Kafka

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 8:28 PM Thursday, September 15, 2005


Behavior control

Had some weird dreams lately. I think they are in my head again. How they are doing it I do not know. I have searched the internet for a long time to get more clues on it, primarily to find other instances of something like this happening. As I documented earlier, it is known that external noises can influence a person's dreams. What I have been trying to do is determine whether someone is trying to control my mind. I don't think they are controlling my mind and that everything I do is my own free-will, but it just all really agitates me. I have actually found U.S. Patents for devices and methods to control behavior, but whether this stuff really works, I don't know. Most of it sounds like a bunch of X-Files-nonsense to me. Here's one I found with a short description for U.S. Patent 6,258,022:

[ internet hyperlink lost: ] Behavior modification of a human subject takes place under hypnosis, when the subject is in a relaxed state. [ internet hyperlink ]

The complete description includes a device which isn't present in my situation, but there is a lot of other similarity to make me wonder. Last year, I read about a device that can channel sound like a spotlight does to light. It creates a narrow beam of sound that can be projected to a specific location. I suspect they are using something like that in my situation. Or maybe I am psychic, hell I don't know, I would pretty much believe anything at this point, even though I don't believe in supernatural stuff like that.

I am going to describe a dream I had earlier today, because as strange as it seems, I think I am supposed to. I think someone is testing me and they want me to relay to them what they sent to my sleeping mind. I guess they want to see how much detail I remember when I am awake or something like that. It has happened a couple times lately but I have resisted writing about it. Mainly because it agitates me so to be manipulated like this.

I had that dream again about the house I bought in South Carolina back in the early '90s. I loved that place, it was quiet and relaxing. That house is always the central element in dreams I have sometime. There are usually variations to the situation, but the house is always there. And there is usually another element to the dream. In the dream, I discover that I still own the house and I can go back there any time I want, even at the very moment I realize it is still there. It is a great feeling to know I can sleep there that very night if I want to.

In this dream last night though, there is something about my nieces. One of them has bought the house and will live there now. This is one of ten houses that one of ten nieces is getting. Not sure what that means, I only have two nieces. So anyway, I have two cars parked outside. One is that Mazda RX-7, and just like re-discovering the house in the prior dreams, this car is suddenly mine again and I am very happy to see it. I faced a dilemma though about how to get two cars back to my place, whereever that was. There is a lot of food in one car and I am transferring it from one to the RX-7. It was dark. Then I found myself at what seemed to be my own place in the country, the grass was very high. Never seen this place before, but there seems to be something slightly familiar about it. Next image I remember is my Jeep blocking the entrace of my driveway. But the postman has driven around it and is delivering the mail. He has a lot to deliver. At one point, he walks up to the house, or the garage, but I do not talk with him. Before this, I had been walking around the property and there are a lot of other buildings with purposes I don't know but they have a lot of objects, tools and such, cluttered around. I am standing on the porch about to go in and a woman throws open a hatch on the porch and starts climbing up from under the porch. She is carrying a fishing tackle box and something else I don't recognize. She is a scientist or something. She is on some kind of expedition to go out and cause frogs, I think it was, to contract the "mumps." I don't know why she was doing it, but she said they weren't doing it themselves. I woke up at this point and I could hear some loud-mouth in another room on this floor talking loudly next to his window about how he never contracted the mumps when he was a kid even though he had actually tried to contract it by getting into bed with someone that had the mumps.

I'm not sure if this dream happened after I went back to sleep or it had occured earlier, but I was in that unfamilar house there in the country and I was trying to get ready. I was meeting some family members in town for lunch but I kept getting interrupted. At one point, the clock read 1:38 pm but I had to be there at 2pm and I had not even showered or shaved yet. I didn't know how to get in touch with them to let them know I would be late.

