http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF07
Tennis the Menace
Original Airdate on FOX: 11-Feb-2001
Marge orders him to quit
% fooling around and get washed up for the old folks' talent show.
% "With pleasure," Bart says, and starts "playing" Beethoven's 5th
% Symphony on the faucets.
%
% The talent show at the Retirement Castle is pretty much what you'd
% expect -- various oldsters doing little performance acts. We drop
% in on a hip old comedian.
Comedian: You know what I can't open? Cabinets!
[laughter from the audience]
Abe: Can he say that?
http://www.excite.com/tv/prog.jsp?id=EP000186930279&s=201408261900&sid=82571&sn=FXXPHD&st=201408261930&cn=618
excite tv
The Simpsons (Repeat)
618 FXXPHD: Tuesday, August 26 7:30 PM [ 26 August 2014 Pacific Time USA ]
Sitcom, Animated
Tennis the Menace
Homer builds a tennis court in the back yard, but Homer becomes jealous of Bart's tennis skills and swears revenge at the Krusty Klassic.
Cast: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer Executive Producer(s): James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, David Mirkin
Original Air Date: Feb 11, 2001
DSC04488.JPG
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286106/quotes
IMDb
Signs (2002)
Quotes
Graham Hess: We're going to board up every window in this house.
Merrill: How do you know boards will do anything?
Graham Hess: Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors.
http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF07
Tennis the Menace
Original Airdate on FOX: 11-Feb-2001
We see Bart clawing at the lid of the casket]
Abe: [laughs] Look at him go.
Homer: That thing got picture-in-picture?
Director: Of course. This is the Contempo.
[demonstrates by switching channels to a basketball game. The picture of Bart shrinks to the upper right-hand corner]
Homer: Aw, geez. How come they never call traveling anymore?
% Of course, once you have your coffin, you need a place to bury it.
% The directory shows Homer and Abe around the cemetery. (Bart
% catches up a few seconds later.) In a deluxe area, the caskets are
% buried in fresh, unused graves, the monuments clean themselves, and
% the residents' survivors can avail themselves of an optional weeping
% widow service. If they do, a woman in a funeral dress stops by to
% wail for the deceased.
%
% Abe wants this to be his final resting place. Homer seems
% reluctant, but the funeral director intimates that God likes people
% who get a fancy send-off. Abe threatens Homer with a good haunting
% if Homer nickels-and-dimes Abe out of Heaven, and provides his son
% with a sample. Homer relents, and the group moves to the funeral
% director's office.
Director: [using an adding machine] Okay, with mole insurance, your total comes to $17,000.
Homer: What? Oh ...
Director: Or you could just toss him in the woods and let the wolves carry him off. It's really up to you. [turns his back to Homer and Abe]
Homer: Mr. Salesman?
Director: [obsequious] Yesss?
Homer: We're gonna go with the wolves.
[a pair of wolves gather by the director's window, growling]
Abe: Beat it!
[shakes his fist at them, and the wolves slink off]
Homer: Dad, I love you this much. [extends his arms] But that's just under 900 dollars. I wish I could go 17,000 but hmm? Hmm? [indicates his arms don't stretch farther]
Director: Sir, if I may, think of it as an investment in extravagance. The Mauso-Palooza can be seen from space. It will consume as much space as a regulation-size tennis court.
Homer: Tennis court, eh?
% Smash cut to the Simpsons' back yard, where workers are installing a
% regulation-size tennis court.
Abe: Aw, I can't believe we went through all that just to wind up with a tennis court.
- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 7:57 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Tuesday 26 August 2014
