JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2006 19:32:14 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kerry Burgess"
To: "Kerry Burgess"
Kerry Burgess wrote:
This gives new meaning to the concept of "suicide watch."
"Yep, we kept watchin' him, and sure enough, he committed suicide."
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 March 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: From: Kerry Burgess
To: Kerry Burgess
Sent: Sunday, February 12, 2006 12:53:30 PM
Subject: the blue line of his comrades
When the enemy seemed falling back before him and his fellows, he went instantly forward, like a dog who, seeing his foes lagging, turns and insists upon being pursued. And when he was compelled to retire again, he did it slowly, sullenly, taking steps of wrathful despair.
Once he, in his intent hate, was almost alone, and was firing, when all those near him had ceased. He was so engrossed in his occupation that he was not aware of a lull.
He was recalled by a hoarse laugh and a sentence that came to his ears in a voice of contempt and amazement. "Yeh infernal fool, don't yeh know enough t' quit when there ain't anything t' shoot at? Good Gawd!"
He turned then and, pausing with his rifle thrown half into position, looked at the blue line of his comrades. During this moment of leisure they seemed all to be engaged in staring with astonishment at him. They had become spectators. Turning to the front again he saw, under the lifted smoke, a deserted ground.
He looked bewildered for a moment. Then there appeared upon the glazed vacancy of his eyes a diamond point of intelligence. "Oh," he said, comprehending.
http://www.online-literature.com/view.php/redbadge/18
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 February 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/9/2006 7:39 PM
But on that day, that meeting, that I think was staged, was just a drop of water to a man dying of thirst. All it did was remind me that I needed water. I was hours away from dying of thirst and suddenly I remembered that I needed water. From then on, I wasn’t walking in despair, I was walking in defiance. I was defying those that were herding me over the edge. I continued walking because that was my plan, and part of the reason I went on that 25 mile walk was to see if something new would develop. It was just a shot in the dark. I was down to instinct, blind instinct. Just basic emotions at that point. Blind hope. But that observation there after I crossed that wooden bridge not far beyond the half-mile marker most certainly made all the difference that day. I was hoping for something more definitive but that was why I walked all that way instead of just driving over and parking in Gas Works Park and then jumping from Aurora Bridge. But, as tired as I was and I don’t know how long I had gone without a meal to that point. I had been one severely reduced rations to that point. But the despair was largely gone by the time I got down there and sat there for 24 hours waiting for something. I did not know what I was waiting for.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/9/2006 8:17 PM
And for that one person who was probably there to remind me, or rather to trigger some vague memory in my subconscious, of what I have to live for, there were probably a hundred, or maybe even a thousand, people out there during that time for absolutely no good purpose. They were zombies. They had absolutely no good intentions. They would not have given me the time of day if that would have saved my life. I hope you all rot in hell. But since there is no hell, I hope you rot on Earth. You are a waste of good oxygen.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 9 September 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/12/2006 10:54 AM
We wore plain clothes. That’s what that means. We wore plain clothes because we were covert operatives. We often wore plain clothes in combat environments. Sometimes we were confused as mercenaries. In Somalia, the locals probably confused us with the “technicals.”
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 September 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006 21:19:25 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kerry Burgess"
To: "Kerry Burgess"
Kerry Burgess wrote:
And I knew they were listening to me in my apartment in Kent, even during my starving period, because of something they did in response to something I wrote in my journal. I was writing about concerns I had of someone putting a bomb in my Jeep so that it exploded when I started it. Right after that, and inconspicuously coincidental, when I got in to start my Jeep, the people in the apartment next to mine stood out on the balcony in front of me. The next time after that when I got in to start my Jeep, a couple of kids walked up and asked me if I had a light, or maybe it was a smoke. The point was that if I thought my car would explode, why would I put these people in danger? Stuff like this has been happening for years. It's driving me nuts. Fortunately I am predisposed to be a person of good nature, otherwise I probably would have flipped out by now. And since I know that is what they are trying to make me do, I feel that I at least have control over some aspect of this nightmare.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 7 March 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006 21:19:25 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kerry Burgess"
To: "Kerry Burgess"
Kerry Burgess wrote:
And I wonder too about the flow of information in all this. I wonder how many people knew I was starving. The people listening to me knew, but were they telling anyone? Now that I think about it, I don't remember seeing that being echoed anywhere. I don't remember it being echoed while it was going on, but that may be because my mind wasn't working so great. I don't remember it being echoed later though. Maybe there is a real problem with information being restricted here. Anything that helps me is being ignored or suppressed while every little detail that could hurt me, as in giving the people more excuse to keep me under their thumb, is allowed and even encouraged. I have seen too many of those deliberately random acts of kindness from familar strangers to make me think that this shadow audience as a whole would let me starve. I just wish I could get some peace and quiet, some place I could relax for a while, to let my mind wander and drift and relax, anything for that.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 7 March 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006 21:19:25 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kerry Burgess"
To: "Kerry Burgess"
Which part of when does this end do you not understand???
