Saturday, June 30, 2007

Apollo 11 (1996) (TV)

33.333 months after 7/2/1976. I recognize the date 7/2/1976 as when I arrived at the comet and set to work at diverting it from striking the Earth.


Mad Max (1979)
Release Date: 12 April 1979 (Australia)

From 4/14/1977 to 5/9/1980 is: 3 years, 3 weeks, 4 days


Release dates for
Mad Max (1979)

USA 9 May 1980 (Los Angeles, California)

The duration of the first flight of the U.S. space shuttle was 4/12/1981 to 4/14/1981.

From 4/14/1981 to 8/7/1981 is: 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days

From 4/14/1981 to 8/28/1981 is: 4 months, 14 days

From 4/13/1981 to 12/10/1981 is: 3 days, 34 weeks

Release dates for
Gallipoli (1981)

Australia 7 August 1981 (Sydney) (premiere)
USA 28 August 1981
UK 10 December 1981

Phoebe was 33.34 years old on the premiere date of this television movie.

From 7/16/1963 to 11/17/1996 is: 33 years, 124 days
365 * 0.34 = 124
From 7/16/1963 to 11/17/1996 is: 33.34 years

Apollo 11 (1996) (TV)

Release Date: 17 November 1996 (USA)

Plot summary forApollo 11 (1996) (TV)

Fearful that the Russians would continue their lead in the space race and be the first to put a man on the moon, NASA felt an enormous pressure to push the Apollo Program forward as quickly as possible, though they knew that pushing too hard could lead to the ultimate disaster. This film recreates the tensions that were felt not only by the three astronauts, Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins, but also by their families and by the teams of technicians training to deal with anything that could go wrong. Written by Jean-Marc Rocher

Karen and Max

I have been thinking lately that Karen and Max were the names of hampsters that Phoebe had when she was a child. In my artificial and symbolic memory, they were parents of my girlfriend Rhonda Rochelle Ramsey.

If I have this figured out correctly, then my father has 5 sons and 2 daughters.

From 1/3/1956 to 3/3/1959 is: 3 years, 59 days

Mel Gibson
Date of Birth: 3 January 1956
"The Sullivans" (1976) TV Series .... Ray Henderson

From 3/4/1959 to 4/19/1997 is: 3 days, 1989 weeks

A pointer to March 1989 ?

Commissioned: 19 April 1997

USS The Sullivans (DDG-68), an Arleigh Burke-class "Aegis" guided missile destroyer, was the second ship of the United States Navy to be named for the five Sullivan brothers — George, Francis, Joseph, Madison, and Albert Sullivan, aged 19 to 27 — who lost their lives when their ship, USS Juneau, was sunk by a Japanese submarine in November 1942 in the Naval Battle of Guadalcanal. This was the greatest military loss by any one American family during World War II.

Al Qaeda attack attempt

Members of al-Qaeda attempted an attack on The Sullivans on January 3, 2000 as a part of the 2000 millennium attack plots. The plan was to load a boat full of explosives and explode near The Sullivans's hull. However the boat was so overladen that it sank, forcing the attack to be cancelled. Later, al-Qaida tried the same type of attack a second time. They successfully bombed Cole on 12 October 2000.

This guy was 3 days, 34 weeks, 35 years, old on 2/14/1986. I recognize the day 2/14/1986 as when I was shot down by anti-aircraft fire and was a Prisoner of War in Libya until I escaped on 4/14/1986.


There is the notion of the '35' and I still am not sure what it means precisely, but I think it has something to do with me leading the strike on the Osirak facility in Iraq on 6/7/1981. I think I went back on 6/8/1981 to bomb it again and was subsequently shot down after that second strike. Unlike in 1986 where I was held as prisoner in Libya, I escaped from Iraq after being shot down in 1981.

This notion of agriculture could also reflect something about burying someone in the ground.

Michael Owen Johanns (born June 18, 1950) is an American Republican politician. A former Governor of Nebraska, he serves as the 28th, and current, U.S. Secretary of Agriculture.

On December 2, 2004, Johanns was nominated by President George W. Bush to replace outgoing Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman. As a result, he scrapped plans to run against Democratic Senator Ben Nelson in 2006. Johanns was confirmed by the United States Senate on January 20, 2005, hours after Bush's second inauguration. He tendered his resignation as Governor of Nebraska on that day. On the next day he was sworn in.

Johanns is married to Stephanie Johanns, a former Lancaster County Commissioner and Nebraska State Senator. They have two children.

From 1/3/2000 to 12/2/2004 is: 4 years, 334 days

USS The Sullivans (DDG-68), an Arleigh Burke-class "Aegis" guided missile destroyer, was the second ship of the United States Navy to be named for the five Sullivan brothers — George, Francis, Joseph, Madison, and Albert Sullivan, aged 19 to 27 — who lost their lives when their ship, USS Juneau, was sunk by a Japanese submarine in November 1942 in the Naval Battle of Guadalcanal. This was the greatest military loss by any one American family during World War II.

Members of al-Qaeda attempted an attack on The Sullivans on January 3, 2000 as a part of the 2000 millennium attack plots. The plan was to load a boat full of explosives and explode near The Sullivans's hull. However the boat was so overladen that it sank, forcing the attack to be cancelled. Later, al-Qaida tried the same type of attack a second time. They successfully bombed Cole on 12 October 2000.

Federal prosecution charge against Dave Reichert: insurrection against the United States of America.

59-334 pointing to Phoebe's 18th birthday. I assume this represents they had found out around this time I was still alive and they were trying to get me back home to my wife.

From 3/21/1922 to 7/16/1981 is: 59 years, 3 months, 3 weeks, 4 days

Nomination of Richard P. Godwin To Be Under Secretary of Defense

August 1st, 1986

The President today announced his intention to nominate Richard P. Godwin to be Under Secretary of Defense for Acquisition. This is a new position.

Since 1980 Mr. Godwin has been president, Bechtel Civil and Minerals, Inc., in San Francisco, CA. Mr. Godwin has been with Bechtel since 1961, when he started as an executive engineer, and later he held the following positions: manager, scientific development department, 1962-1965; executive assistant to the chairman, Bechtel Group of Companies, 1965-1967; manager, research and scientific development, corporate planning, executive services, and computer departments, 1967-1971; vice president, Bechtel, Inc., and manager of division operations in the hydro and community facilities division, 1971-1973; deputy division manager and division manager, 1974-1976; director, Bechtel Group of Companies, 1976-1978; senior vice president, 1978-1979; and executive vice president and member of the executive committee, 19791980.
Mr. Godwin graduated from Yale University (B.E., 1945). He is married, has four children, and resides in San Francisco, CA. Mr. Godwin was born March 21, 1922, in Clifton, N.J.

Valerie Plame was 34 years, 330 days, old on 3/15/1998. That is the day I recognize as when I began this deployment to prosecute the insurgents in control of King County, Washington and their corrupted public official accomplices.

