several others, Lili Zanuck says she "strongly" encouraged her actors not to contact the real-life figures who inspired Wozencraft's fictional characters.
That's OK with Jason Patric, who says he prefers not to burden himself too heavily with research while building a character. "I can say, obviously, that there are certain types of things that we have to know in this movie," Patric says. "So I looked at them, I met certain people who helped me. . . . But I didn't need any additional information. I could use my instrument to interpret this man who's on this page. I really don't need to see how he walks, or how he breathes."
But Jennifer Jason Leigh sees it differently. Lili Zanuck respects her star's decision to contact Wozencraft, to obtain additional background information. "But I didn't think it was a good idea," Lili says. "And I still don't."
Leigh disagrees. In her trailer after the day's shooting, she points to a clutter of black binders stuffed with magazine articles, interview transcripts and other pertinent material, piled high atop her dining table. She cheerfully describes herself as "a research nut" and notes that, when she starred in Paul Verhoeven's "Flesh and Blood," a 16th-Century drama in which she was ravished by Rutger Hauer, she hired her own research assistant to obtain and collate material on medieval life and customs. She has a research assistant for "Rush," too.
She also has memories of a friend who overdosed on heroin. And she recalls hearing rationalizations from her friend that sounded a lot like the ones offered by her character, Kristen Cates.
Leigh, who admits she pursued the lead role in "Rush" "like a mad dog," insisted on meeting Wozencraft to observe "just the way she sits across from you at a table. The way she uses her hands. The way she could tell me a story about her feelings about what happened. And what she felt when she was doing certain things.
"A lot of times, Kim will say, 'Well, that is a character, and this is me.' And so then, I'll say, 'Well, OK, then--who are you? '
"I do feel a certain loyalty to her. Like, when Pete Dexter and I were having a disagreement about something in the script, and I was saying, 'But look how great this is in the book.' And he would say, 'Yeah, but I don't like that, I don't believe that.' And then I would feel very defensive about Kim. So, in that context, yeah, I feel very loyal to Kim. And I really hope she likes my performance."
So far, Wozencraft likes what she has heard.
"I was out of town last week," Wozencraft said, "and Jennifer called, and left a message on my machine. And she had a Texas accent. Which kind of stunned me, because when I had spoken to her before, she didn't have it. And she had it down. It was perfect.
"So it sounds like she's very much in the role."
The last time Richard Zanuck produced a movie in Texas, "Sugarland Express," he took a chance on another first-time feature director: Steven Spielberg.
"And after that picture," Richard says, "I was so convinced that Spielberg . . . could make 'Jaws.' But everybody came up to me, including some high-ranking people at Universal, and said, 'OK, he did "Sugarland Express," but why would you give him this big, expensive, very complex, complicated story that takes place at sea? Why don't you get the guys who have done a lot of action?'
"And I said, 'That's exactly why I don't want them."
Richard had also seen as many buddy-cop movies as he ever wanted to see. So when the time came to pick a director for "Rush," he once again went with someone who had a different take on the material.
"I think," says Lili Zanuck, "that, probably more than anything else, what appealed to me in the story was the ambiguity of it. Because I really think it's important right now--at any time, for me--that things aren't that black and white. This idea that the people in the name of good do something pretty dastardly, that's something we've witnessed a lot, in a very public way. In the name of something very good, a lot of people get hurt."
In "Rush," Lili Zanuck says, "you have the narcs that become junkies, junkies who get turned over to become snitches. You get the supposedly good guys being bad. And the bad guys who really aren't that bad. You get that constant ambiguity that really occurs in real life. This is just a much more extreme case of it."
Regardless of whatever disagreements they may have over research, or interpretation, Jennifer Jason Leigh has nothing but praise for Zanuck as a director. "I think she really enjoys working with actors," Leigh says. "I think she really enjoys that interaction."
