JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/3/2006 4:52 PM
The doctor who saw me at the VA
After the x-ray’s, he laughed and said that I was “full of shit.” The woman taking the x-ray’s was laughing too.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 03 February 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Saturday, February 11, 2006 6:51:59 PM
Subject: as of a drama
In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could conceive of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of them had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these theories, and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering and quaking.
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were about to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by himself of many shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he considered the intolerable slowness of the generals. They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river bank, and leave him bowed down by the weight of a great problem. He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders reached an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a veteran.
http://www.online-literature.com/view.php/redbadge/2
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 11 February 2006 excerpt ends]
http://www.online-literature.com/crane/redbadge
THE LITERATURE NETWORK
Stephen Crane
The Red Badge of Courage
http://www.online-literature.com/crane/redbadge
THE LITERATURE NETWORK
Literature Network » Stephen Crane » The Red Badge of Courage » Chapter 9
Chapter 9
The youth fell back in the procession until the tattered soldier was not in sight. Then he started to walk on with the others.
But he was amid wounds. The mob of men was bleeding. Because of the tattered soldier's question he now felt that his shame could be viewed. He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men were contemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his brow.
At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way. He conceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy. He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE:
This scene of the Priestess performing some kind of ritual for their minds reminds me of a letter I mailed sometime in 2003. I guess that was the second half of 2003. Can't remember for certain. I do remember that I was living in that apartment in Redmond and that I mailed the letter in 2003. I wrote a letter to the Chief of Naval Operations and sent it to some kind of special projects department
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE excerpt ends]