Valerie Plame Wilson (born Valerie Elise Plame April 19, 1963, in Anchorage, Alaska) is a former United States Central Intelligence Agency officer who held non-official cover (NOC) status prior to the public disclosure of her classified covert CIA identity in a syndicated American newspaper column

The Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982 (Pub.L. 97-200, 50 U.S.C. § 421-426) is a United States federal law that makes it a federal crime to intentionally reveal the identity of an agent who one knows to be in or recently in certain covert roles with a U.S. intelligence agency.

There is also something that has puzzled me about the similarity of the U.S. Navy AQD code and the Al Qaeda terrrorist group.

I sense that is part of the Microsoft-Corbis terrorist set up. I'm not sure about the letter 'D' though. But it could be because the 'D' is the 4th letter of the alphabet. The terrorist group is a real concern for those of us faithfully serving in the U.S. government, unlike George W. Bush and his terrorist accomplices. I believe he and his accomplices have only been helping the Al Qaeda terrorists by promoting their cause. There are probably a lot of extremists who had not heard of Al Qaeda until George W. Bush started preaching about them and then those extremists took up their cause. And George W. Bush was doing all that to deflect attention away from the terrorists in control of Microsoft-Corbis.

In the social security number for my official federal undercover identity, the middle number sequence is '17' which is the number of "Q" in the alphabet. In the primary speciality field of the DD-214 for my official federal undercover identity, subtracting 59 produces the billet code 1130. That means I am a regular commissioned U.S. Navy officer with U.S. Navy SEAL qualification.

In other words, I am a official federal undercover agent with the rank of U.S. Navy Captain (O-6), my billet number is 1130, and my AQD code is QE1 or QF1.


First Character: Q

AQD codes having the first character "Q" are used to modify 1130 billets and 113X officer designators when the billet requirements/officer qualifications pertain to the special warfare specialty.

These AQD codes are assigned to personnel by PERS-4.

Based on the age of Joseph Wayne Burgess, my father in my artificial and symbolic memory, who was buried in Morrison Cemetery in Noble County, Oklahoma, I assume that I began my official federal undercover identity on 6/28/1998.

My first day at Microsoft on 12/7/1998 was arranged by Microsoft. I can't remember the precise day they arranged for my interviews, but looking at the calendar, I think it was 19 November 1998. I didn't even contact anyone at Microsoft about employment; rather a Microsoft employee contacted me and suggested I come to work for Microsoft. I needed the work so I went through with the interviews. Microsoft chose my first day of employment as 12/7/1998. Not only is that date known as Pearl Harbor Day in the U.S., it was also the day Bill Gates commented in the newspapers that the U.S. federal government was out to destroy Microsoft.

On the date 1/27/2000, Scooter Libby, formerly of Dick Cheney's staff, was 593 months, 5 days, old. Libby - Libyan. Also on the date 1/27/2000, I had been working undercover at Microsoft for 59 weeks, 3 days, having started there on 12/7/1998. The date 1/27/2000 was 359 days before 1/20/2001, the day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney took office.

The World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked on 9/11/2001. That was 33 months, 4 days, after 12/7/1998, the first day of employment for me at Microsoft, as arranged by Microsoft.

The USS Cole DDG-67 was hit by terrorists on 10/12/2000, which was 334 days before the 9/11/2001 attacks.

This aircraft has 3-3-4 in the tail number:

American Airlines Flight 11 was the first flight hijacked in the September 11, 2001 attacks. It was an American Airlines flight aboard a Boeing 767-223ER aircraft, registration number N334AA

When I read about this hijacked aircraft, I recognized the Microsoft employee ID 75612 that Microsoft assigned to me on 12/7/1998, which was 33 months, 4 days, before 9/11/2001:

Flight 175
Tail number N612UA

United Airlines Flight 175 was a morning flight that regularly flew from Logan International Airport in East Boston, Massachusetts to Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) in Los Angeles, California (Boston–Los Angeles route). On September 11, 2001, the United Airlines Boeing 767-222, registered N612UA

This aircraft had the '591' in the registration number on the tail:

United Airlines Flight 93 was a regular flight from Newark International Airport (now known as Newark Liberty International Airport) in Newark, New Jersey, to San Francisco International Airport, then continuing on to Narita International Airport in Tokyo, Japan, on a different aircraft. On September 11, 2001, the United Airlines Boeing 757-222, registered N591UA

The pilot of Flight 77 that went into the Pentagon was 3459 days older than I am.

From 9/12/1949 to 3/3/1959 is: 3459 days

Charles Frank "Chic" Burlingame III (September 12, 1949 - September 11, 2001) was the pilot of American Airlines Flight 77, the aircraft that was crashed by terrorists into the Pentagon during the September 11, 2001 attacks.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Communist Interrogations

Thu, 2/16/06 11:25 AM

The stimulants, in general, have the effect of increasing wakefulness and alertness at the expense of creating tremulousness, feelings of anxiety and overactivity. Caffein, benzedrine, and dexedrine fall into this category. There are a number of derivatives of benzedrine which have essentially the same action. "Aktedron," a synthetic benzedrine derivative, has been used in Czechoslovakia and Southeast Europe. Coffee and Benzedrine derivatives are sometimes administered to tired or sleepy prisoners in order to wake them up enough so that the interrogation can be carried on. They have been used in this manner in Eastern Europe, in Russia, and in China. In and of themselves they have no important effect in producing confessions. Used in combination with a system of psychological and physiological pressures they will in many cases accelerate and exacerbate the profound fatigue, confusion, loss of critical judgment, and breakdown of resistance which is a consequence of the full course of control techniques.

[I was suspecting back with I worked at Microsoft that someone was drugging my coffee.]
I was thinking the other day, as whoever listens to me in the bathroom knows, about a situation 20 years ago when I was face-to-face with the Soviet Navy.

Ah, I remember now, it was after Bush was talking about how he thought the oceans would protect us. I thought out loud that he should have been with me in 1985 off the coast of Texas. And then that reminded me of something I read about Bush filling the role of a Soviet bomber during a training exercise with his fighter squadron. Doesn't make sense.

Anyway, I was thinking about how we had our names on our uniforms. We were close enough to them that they could probably read our names with telephoto lenses. I wonder if they would use that information to try to recruit spies, similar to the Walker spy ring that was going on back then. Then I remember something peculiar a year or two later. When I was in school at Dam Neck, someone commented that my security badge had a different color background on my photo. I didn't know what it meant. A different security level? So then I began to wonder the other day if maybe our spies had picked up their spies mentioning our names, taken from that expedition in 1985. I also wondered how often the Soviets had ships off our coast, especially the Gulf Coast. I remember someone saying they could easily launch a cruise missile strike on Dallas from there and I remember thinking of what that would do to those skyscrapers.

