This Is What I Think.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

"I read about them in the paper. I memorize their names."




JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 01/29/07 11:09 PM
Why do I "remember" that Jim Shea worked for the Coca-Cola corporation for all those years?


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 29 January 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: April 02, 2008

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/02/08 3:32 AM
This is another example of how I directed certain aspects of the life of my clone.

But this was not done for him. This was done because I was planning this very operation I am now in the midst of. These were clues I was leaving behind for myself for in the future when my memory had been suppressed from conscious awareness. It was also the reason that my clone would go to work with Jim Shea


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 02 April 2008 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 4/25/07 11:36 AM
Since I remember in my artificial and symbolic memories that Jim Shea's girlfriend Julie drove me home from the hospital, does that mean Julia Roberts drove me home from the hospital after I returned from Africa in 1987?

I feel that is when Julia Roberts and I met and we started dating.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 25 April 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/19/07 7:11 PM
There is something changing about my perceptions of my identity but I can't articulate what it is.

I tend to identify with Jim Shea more and more but I don't understand that. I don't think Jim Shea, as I remember him, are very much alike in my true identity.

I don't understand why I am sensing something only as a greater level of identification with him.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 19 November 2007 excerpt ends]










http://www.azlyrics.com/c/coldplay.html

AZ

COLDPLAY

album: "A Rush Of Blood To The Head" (2002)



http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/coldplay/inmyplace.html

AZ


COLDPLAY

"In My Place"

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 08/02/09 9:33 AM
I dreamed just now of what seems to be the flight of the Stargazer aircraft on 6/27/1994 but the visualizations I assume are mostly just the product of a dream. As usual, there seem to be details that happened before the part I can remember enough to write about that I can not now remember. In the dream, I was onboard that aircraft and we were traveling along towards the point where we would deploy the rocket as it fired and traveled towards space. All I can really visualize though is that the aircraft seemed to be invisible. To me at least. I have the sense that other people could see it. We also were no high over the ground but we were very close to the ground and we were traveling at a rate of motion that did not seem very fast. This all was taking a long time too. I kept expecting the rocket to depart from the aircraft but it did not. I can see the terrain very well. There seemed to be people on the ground looking up and to watch us fly over. We were at another point so close the ground above a highway that I saw a woman in a police car looking up at the sky and I think she was watching us fly over. I think it was before that we were flying over new terrain and I was marveling at the color of the foliage of the trees and it might have seemed that I could even touch the trees with my feet. I remember that very well. But that part is disorienting. It is as though I was standing very close to a wall but then that wall was not actually there and what I saw in front of me was the sky and terrain and everything associated with flying in that aircraft above the ground. It seemed I was talking to the other two men on the aircraft flight deck just then and I become slightly aware as I think about the dream of equipment and instruments around me although that could be the last part. I do have the sense they are wearing uniforms and I think I am too. I am in the middle and I seem to be talking to the guy on my right. Then the part with the woman in the police car seems to happen and then we travel over an area where the terrain drops suddenly and I am marveling at that because I can clearly see everything directly below us. Just because the drop I commented to the guy on my left, who might have actually been me, that there was a stop sign on the road below us at what seemed to be a T-intersection. We seemed to have been following the highway and the highway ended at that intersection with the other highway running perpendicular to it but we continued on a straight line and that was when I saw the terrain drop sharply below us. I commented to the guy to my left who I guess was the pilot about that stop sign below and I cannot now remember our exact words but he responded to me with something about how that was my name on that stop sign and I wish I could remember better that scene from the dream although that was basically the important part. So I think this part is when the rocket was supposed to transfer to space but that is not really clear anymore. What I do remember is that now I am clinging to the side of a mountain and I have no idea where I am although I still have an association in my mind that I was on that aircraft I have been writing about. It is as though I was on the side of that mountain because I had been attached to a rope that was attached to that aircraft and the aircraft had been traveling along with me on that rope. I don't really understand enough to explain what I feel was going on in this part. I don't know. Maybe it doesn't matter. I remember the ground was very steep and I remember there was snow and I seemed to be examining the snow-covered foliage and I am aware of how steep the ground is and I am concerned because I no longer am connected to that aircraft by the rope. I am stuck there on the ground and I have no idea where I am or how to get back to anywhere. I can see what seems to be a level portion of the ground and I guess it is a trail. I can also see a window of a building and it really seems out of place because a consistent thought is that I might as well be on Mount Everest right now but that doesn't really make any sense because I remember seeing all those signs of civilization we flew over. So anyway, I am still lying on or clinging to the mountain in the same position but I am looking at the window and I can visualize it well and I can see the various details of the configuration and I am wondering if I can slide through that window or if it is too small for me to get through. There seems to be no other place to go than through that window where it looks warm and cozy and I see no other signs of civilization other than that window. Then I seem to have made it through the window and I am vaguely aware of being inside the business that runs there and I vaguely recall talking to someone but I cannot remember enough about that conversation to articulate. What seems to happened was that I explained that I was lost from that flight and what they seemed to have done is to put me on a shuttle bus for a hotel and they sent me to a hotel where I can stay. I am aware that I have access to my funds but that is only a notion. I have only the clothes on my back and I am still confused about where I am. I am aware of another person on the bus and I can visualize the we got to the hotel while riding that bus and I can visualize walking through some parts of that hotel and I see that I walked into the registration lobby but then I turned around and walked back out without registering and I am not certain what I was going to do. I still have no idea where I am. I am thinking that the people I was with will probably look for me and I think that if I use my bank card they will know where I am on the ground. I think that was the end. I think the dream ended after I walked back outside the hotel and I was standing outside looking around. I can vaguely visualize the surroundings but I have no idea where it was.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 02 August 2009 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/31/07 7:05 AM
I "remember" that Rachel had hair just as Phoebe does in this movie, "Date With An Angel." I still "remember" so much about Rachel. I had talked to her a few times before we started seeing each other. She followed me into my office one day after we were talking in the cafe of the First Federal building and we were talking in there. I think that was the day we started seeing each other, which was actually later that night. I said something to Jim Shea later that I was thinking Rachel had a thing for me. He said something about how he was quite certain she was indeed very interested in me. I went looking for her and arranged for us to get together later that night and she came over to my apartment at Wexford. This all probably relates to Phoebe somehow but I am not sure how it all relates directly to us. For example, Rachel was living with another guy when we started dating. It could that detail represents me as both guys, but I am not certain. Or it just represents that mediocrity notion I have written of. My belief is that Phoebe has been so perfect for me in reality that I had to create imperfect relationships in my artificial memory so I could fully appreciate just how great she is.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 31 May 2007 excerpt ends]