The other dream I had was about fighting some kind of aliens. I'm not sure if this dream happened before the one I wrote about above or if it happened later. In this dream, I am still in the Navy, but I am wearing some kind of camoflauge uniform, maybe army or marines. These aliens have invaded a subway and there are a lot of travelers around in danger. I am about to drop from exhaustion after 36 hours of fighting, we have been retreating and I am separated from the other soldiers. I am carrying two heavy packs, trying to find another unit to group up with, with passengers stream through the facility, they are even getting on the trains as some of them are still coming through. I have lost my rifle somewhere. I still have plenty of ammo, but I can't find a rifle. A woman at a coffee kisok says something to me that I don't remember, she has dried blood on her hands as she is preparing coffee. Then I am outside and I have found an armory where I get another rifle. I start heading back to the subway. A woman drives up in a car and asks me if I am who she thinks I am. But I can't remember seeing her actually in the car, all I can remember is seeing her buried in the dirt with only her talking face exposed. That is all I remember.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 15 September 2005 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 12:52 PM Monday, September 12, 2005


Tired

My thoughts don't feel as organized today. Very tired. Most of all, I hate having to write about this stuff in this blog. I hate it more than anything. The real problem though is that this blog feels no more public than my private email accounts. In other words, for a long time, for much too long, it felt like my private email account was a public blog. I could write about this stuff by sending it to myself in an email or I could write about it here in this blog. And there is no difference in terms of privacy. If you can read it here, you can read it in my private email. I don't know who is doing it, but I am convinced that someone is intercepting my private email and disclosing it to unknown people. It made me feel like my landlord was unlocking my apartment when I wasn't there and then gossiping with people about my private life, such as how I don't make my bed in the morning. For years, I have been living with absolutely no private life. It is exhausting.

This reminds about how it seemed no one ever understood what happened in the Persian Gulf. At least I don't think about that as much nowadays, so I got that going for me. With all this going on, and no one understanding what it is doing to me, and with a world that respects no privacy other than their own, at least I don't think about the Persian Gulf as much anymore. Lucky me.

I wrote earlier about my game to shake off the people following me. I found it somewhat humorous but slightly annoying when I saw a car commercial with a real celebrity (reminds me of Shelley's Among the stars that have a different birth by virtue of them knowing why people are following them) racing away from paparazzi while he is also taking pictures of them with his camera. I believe they were doing that because I had written about that in my journal and they read what I wrote, not to mention those commercials came out after I launched my efforts to take pictures of the people following me. Maybe they are supporting me with something like that or maybe they are just standing on my shoulders. And so after I just wrote that sentence, I realized that doing things like that have absolutely no support value to me, rather they are indeed putting more weight on my shoulders.

So going back to how cars were following me, something new happened one day. I walked out to my Jeep and one of the tires was going flat. For several days, I just keep putting air in it because it wasn't so much a slow leak, but then it wasn't so much a fast leak. After a few days of that, I walked out one morning and it was completely flat. So I changed it and took it to a nearby tire shop to have fixed. They took the tire and told me to come back later.

Eventually I came to suspect a tracking device had been put in the tire while it was there in the shop. Probably some kind of GPS unit that would record my every movement. I had another clue to support that theory but I will not mention it here, only when I get these bastards in court. What worried me more was what would happen if I had to use that tire. I imagine that device was pretty good sized, if I am driving on the interstate is this thing going to rip through my tire?

My suspicions were reinforced one day when I returned to my apartment. I was living in Kent, WA, by this time. The Wal-Mart incident as well as the flat tire and the paparazzi-types were all out in the Spokane, WA, area. Anyway, on this day in Kent, I had just returned from a road trip, don't remember where I went, but I may have gone back out to Coeur d'Alene. After I parked in front of my apartment, I went inside. But then I walked back outside to my Jeep. Anybody watching me and learning my habits would know that I rarely come back outside after parking and going inside. So I walk outside and there is a purple van parked behind my Jeep. As soon as they see me, they speed off. And there was something suspicious about the behavior of the guy in the passenger seat. He looked surprised.

I was taking some stuff out of my Jeep and the van stopped briefly at one of the other buildings down the road and dropped off the passenger. He started walking into one of the apartment buildings and he even turned around to see if I was watching him. I think they pulled up behind my Jeep and were downloading the GPS data out of the device in my spare tire but I startled them by coming back outside.