These are mean-looking mothers:

SS-N-12 Sandbox is a Russian supersonic speed cruise missile with a range of 550 km carrying a payload of 1,000 kg

For years, when we grew up -- at least us baby boomers grew up -- we thought that oceans would protect us from harm's way. And then we learned a solemn lesson on that day. We learned the lesson that there is an enemy which hates us because of what we stand for. Because we love freedom, because we value freedom, because we work for free societies, there's an enemy which is willing to inflict harm. The enemy also is the kind of enemy we've really never faced before because they're willing to kill innocent women and children and men of all religions in order to affect our psychology.

[Just what was it about the ocean that would protect us from Soviet bombers and missiles? And then he's talking about some new enemy that hates us, what did he think we needed defense from the Soviets for?]

served as an F-102 fighter pilot in the Texas Air National Guard.

[I wonder if he knows Ballmer personally?]

President Bush received a Master of Business Administration from Harvard Business School in 1975.

"William Campenni, a retired Guard pilot, served with Mr. Bush in the 111th. He remembers a training flight over the Gulf during which the future president mimicked a Soviet bomber.

Remarks by Telephone

Remarks by Telephone to the Annual Convention of the Knights of Columbus in Chicago, Illinois

August 5th, 1986

Thank you all, and good afternoon. There are far too many distinguished members and friends of the Knights of Columbus with you today for me to recognize them all, but permit me to extend my greetings to Your Excellencies and, of course, to the leader of the Knights of Columbus, my friend, Supreme Knight Virgil Dechant. I believe you know we're trying out a new technology today—one with a hookup that will enable me to hear you, as you've been told, if you laugh or applaud. And I thought the best way to test it would be to tell an old story. So, if you'll permit me.

It has to do with a young fellow that arrived in New York Harbor from Ireland, an immigrant to our country. And a short time later, he started across one of those busy New York streets against the light. And one of New York's finest, a big policeman, grabbed him and said, "Where do you think you're going? .... Well," he says, "I'm only trying to get to the other side of the street there." Well, when that New York policeman, Irish himself, heard that brogue, "Well," he said, "Now, lad, wait." He says, "You stay here until the light turns green, and then you go to the other side of the street." "Aah," he says, "the light turns green." Well, the light turned orange for just a few seconds, as it does, and then turned green, and he started out across the street. He got about 15 feet out and he turned around, and he says, "They don't give them Protestants much time, do they?" [Laughter]

Hey, you know, this system does work. [Laughter] But I want to tell you that I've had a place in my heart for the Knights of Columbus since I was a boy. You see, my father was a Knight, and he never missed an opportunity to express his pride in the K of C or join in its efforts on behalf of charity and tolerance. I can still remember when the silent picture "Birth of a Nation" opened in our hometown. Dad told us that the movie portrayed the Ku Klux Klan in a favorable light and that the Reagans were one family that wouldn't be seeing it. Well, even as a boy, I sensed that in taking that stand my father had done something strong and good, something noble. And you know, to this day I've never seen that famous movie.

Since becoming President, my appreciation for the Knights of Columbus has deepened. You can't sit where I'm sitting now and fail to understand the importance of Americans who give as much to our nation as you do. Last year alone the Knights donated over $66 million to good causes, provided more than 20 million hours of volunteer community service, responded generously to OPERATION: Care and Share, and contributed $1 million to the restoration of the Statue of Liberty. And then there are the scores of neighborhoods throughout the country where the Knights have provided a playground, a basketball court, a football field. Just the other day our Secretary of Education, Bill Bennett, remarked that when he was growing up in Brooklyn, none of the kids used the words "swimming pool," they just told their parents they'd be down at the K of C.

The Birth of a Nation (1915)

Release Date: 3 March 1915 (USA)

I recognize the date 11/28/1976 as when I left the Jupiter moon Callisto for my 4/14/1977 return to Earth. After successfully diverting the comet earlier in 1976, we thought Callisto would be my final stop as my oxygen supply was almost depleted. I found water ice on Callisto and was able to make it back to Earth. This reference by President Reagan about Secretary of Education, Bill Bennett, would seem to support my thoughts that I had found a telephone to call into the Navy after I escaped from the Libyans on 4/14/1986.

From 7/31/1943 to 11/28/1976 is: 33 years, 3 months, 4 weeks


William John Bennett (born July 31, 1943) is an American conservative pundit and politician. He served as United States Secretary of Education from 1985 to 1988.

3rd United States Secretary of Education

In office

February 6, 1985 – September 20, 1988

President Ronald Reagan


It could be that I managed to find a telephone somewhere in Africa in the months after I escaped the Libyans on 4/14/1986. I managed to get a call in to the Navy and tell them where I was. I might have even called Phoebe and told her I was somewhere....lost somewhere. Maybe I told her I was in Mexico. She got me through to the Navy but my call was intercepted by the enemy and they blocked my rescue somehow. They either had me captured again or they drove me away from the rescue area and then I was out of touch again for a long time. The funeral service on 11/25/1986 was a diversion. I'm not sure what Phoebe knew, but she was probably following the script that was created because the enemy surely watching her too. I think she was convinced all along that I was still alive but she didn't know for certain. This is all probably why I "remember" that letter from Phoebe Bailey in 1987 that she was going to marry someone from Mexico. I have a few artificial and symbolic memories of Thedia going on vacation a lot to Mexico. Phoebe and I could have also taken some vacations in Mexico. Damnit. Why do I have to be so selfish about her. And now I've been tricked into revealing how much I care about her so it doesn't matter if I let her go. They could still target her to get at me and they would know that would hurt me regardless of whether we were together.

From 10/20/1918 to 12/15/1978 is: 3138 weeks, 5 days

A pointer to 3-13-86?

From 4/14/1986 to 8/14/1986 is: 122 days
365 * 0.3359 = 122

Nomination of Charles J. Pilliod, Jr., To Be United States Ambassador to Mexico

August 14th, 1986

The President today announced his intention to nominate Charles J. Pilliod, Jr., of Ohio, as Ambassador to Mexico. He would succeed John A. Gavin.

Mr. Pilliod was born October 20, 1918

USS Stark FFG-31

I wrote a long time ago that when all this bullshit was over, I was moving to New York. Along with the Saturn moon Phoebe landing of 6/7/1976 connection I wrote about with Julia Roberts, this is another reason for the Julie I wrote of:

Phoebe Cates
AKA Phoebe Belle Katz
Born: 16-Jul-1963
Birthplace: New York City
University: Juilliard School (dropped out)

I recognize the date 6/7/1976 as when I landed on the Saturn moon Phoebe. Julia Roberts is only 8 days off from creating a mid-point clue to that date.

From 3/3/1959 to 6/7/1976 is: 6306 days
6306 / 2 = 3153
From 10/28/1967 to 6/7/1976 is: 3145 days
3153 - 3145 = 8 days

Julia Roberts
Date of Birth: 28 October 1967
Conspiracy Theory (1997) .... Alice Sutton

Phoebe was 34 years, 3 weeks, 3 days, old the day after this movie premiered, which I believe was intentional and the closest possible to creating a '3334' artistic device.