http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102820/quotes

IMDb


Rush (1991)

Quotes


Kristen: Yeah, but it's a fine line, Dodd.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/25/07 1:46 AM
This movie premiered precisely 20 years after Apollo 11 first walked on the Earth's moon. The title also makes me think of Shaq every time I see it. I also have some kind of symbolic memory about "shag." Other than remembering that shag dance, I "remember" something I said around Jim Shea's mother. Her boyfriend drove up from Florida to find her and she and he were arguing one night in that apartment Jim Shea and I lived in.


I was annoyed by her boyfriend. I told him at one point to "cut his losses and shag off." Jim Shea would laugh about that a few times later as his mother told him what I said. I have a lot of "memories" about those circumstances, which is odd.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shag_%281989_film%29

Shag is a 1989 film starring Bridget Fonda, Phoebe Cates


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 25 May 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/30/07 9:11 AM
So maybe that is why I "remember" going to see "Batman" in 1989 with Phyllis and Jim Shea. That movie premiered 6/23/1989, which was within a week of that TNG episode. It has something to do with Phoebe Cates and me.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 30 April 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/21/07 12:18 AM
I wonder if it was actually Tom Cruise and I in those two karaoke video's I "remember" Jim Shea and I making in that bar in Charleston. I think that was after I got back from that last Med cruise before I got out of the Navy. I have been wondering about this for a while. I think one of the songs was "She's lost that loving feeling." I sent those two tapes to Thedia with that VCR I bought for her birthday. Kayli enjoyed watching them.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/21/07 1:28 AM
Damn I wish I could go to sleep.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 21 March 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/12/07 2:38 PM
I wonder why I "remember" Jim Shea giving me a copy of this CD for my birthday. I'm not really sure when that was; 1990 maybe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Final_Cut_%28album%29

The Final Cut is a rock album by Pink Floyd recorded at several studios in the UK from July to December 1982. It is the final Pink Floyd studio album to feature Roger Waters. None of the songs have ever been performed live by the band, though some have been performed live by Waters during solo tours. The album is dominantly Roger Waters (similar to The Wall, but even more so). Waters' dominance on the album is most clearly seen on the back cover, which reads "The Final Cut by Roger Waters, performed by Pink Floyd".


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 March 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/22/10 1:11 AM
I met Amanda Busch sometime shortly after I arrived for duty in Charleston SC to the USS Wainwright CG 28. I went to a bar in downtown with Jim Shea and some other sailors. Jim and I were renting that trailer off-base and near the base. She had very short hair. When Amanda and I met again later at that same bar Mark Mogge and Andrea Kea were there, before they married, and Andrea was suspicious of Amanda.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 22 March 2010 excerpt ends]










http://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/6456


Speech of Joseph McCarthy, Wheeling, West Virginia, February 9, 1950


This is glaringly true in the State Department. There the bright young men who are born with silver spoons in their mouths are the ones who have been most traitorous. . . .










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/24/06 7:16 PM


I puzzled for a long time why I “remember” a girlfriend from Aberdeen.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 24 December 2006 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/31/06 10:33 PM
Thanks to Q13 Fox News tonight for reminding me about this. It was 5/9/06 when Tom Cruise visited Aberdeen, WA, for the release of his new movie.

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=cruise04m&date=20060504&query=tom+cruise

Local News: Thursday, May 04, 2006


A decade ago, it was Metallica that caused throngs of fans to line the quiet streets of Aberdeen.

Tuesday, it will be Tom Cruise.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 31 December 2006 excerpt ends]










http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092099/quotes

IMDb


Top Gun (1986)

Quotes


Viper: I flew with your old man. VF-51, the Oriskany. You're a lot like he was. Only better... and worse. He was a natural heroic son of a bitch that one.

Maverick: So he did do it right.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 9:36 PM Sunday, September 11, 2005


If I was becoming The Microsoft Candidate, which to me felt more like being Borg'd just like Jean-Luc Picard, then everybody already knew these details about me.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 11 September 2005 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 9:36 PM Sunday, September 11, 2005


Yesterday, I started thinking that maybe no one is going to just give me the explanation I have been waiting on. Instead, what I think is going to happen is someone is going to hand me a set of keys and say "Here you go. One shiny, pre-owned Microsoft. Have fun." I just wonder if Bill Gates is a smoker and if so, whether I will be able to get that smoky smell out of it before I take it for a drive.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 11 September 2005 excerpt ends]










http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092099/quotes

IMDb


Top Gun (1986)

Quotes


Maverick: Jesus Christ, and you think I'm reckless? When I fly, I'll have you know that my crew and my plane come first.










Somewhere I wrote about how we always met at least one group of girls from Britain while we were on liberty from the United States Navy in the Mediterranean. I crafted this post in my mind before searching for that reference which I did not find and do not want to spend another hour trying to find in my journal.



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 12:52 AM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Sunday 24 May 2015