}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 27, 2006
One detail I do remember from my dreams last night was about bullet scars. I was pointing out three bullet scars on my upper left thigh. But I'm not sure what that means as I don't see any scars like that at that location. There are three scars that I think are bullet scars, but they are on my arms. One is midway along my left forearm and the other two are on my right forearm near my elbow. The left one is larger than the right ones and surely must have broke my arm. There are other scars on my arms too but I don't think they are bullet wounds, although I feel as though there are other old wounds that I can't see because they are obscured by hair. The scar on my right wrist, I believe, is a shrapnel wound. The scar on my left hand is from a power drill. I think I was shot in the back with a shotgun and I want to say that happened during the Panama invasion. There is a cut above my right eye that looks almost surgical in appearance and I am thinking it was from torture, possibly after a beating. There is also that scar that I do have a memory of from a fight with a guy named "Ryll," (pronounced rill) that is below my right eye. I glimpsed what looked like a circular scar around my left temple but the light has to be right to see it. There also seems to be something wrong with my upper right chest, as though I am missing a tendon or something. I tried changing my workout routine to fix it but never saw any results. I think I had a serious blow to the top of my head at some point, possibly a skull fracture as I have some vague memory about that and there is something there like a knot that I didn't notice until I shaved my head. There are various scars on my leg and I think the most noticeable one is from a bullet. If it didn't break the bone, I was very lucky. There are some other barely noticeable scars on one of my lower legs that I want to say are from a shark bite and I want to say that it occured when I was towing one of the anti-ship mines away from the Roberts, if I even did something like that. And that big scar on my right hip, I believe is from a machete or meat cleaver.
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}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/07/07 6:05 PM
Did I run 100 miles straight my first day after escaping the Libyans?
That hip injury must have been later. I doubt it was the Libyans that were going to chop me up with that cleaver. That did cut me up some, but it was a few months later I got hit in the hip with the cleaver knife.
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}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 15, 2006
I started wondering after I remember that is my hip scar is from getting hit with a sword. Or maybe some big knife. It seems they would have had to been below and to my side when they struck me with it.
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}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 17, 2006
Now I understand why Microsoft created that area at the entrance I walked through every day to work. They called it "Mission Control." To my right as I was walking out of the building, they had a large photo of three enlisted U.S. Navy sailors saluting. I saw that same photo on the classmates.com website. One day, I became convinced they even had a hidden camera in my Jeep. One clue was something Vince Maraia kept asking me about the dashboard.
I'm beginning to think that all those times I was sick with what I thought was the flu, were actually the result of being poisoned. I was watching something on tv the other day about a woman who poisoned her husband with anti-freeze. The symptoms of anti-freeze poisoning are similar to the flu, according to that tv episode. That may explain why I was thinking about that sometime last year, someone was trying to tell me something.
I wonder if this scar on my hip is actually from getting hacked with a machete. I have also been wondering for a while if I have ever been attacked by a shark. I can't remember any scars that look like teeth marks, although I did see one on my lower right leg that I wonder about.
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}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 1, 2006
had actually told me that the power drill actually went through his hand, not up through it towards the wrist. Since I thinking that actually occured to me, I wonder why I think sometimes about the drill going into my hand since the scars seem to support that it went through my hand, if that even happened at all. I told my doctor today that as the person I used to be, the memory is probably harder to relive than it was to actually live through. It's not really bothering me all that much but some times these things really give me a jolt.
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}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 7, 2006
When I wrote about this scar on my wrist being from shrapnel, I forget to mention another thought I had. I was thinking about that scene in "Memphis Belle" where the tomato soup exploded in the cabin and they thought the other one had been hit. I have been thinking that something like that happened to me
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1991 film "Flight of the Intruder" DVD movie:
00:09:05
USS Independence CV 62 Commander Air Group: What altitude were you at when McPherson got hit?
US Navy Lieutenant Jake "Cool Hand" Grafton - USS Independence CV 62 US Navy A-6 Intruder pilot: Three hundred, 500, something like that. I'd just taken a gun out with a snake eye.
US Navy Commander "Cowboy" Parker - USS Independence CV 62 air squadron Executive Officer: Three hundred or 500? It makes a difference.
US Navy Lieutenant Jake "Cool Hand" Grafton - USS Independence CV 62 US Navy A-6 Intruder pilot: I don't know. I'm a little shaken up right now.
US Navy Commander Frank "Dooke" Camparelli - USS Independence CV 62 air squadron commander: You're what?
US Navy Lieutenant Jake "Cool Hand" Grafton - USS Independence CV 62 US Navy A-6 Intruder pilot: I said I'm shaken up, sir. I got Morg's blood all over me.