Conspiracy Theory (1997)

Release Date: 8 August 1997 (USA)

Further support that Phoebe and I were arranged to be married; probably before we were even born.

From 12/2/1914 to 3/3/1959 is: 44 years, 13 weeks
From 3/3/1959 to 7/16/1963 is: 4 years, 4 months, 13 days


Ray Walston
Date of Birth: 2 December 1914

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) .... Mr. Hand
"My Favorite Martian" .... Uncle Martin / ... (107 episodes, 1963-1966)

From 5/21/1957 to 7/20/1969 is: 4443 days
From 3/3/1959 to 7/16/1963 is: 4 years, 4 months, 13 days
13 / 30 = 0.43
From 3/3/1959 to 7/16/1963 is: 4 years, 4.43 months


Judge Reinhold
Date of Birth: 21 May 1957
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) .... Brad Hamilton

ID: DN-SC-04-15227

Service Depicted: Navy

A US Navy (USN) A-6E TRAM (Target Recognition Attack Multi-sensor) Intruder, Attack Squadron 52 (VA-52), Knightriders, Naval Air Station (NAS) Miramar, California (CA), an instant from clearing the deck of the USN Nimitz Class Aircraft Carrier USS CARL VINSON (CVN 70). The Intruder is armed with four racks of six each Mk-81 250-pound Low Drag General Purpose (LDGP) bombs.

Camera Operator: PH2 CURTIS F. LAWS, USN
Date Shot: 1 Oct 1985

This actress was 33 years, 4.59 months, old on 4/14/1986. I recognize that date 4/14/1986 as when I escaped the Libyan prison where I was captive. My family thought I had been killed that day when the prison was bombed.

Merkerson portrayed the fiancee of the U.S. Navy SEAL operative that was killed in the 1990 "Navy SEALs."

S. Epatha Merkerson
Date of Birth: 28 November 1952
Navy Seals (1990) .... Jolena

I recognize the date 4/30/1982 as when I graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy. The release date of the 1990 "Navy SEALs" forms a connection as described below:

From 3/3/1959 to 7/20/1990 is: 11462 days
From 7/16/1963 to 4/30/1982 is: 6863 days
6863 / 11462 = 0.59

Release date(s) July 20, 1990

Navy SEALs is a 1990 film, directed by Lewis Teague. The writers were Chuck Pfarrer and Gary Goldman. Produced by Brenda Feigen and Bernard Williams with consultant William Bradley.

This album was released 33 months, 3 days, after the USS Stark FFG-31 was hit on 5/17/1987, but I think that "When The Lights Go Out" has something to do with me escaping that Libyan prison on 4/14/1986.

From 5/17/1987 to 2/20/1990 is: 33 months, 3 days

Released February 20, 1990

Dark at the End of the Tunnel is the sixth studio album by Oingo Boingo, released in 1990. It is the first collection of all new material released by the band since their 1987 album BOI-NGO. It is also notable as the first record to find the band shying away from the previously heavy use of New Wave elements with more emphasis on a heavy, Modern Rock sound.

Track listing

"When The Lights Go Out"
"Out Of Control"
"Glory Be"
"Long Breakdown"
"Flesh 'N Blood"
"Run Away (The Escape Song)"
"Dream Somehow"
"Is This"
"Right To Know"
"Try To Believe"

Oingo Boingo
When The Lights Go Out

When the lights go out
Everybody has fun
When the lights go out
Everybody runs to a safe place
When the lights go out
Everybodys afraid
When the lights go out
Everybody starts to pray
Starts to pray

Monsters & madmen
All come alive
When the dead start walking
Theres no place to hide
Theres no place to hide

Hey--lets turn the night into day
Lets start a fire in an alley way
Lets all go crazy by & by
And lets all pray to the cats eye

No one can be trusted, when the lights go out
People act real crazy, people start to shout
People huddle together, try and hide their fear
People party down by they aint goin nowhere
They aint goin nowhere

Gonna run outside
Whats there to see
Just one big shadow there to comfort me
There to comfort me . . . there to comfort me


Just common folks like you and me
Turn into mobs that get so crazy
Prowl the streets like cats
Out for the hunt
Breaking all the windows just because its fun
Just because its fun, just because its fun


And it was Rhonda Ramsey that asked me out that first time. I can't "remember" where we went on our first date. Taking her to the drive-in in Texarkana to see "An Officer And A Gentleman" may have been our first date, but I'm not certain. I "remember" the windows in my blue 1967 Chevrolet pickup had fogged up and I wrote out that "I love Rhonda Rochelle Ramsey" on the window, which she seemed to like, and it probably a symbolic representation of the course of my romantic relationship with Phoebe over the years. I think me writing out that message on the window is symbolic of me creating the movie "An Officer And A Gentleman" and how it relates to Phoebe and me, assuming that was my work. In my artifical and symbolic memory, Rhonda's parents were great and we all got along very well. Karen and Max were their names. Rhonda worked at Mills Store with me but what I think that represents is that Phoebe and I started dating while I was at the U.S. Naval Academy, although we had been friends for a lot longer. Rhonda gave me some kind of gag Christmas gift one time that was something to do with deer hunting. I can still "remember" her laughing. I liked her. Another time, she was giving me a hard time about me eating the cookies that were sit out next to me as I was dressed up as Santa Claus at Mills Store.


One who makes use of or reproduces the work of another without authorization.

One that operates an unlicensed, illegal television or radio station.

To take (something) by piracy.

To make use of or reproduce (another's work) without authorization.

to take or appropriate by piracy; especially : to copy, distribute, or use without authorization esp. in infringement of copyright

Remarks at El Centro Naval Air Station, California

January 3rd, 1986

Ladies and gentlemen, I can't tell you what this welcome means to me. And I know so many that had a hand in it—all of you here at the El Centro naval facility, members of the Navy League, and the Fleet Reserve Association. I'd like to say a special greeting, also, to Congressman Duncan Hunter and Mika Camarena, whose husband gave his life for all of us in the fight against the drug traffic. And my thanks to the Holtville Band. I think you're well known to some of them here.

Well, this is, as I say, a very great welcome. I know that the El Centro naval facility is not only a great training center here for all of our Navy pilots but is the winter home of the Blue Angels, host to the Royal Air Force Falcons. There's only one thing, as an old ex-horse cavalryman: How come this Navy facility is out here in the desert? May I just say to all of you—and I know that time is of the essence and I must get in this and cross the border—may I just say that of all the things that one can find to be proud of in a position such as mine, nothing has made me more proud than the men and women in uniform in our Armed Forces. God bless you all. And every time I read some things like Mr. Qadhafi sounding off the way he does, I just think to myself about all of you, and I can't be bothered with Mr. Qadhafi.But again, God bless you all. Thank you all for being out here. This is very heartwarming. I'm most grateful. Thank you.