Jason Patric says he was impressed that, right from the start, Zanuck "was clear about what she wanted . . . and what she wanted you to bring. I think that's a strength on her part--to be new to the scene, and not to surrender, but to respect what you have to bring to the thing."
"You know," Richard Zanuck says, "most producers who have just won the (Oscar) wouldn't stick their chins out on the very next thing they do, and direct. But she really wanted to do this, and she wanted to find a really challenging subject. . . . She didn't want to make her directorial debut with a 'Mary Poppins' kind of story."
Richard Zanuck suspects that, deep down, his director really does have a lot in common with the heroine of her film.
"Lili's personality runs in the same direction," he says. "She's explosive, she's very decisive, she's very funny. And she's all the way out there."
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 7, 2006
I'm thinking again about that time Rachel Barnet wanting to watch that Swayze movie "Ghost" on video at my apartment on Wexler in Taylors. She didn't believe that I had not already seen it when I figured out who was the bad guy.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 07 August 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 10, 2006
And so Rachel Barnett must represent Julia Roberts.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 10 August 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 10, 2006
I've been wondering why the hell I would let Julia Roberts get away. Then I remembered Melody Barber. I am thinking that Melody represents some of Julie's characteristics. I remembering wishing I had done something different with Melody too, as with Rachel. Melody was beautiful and elegant. And she was an aspiring actress. I met her at that bank I contracted for in SC.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 10 August 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 7:23 AM
I wonder if the time I lived in Memphis represents the time I was lost in Africa. I "remember" when I moved back, I told Tracie I came back for her. Then I was annoyed that she went out on a date with someone she was set up with while I was gone. But as I recall in those artificial memories, she didn't even know if I was coming back or even if I was going to call her again after I left. I can still "remember" how she didn't want me to leave there that day I was driving my rental truck out of Wexford on the way to Memphis. I wanted to get on with it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 7:27 PM
My co-worker, Frank, from the office at First Federal came over to help me move all my stuff into the truck. I got the largest truck they had and it was well too large for all my stuff. At one point as I was driving down the interstate, a truck driver pulled up beside me, honked his horn, and pointed to the back of my truck. I didn't know what he was talking about and I didn't stop. Then the trucker behind him did the same thing as he passed, so I stopped on the interstate and went back to see what they were talking about. At some point earlier, the brakes had locked up on the full trailer that I was towing my 1990 red Mazda RX-7 on and there was a lot of smoke coming from it.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 7:33 AM
I moved out to Central, SC, even though that was a long drive into the office in Greenville, but I was close to where Tracie lived with her parents and I got to see her everyday from then on. I was living there at Hunter's Glen off Issaqueena Trail.
I called Thedia and she wondered where I had been for a long time as I had not talked to any of them.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 7:45 AM
But I always hoped to see Rachel again. I still "remember" her with.....something and I can't figure out how to finish that sentence.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 7:47 AM
Last time I "remember," she was living with a guy that had the unusal last name of Corn. I wanted her back.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/01/07 8:18 AM
I can still visualize that last time I saw Rachel. She was leaving my apartment one morning after we spent the night together. I was feeling incredible. I look back at it as a feeling that everything was right in the world. I "remember" thinking later over the years of just how wrong I was. That would be the last day I saw her.