}}}}} JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/22/2006 5:11 PM
After I awoke from a nap this afternoon, I felt compelled to write about a dream I had just before I woke up but then did not write about it. I started feeling that need to write about it again but may have forgotten some details by now. I have started thinking that the dreams I have just before waking up mean something in their own right.
In the dream, I was wearing a Navy uniform. I didn’t have anywhere to go though and seemed to be just walking around what I guess was a Navy installation. I decided to go into a building to ask if another Commander was still there even though I knew he wasn’t there. I spoke to a Navy enlisted person who appeared to be an Airman judging by his three green stripes although I couldn’t make out his rating symbol. He asked me a question but I didn’t hear his question and I asked him to repeat it by saying “Sir?” to him with an inquisitive tone. He asked me how I could not know that the other Commander was already deployed and I said something about how I just did not know. I left and walked down and out on some kind of spiral staircase, although that part isn’t that clear and I find myself wondering about that part. There was another spiral staircase ahead of me, there seemed to be dual staircases on either side of the front door to that building, and a Lt. j.g. came down the other side. I want to say he was someone I should know but I can’t picture him as someone I knew. I want to say it was him that spoke something to me at that point but I also want to say the voice came from behind me. He said, or someone else said, something about me being “a little off.” I wondered if he meant that I was wrong about some of these details. Then I wondered if he meant I was a little crazy, but I think I started thinking that last one after I woke up. I think after he or someone said that, it made me start thinking about the uniform I was wearing. I found myself thinking after I awoke that it seemed to be a Marine Corps officers dress uniform. I seemed to be wearing the dark blue Marine uniform with white pants. But I am confused about one detail as it seemed I looked to my left shoulder and saw Navy shoulder boards with Captain stripes. Or was it just an epaulet, I am not sure, but there was a pair of sunglasses clipped under it. I was walking down the sidewalk and there were two people ahead of me. One may have been that Lt. j.g. Another was a female officer, Navy I guess. Somewhere along there I realized I had forgotten to wear the appropriate cover for that uniform and realized that I was still wearing a ball cap, although I had actually taken it off as I went outside. I realized I couldn’t return anyone’s salute. Then I started thinking that the ball cap had USS Wainwright printed on it but I don’t remember actually looking at it and I may remember that detail in the sense that someone was reading details to me, they were telling me what the name was on the cap. I also remember that it had a frayed bill just like the Nike cap I have now. I remember I was walking very slowly. It was hard to walk and I was limping. I have thought several times before that if I do start wearing the uniform again, I should use a cane until I get my leg back in better shape. Then I was in a parking garage and I had to cross a street into a parking lot, I guess to find my car.
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http://www.dodmedia.osd.mil/Assets/Still/1987/Navy/DN-ST-87-11415.JPEG
ID: DN-ST-87-11415
Service Depicted: Navy
An F-14A Tomcat aircraft enters a barricade during an emergency landing aboard the aircraft carrier
The recovery was successful
Camera Operator: PH3 HALL
"Space: Above And Beyond"
"Stardust"
19 April 1996
Episode 20 DVD:
00:28:42
1LT Cooper Hawkes: Colonel.
Colonel Klingman: Lieutenant.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: I was wondering if you could answer a few questions about a-all this.
Colonel Klingman: Telepresence has been around for quite some time. The Russians first used it in 1998 to explore Mars. Telepresence is an interactive computer graphics system which provides the operator with the illusion of being immersed in a simulated environment.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: My question isn't really about the system. It's about you.
Colonel Klingman: You got a problem with me?
1LT Cooper Hawkes: Yeah.
Colonel Klingman: Sit down.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: You won't be there. I mean, you yourself? You seem okay to me. You seem like you know what you're doing with this stuff. But a machine - all this? It can't feel what we do out there. When we're under enemy attack and it just becomes one big hairy fur ball and you don't know up from down and your heart's pounding because you're taking enemy fire from your 6:00 and 12:00 and you barely have time to think for yourself - somehow we all just know. We feel where each other are. And I'm there for them and they're for me.
Colonel Klingman: You're talking about situational awareness.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: Yeah! And I don't see how you can have it sitting in a closet in the Saratoga. Now, I'm not trying to rag on you but have you ever had your wingman - a good buddy - blown out of the sky then have to drive on while g-forces are tearing you out of your seat?
Colonel Klingman: I'm an engineer, Lieutenant.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: And then puke all over yourself when you came out of the roll?
Colonel Klingman: Yes, but not in an airplane.
1LT Cooper Hawkes: Have you ever been shot at?
Colonel Klingman: No. I've never been in a dogfight. But why must I have taken a life in order for you to trust me? This machine - these wires - will save millions of lives. This plan - my idea - is my part to bring everyone home soon. Safe. And I would think you could believe in and trust someone who's working to be able to spend a night with you back home rather than going out to look up your name on some war memorial wall. I believe in my plan. I believe in myself.