Note: The President spoke at 10:01 a.m. at Hangar 4 of the naval air station, before departing for his meeting with President De la Madrid Hurtado in Mexicali, Mexico. In his closing remarks, he referred to Libyan Chief of State Mu'ammar Qadhafi.

ID: DN-SC-86-05703
Service Depicted: Navy

An MD-3A tow tractor is used to maneuver an A-6E Intruder aircraft, left, on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS SARATOGA (CV 60) during operations off the coast of LIBYA. On the right are F-14A Tomcat aircraft and in the center background are A-7E Corsair II aircraft.

Date Shot: 12 Feb 1986

I can't read the full text on that t-shirt from 1986. Something similar to:

"U.S. Navy responds"
"follow me" image of F-14 Tomcat "or else"
"when Tomcats" something "terrorists" something. I guess that last part reads "listen."

ID: DN-SC-86-12423
Service Depicted: Navy

Ship's Serviceman Seaman Bret Burrow workd in the ship's store aboard the aircraft carrier USS SARATOGA (CV 60) during operations off the coast of LIBYA.

Camera Operator: PH1 WILLIAM H. DODGE
Date Shot: 1 Mar 1986

ID: DN-SC-88-01699
Service Depicted: Navy

Aviation ordnancemen from Attack Squadron 55 (VA-55) attach a bomb rack to the wing of an A-6E Intruder aircraft on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS CORAL SEA (CV 43). The aircraft is being prepared for an air strike against targets in LIBYA.

Camera Operator: PH3 TROY SUMMERS

Date Shot: 14 Apr 1986

Apollo 11

There are 11 people in this photo plus Neal and the Colonel to the right side. The Colonel isn't wearing a helmet.

070627-N-3642E-559 PUERTO BARRIOS, Guatemala (June 27, 2007) - Secretary of the Navy (SECNAV) The Honorable Dr. Donald C. Winter looks at a swing set being repaired by Seabees assigned to Construction Battalion Maintenance Unit (CBMU) 202. The Seabees are working at a children's hospital in Puerto Barrios as part of a Partnership for the Americas mission to conduct training and humanitarian assistance operations. CBMU-202 is deployed with the joint forces crew aboard Military Sealift Command (MSC) hospital ship USNS Comfort (T-AH 20). Comfort is on a humanitarian deployment to Latin America and the Caribbean region to provide medical treatment to approximately 85,000 patients in a dozen countries. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Mass Communication Specialist Shawn P. Eklund (RELEASED)

I just read this a few minutes ago after finding it on the internet and it sure sounds a lot like what I wrote about the front wheel popping off my blue 1967 Chevrolet in my artificial and symbolic memory. It also reminds me of something I wrote long ago about a visit I made to the USS Taylor FFG-50 in 1987 when the ship was in-port in Norfolk and I was attending school in Virginia Beach, having been previously assigned to the Taylor. Since those "memories" are all completely false and artificial, there must be a reason I "remember" them. In that "memory" of visiting the Taylor, one of my former coworkers was telling me about how a target drone missile had crashed into the superstructure of the ship and someone had to go up there with a fire extinquisher and put out the fire. When I wrote about how the wheel of my truck popped off just before I crossed over a wooden bridge, I believe that bridge is symbolic of the forward edge of the flight deck. I don't know if this description below was me, as this type of accident may be relatively common, if you understand the nature of a catapult launch from an aircraft carrier. That text also reminds me very clearly of a time at night when Micheal was in a tree in the yard and I was trying to find him. It was kind of game of hide-and-seek using walkie-talkies. It took him a while to figure out that I was turning off my walkie-talkie as he would speak and then I would hear where his voice was coming from.

Broken Launch Bar Linkage

The USS Forrestal (CV-59) was on its last operational cruise in the Med in 1990. We were conducting night flight ops off the coast of Turkey in support of Operation Provide Comfort. I had just shutdown my aircraft and was walking across the flight deck when the sound of snapping metal amidst a Tomcat launch off the port waist cat caught my attention. I turned to see the F-14 sliding sideways towards the edge of the flight deck. Apparently a component of the launch bar had snapped midway through the catapult stroke sequence, giving the Tomcat only a gentle push (approx. 20-30 knots) instead of the huge kick in the butt required to get the aircraft up to flying speed. The pilot had immediately realized something was wrong, and in a split second reacted to attempt to hit the brakes and stop prior to falling off the edge into the ocean 80 feet below. As they approached the edge, a tire blew sending the F-14 sliding sideways, and the pilot judged they wouldn't stop in time and initiated ejection. As the pilot and RIO rode the seat rails up into the night, one of the F-14s main landing gear jumped the deck edge rail but miraculously stuck just over the edge, and the aircraft remained perched precariously partially over the deck edge. The RIO was soon sighted landing further aft on the flight deck, and although he received some bumps, bruises and scrapes from his ejection and rough landing on the flight deck, he was was happy to walk away from it with a good story to tell that night over midrats. Meanwhile, a full scale search was underway for the pilot. The airborne SAR helicopter had witnessed the ejection and was on the scene so rapidly that the image of the RIO floating down in his parachute canopy nearly filled their windscreen as they whipped across the fantail. They quickly set up for an approach to the datum, and commenced a hover search. Flight operations were suspended and all airborne aircraft were given instructions to hold overhead (or expeditiously recovered if low on fuel). Fifteen minutes later there was still no sign of the pilot. As the search proceeded with additional helicopters and ships in the area, the flight deck began to quiet down. An alert deck hand thought he heard a faint cry for help, but didn't see anything over the deck edge. The sound of yelling for help persisted, and suddenly the deck hand looked up, and with the aid of his flashlight, was able to make out the shape of the pilot hanging from his parachute 100 feet above him in the radio antennaes and masts at the top of the carrier's superstructure. Although the recovery of the pilot took an additional half hour, he was recovered uninjured.

ID: DN-SC-87-06289
Service Depicted: Navy

An MD-3A tow tractor is used to tow an F-14A Tomcat aircraft to the catapult track on the flight deck of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER (CVN 69).

Date Shot: 1 Mar 1983

ID: DN-SC-90-04805
Service Depicted: Navy

A sailor drives an MD-3A tow tractor across the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER (CVN-69).

Camera Operator: PH3 STEVEN C. HURD

Date Shot: 27 Apr 1983

ID: DN-SC-94-01306 Service Depicted: Navy

An enlisted flight-deck director guides and F-14A TOMCAT aircraft of Fighter Squadron 101 (VF-101) onto the number one catapult onboard the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON (CVN-73) during carrier qualifications off the Virginia Capes. Other flight deck crewmen check the aircraft's WHEEL alignment with the catapult track.