Last year, with all this stuff going on, I became convinced that Orwell's 1984 had arrived, just 20 years late. That was another book I enjoyed in high school. I think it initially caught my attention because 1984 was the year I was going to graduate high school. I have been careful to not let my imagination get the better of me but the evidence is just inescapable. Eventually, the people responsible will have their day and court and will be able to explain why they shouldn't go to jail, but the longer this continues, the less weight their excuses will carry. The excerpt below is a good summary of my existence over the past few years. The only difference is that, based on my electronics education, I don't believe it is possible to turn a regular television into a telescreen. I have heard some paranoid-types talking about this, but I don't believe it is possible. Instead, I believe there have been small hidden cameras around me. At Microsoft, I think they put them in the smoke/fire detectors. I was looking at them on numerous occasions but couldn't tell anything. I knew if I tampered with them to determine if they contained a hidden camera, they would probably just put me in jail. I also remembered how I came into the office one Saturday morning and some guys running cables in the ceiling looked surprised to see me there.

[ excerpt: George Orwell "Nineteen Eighty Four" ] [ internet hyperlink lost: ] The telescreen received and transmitted simultaneously. Any sound that Winston made, above the level of a very low whisper, would be picked up by it, moreover, so long as he remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded, he could be seen as well as heard. There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live -- did live, from habit that became instinct -- in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized. Winston kept his back turned to the telescreen. It was safer, though, as he well knew, even a back can be revealing. [ excerpt: George Orwell "Nineteen Eighty Four" ]


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 September 2005 excerpt ends]










http://www.online-literature.com/shelley_percy/678/

THE LITERATURE NETWORK


To the Moon

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars that have a different birth, -
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Friday, September 02, 2005 posted by H.V.O.M at 8:35 PM


Everybody loves Truman


I sat there in the park for the next 24 hours thinking surely someone walk up to me and finally clue me. Maybe like Kafka's Josef K. was thinking, it was all some big joke. But while I feel like I am Josef K., the cops just tell me I am paranoid. If the feds had a Most Un-Wanted list, I am certain I would be on it. So I sat there all day,waiting for someone, anyone to show up and clear away the clouds from the sun. I sat there looking at the bridge.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 02 September 2005 excerpt ends]










http://articles.latimes.com/1994-12-21/news/mn-11473_1_bosnian-serb

Los Angeles Times


Carter Announces Bosnia Cease-Fire Agreement : Balkans: Truce begins Friday, he says after shaky start with rebel Serbs. Diplomats remain skeptical.

December 21, 1994 DEAN E. MURPHY TIMES STAFF WRITER

SARAJEVO, Bosnia-Herzegovina — The Bosnian Serbs and the Muslim-led Bosnian government have agreed to begin a cease-fire on Friday as a small first step toward ending the 32-month civil war, former President Jimmy Carter announced Tuesday.

The modest agreement--one of many proposed cease-fires over the course of the war--came after an unscheduled second round of meetings between Carter and the Bosnian Serb leadership in nearby Pale. Carter called the extra session after conflicting claims about the results of their high-profile talks on Monday threatened to sink his entire peace mission.

Carter announced Monday that Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic had agreed to an immediate cease-fire, but Karadzic backed away from the claim a few hours later.

The Bosnian government was so angered by the theatrics that President Alija Izetbegovic refused to meet with Carter when he returned to Sarajevo late Monday, choosing to make the former U.S. President wait until morning, sources said.

"We have had this character 2 1/2 years, and he lies every day," said Bosnian Vice President Ejup Ganic, referring to Karadzic. "Make sure that you know with whom you deal."

Carter, said to be alarmed and betrayed by Karadzic's antics on Monday, made Tuesday's cease-fire announcement in Pale standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

After driving the mountainous road to Sarajevo, Carter repeated the announcement at the airport en route to Belgrade, where he plans to hold talks with Serbian leaders.

"There will be a complete cease-fire in all of Bosnia-Herzegovina, including Bihac, to go into effect at noon on Dec. 23," Carter said. "This cease-fire is to be completely monitored, without interference, by UNPROFOR (U.N. Protection Force) troops, interposing themselves between the opposing military units wherever necessary."