It was the morning of Halloween. She had called me the day before and I was very happy to hear from her. Other thoughts suggest she was disappointed that I was so eager to have sex with her while she just wanted to spend some time with me; probably something about forming an emotional foundation between us. But that morning of Halloween, I was on top of the world and I couldn't wait to see her again. The next thoughts I have are of a few days later, on my birth day, which was November 2nd. I was wanting to see her and my memories about what was supposed to happen are vague. There is something about her going out of town to see a relative; her aunt maybe. The next thoughts I have are of coming home that night of 11/2 to find she had left a voice message for me and I was very excited to hear from her because I wanted to see her again. I can't explain where the next thoughts come from. It is as though someone told me this part but I can't "remember" ever having such a conversation. Plus, I don't recall that we had common friends that would even relay such information to me. So anyway, I didn't hear from her again after that voice message because she was angry that I wasn't home that night. She thought I was out on a date with some other woman and I wasn't at home on my birth day to wait for her to call. And I have thought about those details that I don't understand how I knew what she was feeling because it seemed unfair. I wasn't out on a date that night. I was on-call for First Federal that week and I had been called out to repair an ATM machine. The person from the bank that let me in the bank was Maria Coleman and around the time Rachel left that message, I was sitting in a nearby Hardee's after I had fixed the machine and I was talking with Maria about how much I cared about Rachel and that I couldn't wait to see her again.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 01 May 2007 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/12/07 9:05 AM
I assume that my relationship with my wife is summarized in the artificial memories of my relationship with Rachel Barnett. I was crazy about her but she didn't know that and I have artificial memories of regrets that I didn't explain well enough my feelings for her. And then I couldn't find her again to tell her how I really felt for her.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/12/07 9:08 AM
Somehow, I think I created that device about Rachel in my mind so that I could overcome some kind of mental block that was preventing me from showing her the affection she deserves from me. For Phoebe, the downside could have been that I always sensed she loved me greatly and I never learned to appreciate what life would be like without her. I created the memories of Rachel so I could learn what it was like to lose someone I.......something.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 May 2007 excerpt ends]
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/04/05/bush.jobs/
CNN
Bush proposes job-training overhaul
Kerry focuses on job losses
Monday, April 5, 2004 Posted: 4:01 PM EDT (2001 GMT)
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Riding a wave of increased optimism from a government report on job growth, President Bush announced Monday a proposal to overhaul the nation's federal job training programs, saying it would help meet the needs of Americans in a changing economy.
"We're not training enough people to fill the jobs of the 21st century," Bush told a crowd of supporters at Central Piedmont Community College in Charlotte, North Carolina. "There's a skills gap."
From 12/22/1991 ( premiere US film "Rush" ) To 4/5/2004 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - George Bush in Charlotte North Carolina as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 4488 days
4488 = 2244 + 2244
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 12/25/1971 ( George Walker Bush the purveyor of illegal drugs strictly for his personal profit including the trafficking of massive amounts of cocaine into the United States confined to federal prison in Mexico for illegally smuggling narcotics in Mexico ) is 2244 days
From 12/25/1991 ( as United States Marine Corps chief warrant officer Kerry Wayne Burgess I was prisoner of war in Croatia ) To 4/5/2004 is 4485 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 2/12/1978 ( premiere US TV series "How the West Was Won" ) is 4485 days
From 12/25/1991 ( as United States Marine Corps chief warrant officer Kerry Wayne Burgess I was prisoner of war in Croatia ) To 4/5/2004 is 4485 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 2/12/1978 ( premiere US TV miniseries "King" ) is 4485 days
From 3/16/1991 ( my first successful major test of my ultraspace matter transportation device as Kerry Wayne Burgess the successful Ph.D. graduate Columbia South Carolina ) To 4/5/2004 is 4769 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 11/23/1978 ( premiere US TV movie "The Thief of Baghdad" ) is 4769 days
From 12/8/1952 ( premiere US film "Battles of Chief Pontiac" ) To 5/12/1991 ( I was the winning race driver at the Monaco Grand Prix ) is 14034 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/5/2004 is 14034 days