Camera Operator: PETER B. MERSKY

Date Shot: 16 Sep 1993

Friday, June 29, 2007


The AIM-9 Sidewinder is a heat-seeking, short-range, air-to-air missile carried by fighter aircraft and recently, certain gunship helicopters. It is named after the Sidewinder snake, which detects its prey via body heat and also because of the peculiar snake-like path of flight the early versions had when launched.The Sidewinder was the first truly effective air-to-air missile, widely imitated and copied; yet its variants and upgrades remain in active service with many air forces after 5 decades. When a Sidewinder missile is being launched, NATO pilots use the brevity code Fox Two in radio communication, as with all rear-aspect, or "heat seeking" missiles.

Compromised technology

The Taiwan Strait battles inadvertently produced a new derivative of Sidewinder: shortly after that conflict the Soviet Union began the manufacture of the K-13/R-3S missile (NATO reporting name AA-2 'Atoll'), a reverse-engineered copy of the Sidewinder. It was made possible after a Taiwanese AIM-9B hit a Chinese MiG-17 without exploding; amazingly, the missile struck the MiG-17 and became lodged within the airframe, and the pilot was able to return to base with the missile. According to Ron Westrum in his book "Sidewinder", the Soviets obtained the plans for Sidewinder from a Swedish Colonel and rushed their version into service by 1961 copying it so closely that even the parts numbers were duplicated. Years later, Soviet engineers would admit that the captured Sidewinder served as a "university course" in missile design and substantially improved Soviet and allied air-to-air capabilities. The K-13 and its derivatives remained in production for nearly 30 years. In the 1960s, the possession of the K-13 in the Soviet arsenal caused major changes in the USAF bombing tactics, forcing bombers from high-altitudes down to lower levels, below enemy radar coverage.

The 9K34 Strela-3 man-portable air defence missile system (MANPADS) was developed in the Soviet Union as a response to the poor performance of the earlier 9K32 Strela 2 (SA-7 Grail) system. "9K34" is its GRAU designation. And its NATO reporting name is SA-14 Gremlin. The missile was largely based on the earlier Strela 2, and thus development proceeded rapidly. The new weapon was accepted to service in the Soviet Army in January 1974.

The most significant change was the introduction of an all-new infra-red homing seeker head. The new seeker worked on FM modulation (con-scan) principle, which is less vulnerable to jamming and decoy flares than the earlier AM (spin-scan) seekers, which were easily fooled by flares and even the most primitive infrared jammers. Most importantly, the new seeker also introduced detector element cooling in the form of a pressurized nitrogen bottle attached to the launcher.

A gremlin is a folkloric creature, commonly depicted as mischievous and mechanically oriented with a specific interest in aircraft. Their origin is found in myths among airmen, claiming that the gremlins were responsible for sabotaging aircraft. In later times, different fantastical creatures have been referred to as gremlins, bearing varying degrees of resemblance to the original gremlins.

A squirrel is a small or medium-sized rodent of the family Sciuridae. In the English-speaking world, it commonly refers to members of this family's genera Sciurus and Tamiasciurus, which are tree squirrels that have large bushy tails, and are indigenous to Europe, Asia and the Americas. Similar genera are found in Africa.

The Sciuridae family also include flying squirrels, as well as ground squirrels such as the chipmunks, prairie dogs, and woodchucks. Members of the unrelated family Anomaluridae are sometimes misleadingly referred to as "scaly-tailed flying squirrels".

ID: DN-SC-91-02807
Service Depicted: Navy

A Fighter Squadron 114 (VF-114) F-14A Tomcat aircraft banks to the left after being launched from the No. 3 CATAPULT on the flight deck of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN (CVN-72).

ID: DN-SN-84-02121
Service Depicted: Navy

An aerial starboard view of the forward section of the Kitty Hawk class aircraft carrier USS CONSTELLATION (CV 64), as an A-6E INTRUDER aircraft begins to bank to the left after a catapult assisted takeoff from the flight deck.

Camera Operator: PH1 DAVE MACLEAN

Date Shot: 1 Jul 1980

ID: DN-SC-90-04200
Service Depicted: Air Force

A Fighter Squadron 41 (VF-41) F-14A Tomcat aircraft is launched from the No. 3 waist catapult on the flight deck of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN-72) as another Tomcat aircraft waits on the No. 1 catapult. At lower right, an MD-3A tow tractor pulls a third Tomcat into position.

Camera Operator: PH3 GARY WARD
Date Shot: 20 Jan 1990

ID: DN-ST-85-07147
Service Depicted: Navy

An F-4 Phantom II aircraft from Fighter Squadron 161 (VF-161) is prepared for launch from a catapult aboard the aircraft carrier USS MIDWAY (CV-41). The aircraft is armed with an AIM-9 Sidewinder missile.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Fri, 5/19/06 10:02 AM

What was the name of that Navy air base near where I was going to school at Dam Neck? I believe it was Oceania, which is similar to the name of the airline in Lost.

I've got this memory in my head, and I'm not sure anymore if any of this is true, any event and persons, of something a classmate wrote in my 1984 senior class book. She wrote something about me being the "top guy" in the Navy. That's one letter off from "Top Gun." I've got this crazy idea that I wasn't in the Navy, rather I was a pilot, perhaps in the Marines, which is a sub-organization of the Navy. I still don't believe that is true, but those are the ideas that are building in my head. It is consistent with that TNG episode where Picard goes from a glamorous life as the captain of a starship to being a junior-level crewmember. A similar experience in modern terms would be going from being a fighter pilot, a Marine captain perhaps, to being a low-level computer guy. It fits. I still don't believe it, and I'm kinda hoping now that it is true, but I don't know. Just seems too far-fetched. Too good to be true.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 24, 2006

The town I remember growing up in, De Queen, Arkansas, is remarkably similar to that town in the 1985 movie Back To The Future. I think there must be some symbolism to my memory that the movie theatre there in downtown near the town square burned down at some point. I think it is also symbolic my memory of growing up in a trailer park virtually in the shadow of a drive-in movie theatre screen. And, in the BTTF, when Marty is in 1955, the movie marquee displays Ronald Reagan in Cattle Queen of Montana, which may be why De Queen was chosen for my artificial life.

As I read yesterday, the Gilbert and Sullivan play HMS Pinafore is about two people switched at birth and about the effect of social standing in their society. It is relevant in this case because, while I don't believe in many of the precepts of social standing, I am getting the impression that my life may be a lot more different than what I think it is. I am still wavering on the ideas that my memories are real, but I don't know. I have given a lot of thought to how something like this could be done to someones mind, and I think, with no knowledge to support it, that I have been brainwashed.

That letter from the owner of Ketterman's was described as an Honorable Mention. I wondered why it wasn't more. Later, when I was in Memphis, that would have been '92, I was talking to one of my coworkers there about my suggestion and while it is trivial by itself, it may be an important clue in the context of these new revelations, he commented "that was you?" That seems to be important for some reason but I don't understand why. There are a lot of little things like this that tug at my mind. They sent me a coffee mug with the corporate logo on it for that H.M. suggestion. My favorite coffee mug back then had the ships crest of the USS Taylor.