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 7 March 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2006 15:21:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "Kerry Burgess"
Subject: good faith, bad faith
To: "Kerry Burgess"
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=good%20faith
good faith
honesty, fairness, and lawfulness of purpose : absence of any intent to defraud, act maliciously, or take unfair advantage
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?db=mwlaw&q=bad%20faith
bad faith
intentional deception, dishonesty, or failure to meet an obligation or duty
[They rousted people out in response to my concern about a car bomb, but then when I expressed in the same forum that I was starving and needed help, they did nothing to help. Their intention was, and is, only to harm me.]
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 6 March 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 9/12/2006 12:30 PM
That’s why I felt compelled to record in my journal last year that I was an FCCM conducting counter-terrorism operations. It was supposed to be an alarm for the people monitoring my computer. Except at the time, I had no idea that I was an officer. I was still deep into the mindset of the Kerry Burgess identity. Writing that I was a commissioned officer would have been giving away too much. My controller needed to signal that something needed to change because I was close to having to live out on the street. I am thinking now that I was part of the counter-terrorism group of Delta Force, maybe hostage rescue too. What did George W. Bush say when I made that journal entry; something about “unacceptable”?
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 September 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Sleep journal 2/21/06
In addition to those song lyrics this morning, I do remember a scene from one of my dreams. I was in a house, I didn't recognize it but it was really fancy and I guess I didn't recognize it because I had never lived in any place like it, or something like that. I was moving across the floor passing a staircase and I had a blanket over me, with an opening at the front so I could see where I was going. As I was moving towards a hallway, a pair of feet appeared in front of me. I think it was my mother. I was trying to make it to the hallway because I was hunting a deer, which made no sense because I was inside, and the hallway gave me a perfect shot to a deer that was at the other end of the hallway. I don't remember what my mother said, if anything, but sometime around that point, I remember someone telling me I was clever. I don't remember anything else happening in the dream after that.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 21 February 2006 excerpt ends]
[ Bill Gates-Microsoft-Corbis-Nazi the cowardly International Terrorist Organization violently against the United States of America federal government actively instigate insurrection and subversive activity against the United States of America federal government with all Bill Gates-Microsoft-Corbis-Nazi staff partners contributors employees contractors lawyers managers of any capacity as severely treasonous criminal accomplices and that are active unlawful obstructions, combinations, or assemblages, or rebellion against the authority of the United States that actively make it impracticable to enforce the laws of the United States in the United States and in the Severely Treasonous and Criminally Rebellious State of Washington by the ordinary course of judicial proceedings ]
2003 television miniseries "Battlestar Galactica" DVD video: [ RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 ]
Kellan Brody - television newscaster: We don't have any further information yet. There are no remaining ships able to leave Caprica. But no actual enemy has been sighted yet. Officials are saying there doesn't seem any doubt -
Gaius Baltar: What have I done? What am I going to do? There's no way out.
Caprica Number Six: I know.
Gaius Baltar: I'm sure you know. That's your doing, isn't it?
http://www.cswap.com/1991/Terminator_2:_Judgment_Day/cap/en/2_Parts/a/00_13
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
:13:22
This next patient is interesting.
:13:24
I've been following the case
for years.
:13:26
A 29-year-old female...
:13:30
diagnosed as acute
schizo-affective disorder.
:13:33
The usual indicators: depression,
anxiety, violent acting out...
:13:36
delusions of persecution.
:13:44
The delusional architecture
is fairly unique.
:13:47
The delusional architecture
is fairly unique.
:13:47
She believes that a machine
called the Terminator...
:13:50
which looks human,
was sent back through time...
:13:53
- to kill her.
- That's original.
