Res ipsa loquitur

http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF10.txt

Day of the Jackanapes [ The Simpsons ]

Original Airdate on FOX: 18-Feb-2001


% There's no cheering at Krusty's studio, however. He's meeting with
% some network executives about ways to spice up his show.

Krusty: Eh, this quiz show crap is just a fad.

Executive: Well, fad or not, it's here to stay.

Lindsey: And it's killing your show in the ratings.

Krusty: Hey, what do you want from me? I do a kids' show.

Lindsey: And it's a classic. We just want you to open it up.

Executive: Run wild. Shatter the boundaries. Slash and burn!

Lindsey: Without alienating anyone.


% Krusty can't believe what he's hearing. Even Mr. Teeny, the trained
% monkey, is disgusted. Krusty runs screaming from the room, and exit
% that doesn't impress the executives very much.
%
% Krusty recovers his composure well enough to do his show. After
% Mme. Mimi and her cheese-seeking poodles finish their act, Krusty
% announces that next sketch is set in the "craziest" place -- a
% restaurant. Even on the set, the network execs continue to harangue
% Krusty. They suggest that instead of a restaurant, the skit be set
% in Seinfeld's diner. With only five seconds to air, Krusty quickly
% rejects the idea and takes his place on the set.
%
% The sketch begins, in a set built to resemble a small Italian
% restaurant.

Krusty: Ah, nothing like a meal in a fine restaurant. Ah, here comes the waitress.

[a waitress walks to Krusty's table. But this "waitress" is really Lindsey Neagle]

Lindsey: [aside to Krusty] We're losing male teens. Can you get jiggy with something?

Krusty: You're giving me notes while I'm on the air? That tears it! [to audience] Folks, I've been in show biz for 61 years, but now these jerks have sucked all the fun out. I don't need twelve suits telling me which way to pee.

Exec: Uh, for "pee," could you substitute, "whiz?"

Lindsey: Ah, I don't know; that could upset the Cheez Whiz(tm) people.

Exec: I was just thinking that.

Krusty: I can't take it any more! Folks, don't miss this Friday's show -- it'll be my last.

[audience gasps]

Exec: Quitting show biz. Uh, yeah, I like the area, but where does it go?

Krusty: Get away from me! [runs off the set]

Exec: Wait! [chases him]

Lindsey: We have more notes!










From 3/3/1959 ( the birthdate in Hawaii of my biological brother Thomas Reagan ) To 10/30/1992 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - George Bush - Remarks to the Kentucky Fried Chicken Convention in Nashville, Tennessee ) is 12295 days

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 7/2/1999 is 12295 days



From 11/18/1923 ( Alan Shepard ) To 3/16/1991 ( my first successful major test of my ultraspace matter transportation device as Kerry Wayne Burgess the successful Ph.D. graduate Columbia South Carolina ) is 24590 days

24590 = 12295 + 12295

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 7/2/1999 is 12295 days



From 6/29/1995 ( the Mir space station docking of the United States space shuttle Atlantis orbiter vehicle mission STS-71 includes my biological brother United States Navy Fleet Admiral Thomas Reagan the spacecraft and mission commander and me Kerry Wayne Burgess the United States Marine Corps officer and United States STS-71 pilot astronaut ) To 7/2/1999 is 1464 days

1464 = 732 + 732

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 11/4/1967 ( Lyndon Johnson - Statement by the President Upon Signing Bill Prohibiting Obstruction of Criminal Investigations ) is 732 days





http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=57822

The American Presidency Project

William J. Clinton

XLII President of the United States: 1993-2001

Remarks on Steps To Remove the American Bald Eagle From the Endangered Species List

July 2, 1999

Thank you very much. I have to tell you I was very moved by that. Let's give him another hand. [Applause] And all these young people, I thank them.










http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF10.txt

Day of the Jackanapes [ The Simpsons ]

Original Airdate on FOX: 18-Feb-2001


Wiggum: Okay, where do you want to do this thing?

Bob: Isn't it customary to have a trial?

Wiggum: Oh, a wise guy, eh?



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 8:08 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Friday 25 September 2015