When I got back from the PG in 1988, or so my memory goes, I went back to Arkansas to visit my mother. I was out driving around in town one evening hoping to run into some of my friends from high school. I didn't see anyone but I did meet a new girl and I ended staying with her for a while as well as staying pretty drunk. I don't now think she is a real person, but I remember her from high school although I didn't know her at the time, she graduated two years before me, which is probably an important clue as she might represent someone else I knew in my real life. I was watching the movie Escape From New York the other day and I realized this girl, initials J.B., had similar looks to Adrienne Barbeau from that movie. She worked for the local doctor's office. And she probably saved my life, I remember how badly I was feeling at the time. I was certainly grateful for her companionship.

There is something about 1985 that tugs at my mind too. I remember going to Oklahoma for my father's funeral, I think it was in Morrison, OK. When did he die? I remember it was August 1985, but I'm not sure of the day. I think I get the day of his birth mixed up with the day he died. One was the 4th, the other was the 8th. I think. I think he died on the 8th. I've got some kind of document from the funeral that has it on it, but I lost it with my other stuff.

I remember I was very dark at my fathers funeral because I had been out to sea in the Caribbean and had been outside a lot. I wore my dress blue enlisted Navy uniform to the funeral. I think I was complaining about being hot and my Uncle James said something about me wanting to be "a soldier." I remember thinking he should know that I am a sailor, not a soldier.

In the spirit of the Tapestry episode from TNG, I imagine that the woman I remember as my ex-wife is actually Julia Roberts. I have no idea if that is true or not, but it would be a perfect fit. When I caught part of the movie Flatliners the other day, I remembered that Roberts hair was similar to my ex-wife's. It was also around the same time as that movie came out that I was married.

I'm getting bored with this. I could write this stuff for another thousand years and

There was a lot of other stuff I wrote down last night. I don't care anymore about writing about it or I am just too tired because I can't get any sleep in this damned place. Looking back through my notes, I thought it important to note that my best friend on the Wainwright was from Hollywood, FL. I think he went to Hollywood High School, outside Miami. My ex-wife, along with other symbolic references, had the initials T.C. I am wondering today if that was supposed to be some humorous connection to Tom Cruise. I remember my friend writing in my high school yearbook about me being "top guy" in the Navy. Is it possible that I was some kind of advisor to Cruise when he was filming Top Gun? I have a lot of memories of seeing F-14's in 1985, but they are explainable because in my memory, we were escorting a carrier during that time, where our function was to extract pilots that went into the water after take off. I have a memory of me and a buddy on the Taylor. We were standing on the flight deck of the Taylor after helo exercises. His nickname was "Fonzie." My friend on the Wainwright, from Hollywood, got out of the Navy before me, in '88 or '89, and was working as a bartender. He worked very hard to get kicked out of the Navy because he didn't want to complete the extra 2 years all of us in the FC occupation had agreed to do because of the length of the training the Navy gave us. I don't think this person actually exists, but I did talk to a person I thought was him sometime around 2000 when I was at Microsoft. I found it strange that his name disappeared from the website at some point.

In my memory, when I returned from the PG in 1988, my girlfriend broke up with me shortly after I returned. Her last name was Busch, although I'm not sure of the spelling. Someone was telling me a while, something knowing, that my girlfriend really loved me. That was very odd. I can't remember who this person was that I was talking to, but I am very certain she knew, or should have known nothing about me from that time period. So how could she seem to know something like that? And the question, of course, the big question after that conversation, was then why the hell did she break up with me? Over the past few days though, I have put that memory, as well as some of the unexplained emotions around it, into the context of that movie Cast Away. Something seems right about that, but I can't explain it. I may just be crazy.



070627-N-3642E-559 PUERTO BARRIOS, Guatemala (June 27, 2007) - Secretary of the Navy (SECNAV) The Honorable Dr. Donald C. Winter looks at a swing set being repaired by Seabees assigned to Construction Battalion Maintenance Unit (CBMU) 202. The Seabees are working at a children's hospital in Puerto Barrios as part of a Partnership for the Americas mission to conduct training and humanitarian assistance operations. CBMU-202 is deployed with the joint forces crew aboard Military Sealift Command (MSC) hospital ship USNS Comfort (T-AH 20). Comfort is on a humanitarian deployment to Latin America and the Caribbean region to provide medical treatment to approximately 85,000 patients in a dozen countries. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Mass Communication Specialist Shawn P. Eklund (RELEASED)

I wonder why I "remember" driving to Beaufort, SC, one time. I think it was Thanksgiving and Amanda didn't invite me along with her family and I found that depressing. I thought she took another guy up there, where ever it was they went, along with her. Her sister told me later she had not done that, in response to my questions to Amanda, but I didn't really believe her. I don't know why I was in Beaufort. I think I was just driving at that was where I stopped and got a hotel. I drank over a case of beer that night and then drove back to Charleston in my red Nissan the next day. A tremendously depressing artifical and symbolic-of-something-else "memory."

070625-N-3642E-179 PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. (June 25, 2007) - Secretary of the Navy (SECNAV) The Honorable Dr. Donald C. Winter and Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps Carlton W. Kent are briefed on the in-processing procedures. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Mass Communication Specialist Shawn P. Eklund (RELEASED)

That scene with Phoebe's character in the 1982 "Fast Times At Ridgemont high" at the pool where "Stacy" is asking about "Linda" and "Doug's" love life, suggests to me that indicates "Linda" doesn't know what she is talking about. I probably created Phoebe's character that way, assuming that is my artistic creation. She represents the girl who might talk about sex with her close friend, but she doesn't actually have any first-hand experience with sex. You just assume that she knows what she is talking about because she is so incredibly attractive. I think that after "Stacy" had sex, she became skeptical what "Linda" had been telling her and that is why she questions her about why she had the details wrong about how long "Doug" "takes."

And that was about Phoebe and me. It was about our arranged marriage. The lines reflect how I was anticipating her to become old enough so we could start a romantic relationship. I incorporated elements of that anticipation into her character, combined with our actual romantic relationship in 1981 and 1982. I might have heard about Phoebe talking to her friends in the same manner, when she and I were still just friends, in that she was waiting to get old enough because I was going to be her love interest.

