Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"mole insurance"




http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF07

Tennis the Menace

Original Airdate on FOX: 11-Feb-2001


Marge orders him to quit
% fooling around and get washed up for the old folks' talent show.
% "With pleasure," Bart says, and starts "playing" Beethoven's 5th
% Symphony on the faucets.
%
% The talent show at the Retirement Castle is pretty much what you'd
% expect -- various oldsters doing little performance acts. We drop
% in on a hip old comedian.


Comedian: You know what I can't open? Cabinets!

[laughter from the audience]

Abe: Can he say that?










http://www.excite.com/tv/prog.jsp?id=EP000186930279&s=201408261900&sid=82571&sn=FXXPHD&st=201408261930&cn=618

excite tv


The Simpsons (Repeat)

618 FXXPHD: Tuesday, August 26 7:30 PM [ 26 August 2014 Pacific Time USA ]

Sitcom, Animated

Tennis the Menace

Homer builds a tennis court in the back yard, but Homer becomes jealous of Bart's tennis skills and swears revenge at the Krusty Klassic.

Cast: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer Executive Producer(s): James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, David Mirkin

Original Air Date: Feb 11, 2001



































DSC04488.JPG










http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286106/quotes

IMDb


Signs (2002)

Quotes


Graham Hess: We're going to board up every window in this house.

Merrill: How do you know boards will do anything?

Graham Hess: Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors.










http://www.simpsonsarchive.com/episodes/CABF07

Tennis the Menace

Original Airdate on FOX: 11-Feb-2001


We see Bart clawing at the lid of the casket]

Abe: [laughs] Look at him go.

Homer: That thing got picture-in-picture?

Director: Of course. This is the Contempo.

[demonstrates by switching channels to a basketball game. The picture of Bart shrinks to the upper right-hand corner]

Homer: Aw, geez. How come they never call traveling anymore?


% Of course, once you have your coffin, you need a place to bury it.
% The directory shows Homer and Abe around the cemetery. (Bart
% catches up a few seconds later.) In a deluxe area, the caskets are
% buried in fresh, unused graves, the monuments clean themselves, and
% the residents' survivors can avail themselves of an optional weeping
% widow service. If they do, a woman in a funeral dress stops by to
% wail for the deceased.
%
% Abe wants this to be his final resting place. Homer seems
% reluctant, but the funeral director intimates that God likes people
% who get a fancy send-off. Abe threatens Homer with a good haunting
% if Homer nickels-and-dimes Abe out of Heaven, and provides his son
% with a sample. Homer relents, and the group moves to the funeral
% director's office.

Director: [using an adding machine] Okay, with mole insurance, your total comes to $17,000.

Homer: What? Oh ...

Director: Or you could just toss him in the woods and let the wolves carry him off. It's really up to you. [turns his back to Homer and Abe]

Homer: Mr. Salesman?

Director: [obsequious] Yesss?

Homer: We're gonna go with the wolves.

[a pair of wolves gather by the director's window, growling]

Abe: Beat it!

[shakes his fist at them, and the wolves slink off]

Homer: Dad, I love you this much. [extends his arms] But that's just under 900 dollars. I wish I could go 17,000 but hmm? Hmm? [indicates his arms don't stretch farther]

Director: Sir, if I may, think of it as an investment in extravagance. The Mauso-Palooza can be seen from space. It will consume as much space as a regulation-size tennis court.

Homer: Tennis court, eh?


% Smash cut to the Simpsons' back yard, where workers are installing a
% regulation-size tennis court.

Abe: Aw, I can't believe we went through all that just to wind up with a tennis court.



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 7:57 PM Pacific Time Spokane Valley Washington USA Tuesday 26 August 2014