From 8/15/1952 ( premiere US film "Son of Ali Baba" ) To 1/17/1991 ( the date of record of my United States Navy Medal of Honor as Kerry Wayne Burgess chief warrant officer United States Marine Corps circa 1991 ) is 14034 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/5/2004 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - George Bush in Charlotte North Carolina as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 14034 days
From 8/15/1952 ( premiere US film "Son of Ali Baba" ) To 1/17/1991 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Persian Gulf War begins as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 14034 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/5/2004 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - George Bush in Charlotte North Carolina as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 14034 days
From 4/28/1937 ( Saddam Hussein - the fictionalized birth date by Bill Gates-Microsoft Corporation for Saddam Hussein to support active violent Bill Gates Microsoft George Herbert Walker Bush George Walker Bush global terrorism against the United States of America ) To 9/30/1975 ( my biological brother Thomas Reagan the United States Navy test pilot was the primary test pilot for the first flight of the Hughes and McDonnell Douglas AH-64 Apache attack helicopter and for the United States Army AH-64 Apache test program ) is 14034 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/5/2004 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - George Bush in Charlotte North Carolina as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 14034 days
From 9/2/1969 ( the first automatic teller machine in the United States was installed by Chemical Bank in Rockville New York ) To 4/5/2004 is 12634 days
12634 = 6317 + 6317
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 2/18/1983 ( premiere US film "The Sting II" ) is 6317 days
From 12/20/1994 ( in Bosnia as Kerry Wayne Burgess the United States Marine Corps captain this day is my United States Navy Cross medal date of record ) To 4/5/2004 is 3394 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 2/17/1975 ( premiere US TV series pilot "S.W.A.T." - US TV series episode "The Rookies"::"S.W.A.T." ) is 3394 days
From 8/18/1954 ( premiere US film "Dragnet" ) To 1/19/1993 ( in Asheville North Carolina as Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess I was seriously wounded by gunfire when I returned fatal gunfire to a fugitive from United States federal justice ) is 14034 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/5/2004 is 14034 days
From 1/19/1993 ( in Asheville North Carolina as Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess I was seriously wounded by gunfire when I returned fatal gunfire to a fugitive from United States federal justice ) To 4/5/2004 is 4094 days
From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 1/17/1977 ( premiere US TV series "The New Mickey Mouse Club" ) is 4094 days
[ See also: http://hvom.blogspot.com/2014/03/george-bush-in-charlotte-north-carolina.html ]
[ See also: http://hvom.blogspot.com/2014/06/rush-1991.html ]
http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/granule/WCPD-2004-04-12/WCPD-2004-04-12-Pg533-2/content-detail.html
GPO U.S. GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE Keeping America Informed
40 WCPD 533 Remarks on Job Training and the National Economy in Charlotte, North Carolina
President George W. Bush
Event Date April 5, 2004
Notes The President spoke at 10:15 a.m. at Central Piedmont Community College-Central Campus. In his remarks, he referred to Charlotte- Mecklenburg Police Chief Darrel Stephens
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046931/releaseinfo
IMDb
Dragnet (1954)
Release Info
USA 18 August 1954 (Chicago, Illinois)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046931/fullcredits
IMDb
Dragnet (1954)
Full Cast & Crew
Jack Webb ... Sergeant Joe Friday
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/277539/Saddam-Hussein
Encyclopædia Britannica
Saddam Hussein
Saddam Hussein, also spelled Saddam Husayn, in full Saddam Hussein al-Tikriti (born April 28, 1937, Tikrit, Iraq—died Dec. 30, 2006, Baghdad), president of Iraq (1979–2003)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102820/fullcredits
IMDb
Rush (1991)
Full Cast & Crew
Max Perlich ... Walker
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 09/09/07 1:33 PM
I wonder if the reason I can "remember" and visualize fairly well, of sitting at the bar where Racheal waited tables and seeing her walk close by and smiling at me when she saw me sitting there is why Phoebe's character also worked in a bar in "Gremlins."
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 09/09/07 1:37 PM
I have several "memories" about that place she worked. I can probably find it on the map of Greenville, SC, if I thought about it long enough. I "remember" one time I went in there to see Racheal but she wasn't there and I was disappointed. I can "remember" it clearly because I was wearing a yellow tie and my brown bomber's jacket and I "remember" thinking I probably looked out of place.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 09 September 2007 excerpt ends]
- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 03:50 AM Pacific Time somewhere near Seattle Washington USA Wednesday 25 June 2014