In The Hague on Tuesday, a two-day informal meeting of defense chiefs from 28 countries agreed on measures aimed at strengthening the U.N. force. At a news conference after the meeting, Lt. Gen. H.G.B. van den Breemen, chief of the Dutch Defense Staff, declined to give details on the measures.

It seemed clear the proposals carried at least the potential to make the U.N. force stronger and more effective, but they must still be studied by national governments and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and then approved by the United Nations, which so far has been extremely reluctant to employ force.

Van den Breemen said the chiefs had discussed, and apparently recommended to their governments, the use of aircraft and more firepower to deliver humanitarian aid to civilians trapped by the war.

"We talked about helicopters and armed escort helicopters," he said.

Such escort aircraft would probably be provided by NATO countries.

The tenor of Van den Breemen's remarks hinted strongly that the military chiefs recommended helicoptering supplies over roadblocks and permitting armed escort aircraft to attack anyone attempting to interfere.

The Dutch general also said the agreed proposals would mean adding to the U.N. force's troop strength.

According to Carter's announcement, the cease-fire would last until Jan. 1, during which time the warring sides would negotiate the details of a proposed four-month cessation of hostilities. If the two sides agree to that temporary peace, they will then turn their attention toward transforming the agreement into a permanent end of the war.

"We don't need more negotiations; we need results," one unimpressed Western diplomat said. "One has to be very doubtful this will go anyplace."

The diplomat and others described the process set up by Carter as fragile and ridden with potential pitfalls, especially since the former President failed to resolve what has been the most intractable obstacle to peace: the Bosnian Serb refusal to accept the Contact Group peace plan.

"In that key and critical area, I think they are still 180 degrees apart," a U.N. official said. "The whole basis of negotiations is still in dispute."

The Contact Group plan, drawn up by the United States, Britain, France, Germany and Russia, calls for dividing Bosnia about in half between the Muslim-Croat federation and the Bosnian Serbs.

The Bosnian government and neighboring Serbia have agreed to the international plan, but the Bosnian Serbs, who would have to give up one-third of the territory they now control, have repeatedly rejected it.

The United States and other backers of the Contact Group plan have described it as a take-it-or-leave-it proposal that must be accepted by all sides before any of it can be revised or amended. The Bosnian Serbs have said they would consider the plan only if it could be renegotiated.



http://articles.latimes.com/1994-12-21/news/mn-11473_1_bosnian-serb/2

Los Angeles Times


(Page 2 of 2)

Carter Announces Bosnia Cease-Fire Agreement : Balkans: Truce begins Friday, he says after shaky start with rebel Serbs. Diplomats remain skeptical.

December 21, 1994 DEAN E. MURPHY TIMES STAFF WRITER

Unable to reach consensus, Carter included the language from both sides in a written summary of agreements reached during his two-day visit but said he could not "detect any significant difference" between them.

"That is a difference in semantics that I have not been able to overcome," he said, adding after reading a note passed to him by his wife, "and I am obviously not taking sides as to whose language is best."

Carter's admission that he could not distinguish between the two positions sent chills through Bosnian government offices here.

Since Carter announced that he would visit their country, Bosnian officials have openly questioned whether his presence would be used by the Bosnian Serbs to undermine the Contact Group plan.

A U.N. official said that even if Carter secures a cease-fire Friday, it will have come at a high price.

"We're going to wait for the next two days" to see if there is a cease-fire, the official said. "Maybe it holds out a very slim chance of forward momentum, but it comes at the great cost of handing Karadzic a propaganda coup and muddying the international community's stance on Bosnia."

A cease-fire could significantly benefit the people of the Muslim enclave of Bihac in northwest Bosnia, which came under heavy shelling again Tuesday. Unconfirmed reports said there were many casualties in the area, including a 10-year-old boy who was killed.

But for a longer truce to take hold, Carter's deal requires the deployment of U.N. peacekeepers between the two warring sides.

U.N. officials said Tuesday that there are few available soldiers, and NATO military chiefs meeting in the Netherlands did not seem inclined to send additional peacekeepers.



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 08:29 AM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Monday 13 April 2015