Something about these feelings of pain are because I can't consciously remember details about Phoebe's personality. She is the actress I have never met, as I wrote about the dream where I woke up with feelings of great affection for Phoebe Bailey. It is Phoebe Cates I have deep affection for but yet, I have never met her. At least, not in the context of my artificial memories, with are still dominant in my mind. I have got to remember something specific about Phoebe Cates. There has got to be something specific in my mind I can connect to her, other than all this stuff I feel but do not actually know. There has got to be something. Something that connects us. The notion of Phoebe Bailey is very good, as well as Tracie's birthday, plus UFP, but there must be something else. There was also that girl I liked that grandma Betty said she approved of which is most certainly Phoebe, my wife. There must be something else. She is also that nice girl I remember as Jimmi Anne Armstrong, who was the daughter of the town doctor, but there must be something else. I get to this point though and I try so hard to grasp that reality and I just pushing it farther away. I have to coax it out in my mind. I just have to let the feelings swarm around in my mind and watch for patterns and....something. If I try too hard, I just push it all back into the vault that is inside the vault I am inside.

Stacy Graham. I'll bet that was Phoebe too. First girl I kissed. I can still visualize it. We lived at the U.S. Marine family housing in McAlester, OK. She and the other girls were playing house and I was her husband. I've probably got elements of the Vietnam War mixed in with all those artificial memories, too. The time I can still visualize of her visiting our trailer in De Queen is probably about me thinking of her when I was a Prisoner of War. Maybe I am remembering a dream I had of her when I was being held by the Vietnamese. If that is a cage I remember, then it was quite depressing. I often heard rats crawling around in the walls. It smelled bad. There was dog crap all over the place. It was small and cramped. I was hiding in there from Thedia one time when she was trying to take me to the babysitter, last name Honea I think, because Thedia was going out on her first date with Randy Romine, the Vietnam veteran of the U.S. Army or Marines. That was when Thedia was driving a red Volkswagen and I believe the V.W. is symbolic of my participation in the Vietnam War. I also might have selected the name Stacy Graham because of the Sir Galahad has the same initials. Maybe I realized later that if I had died that day, my last thoughts would have been of Phoebe.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 26, 2006

The fox hunt organizers and the adult field judges were complimentary about my performance because I really got out there and scored the dogs. Micheal laughed during my first fox hunt when I asked if we used a shotgun or a rifle to shoot the fox. I can remember early on after I started judging, when I was still traveling with an adult, I hauled ass across this open field to get the number of a dog out by itself. We hadn't seen much that day and I wanted to score something. The dog came over to lick my hand and I disqualified it. Another time, we were around a campfire one cold night and I was lying on my back on the cold ground and he told me I was going to get sick. We always wore coveralls when we were out there. I have kept a set of those coveralls in all the years since. I think even in my Jeep until I lost it last year, I had a set of those coveralls. I can almost remember feeling naked without them. At one event, the shocks failed on my blue truck and someone commented later he thought I was going to bounce off the road because the chassis was shaking so much from any pothole I hit. Another time something went wrong with the brakes and they were screeching incredibly loudly. I can think of a lot of things like that happening. The frustration of waiting for the gas station to open up, my step-father telling me about how he had almost run out of gas in his truck.

There was that dialog with Donald Gene after I wrecked my Ford. I said: You all right? He said: Yeah, you all right? Yeah, I said. Let's get the hell out of here! I think his door opened but I had to crawl through the window because mine wouldn't open and gas was pouring out next to me.

There was something about a time in my '67 Ford with the muffler. Someone, Micheal I think, told me I could make it backfire if I turned off the ignition at some point. Why that was cool, I don't know, I guess it was a 16-year-old thing. I did it a few times and the muffler exploded. As I was writing this earlier, I found myself thinking about how curious it was that I chose the word "explosion" to describe that event. Micheal told me when I got home that my truck sounded like a log truck coming down the road.

Denzil commented on what a good shot I made on that 9-point deer I killed, I think that was 10th grade, which would have been around 1982 in my memory. I had actually missed it three times before I gave up on using the scope. Since I had raised sights on my rifle, I just switched to iron sights and nailed it. It probably went no more than a body length before it dropped. My mother was bragging to another mother whose son had shot a deer with fewer points. As I thought more about this event, I remembered some other details that leave me confused about what this event represents. One of the hunters that was out with us that day told me he had been scared because I had been yelling, screaming was the word that came to mind later, so loudly. As I remember it, it seems unusal that I was behaving like that, although it makes sense when I consider what a trophy, a glorious trophy, that deer was. Later today I was remembering my History teacher commenting on the bruises on my neck that one day, and then I started thinking about a photo of that deer hanging from a tree, soon to be skinned, with me next to it. That was off Highway 108 if I'm not mistaken, in front of Ambrus Chauncey's house.

Some time soon after mom and Denzil got married, Denzil was teaching me to drive his gray Ford pickup, which was actually a company truck. I had some problems driving it, but my red Ford was much easier for me to operate. My mother commented on how well I operated the clutch, compared to problems I had in Denzil's truck. And thinking about it more reminds me of how much I did enjoy driving my Ford. I'm not sure if I touch on this later in my notes, but I think it is obvious that Ford's are representive of Fighter's. My second truck was a Chevrolet, but I think it still represents a fighter aircraft. I have this feeling it was an F-14 and my first one was an F-16. The -14 is dual-exhaust and the -16 is single-engine. When I first got my '67 Ford, I remember it staying in the shop for a frustrating long time because it had a pre-existing problem with the steering column and Denzil wouldn't let me drive it until it was fixed.

We always went to this truck stop diner in Ashdown called Macs before we went hunting. The place was a dive but the food was good.

Could Ashdown symbolize Academy? I was thinking earlier today about the way the name Amanda sounds kind of like Annapolis. There is also that history I discovered about the name Burgess and how the first Burgess in that line was a governor of Maryland and from what I remember established a place called Londontown, which I later read has something to do with Annapolis. That would be consistent with my memory of living on Wexford in Taylors.

I was thinking there is probably some symbolism to my memories of playing sports in school. I also get the impressive I must have excelled at varsity sports. My first year of school football was the 7th grade and I was a guard, left I think but not sure, and number 62. The next year, I was 72 and a tackle, on the same side as when a guard. The next year, we moved to Ashdown and I was on special teams as well as Tight End and then Defensive End, number 46. The next year I was on the baseball team. The next year was junior year I think but I didn't do anything. The senior year, I had to take PE and we had a mixture of basketball, tennis, and some others.

I'm pretty sure I was 14 when we moved to Ashdown, which may correlate with F-14. At 16, I got the red Ford. I was probably 17 when I got the Chevrolet, but it features more prominently in my mind when I was 18. I had turned 18 early into my senior year, something to do with me being one day too young to start with the previous class.

I remember one time, with my red Ford, driving to the junior prom. I had a problem with the shifting rods that I never got fixed. It was a 3-speed manual with the shifter on the column. Sometimes the shifting rod linkage under the hood got stuck and I couldn't shift gears. This one day, I was standing there in the middle of town at a busy intersection in my white tux with the hood up to get the linkage unstuck. It wasn't so much embarassing as just annoying.

Earlier this morning, I started remembering something from long, long ago. I had completely forget about this. For some reason, remembering this memory makes me think of two things. One thing it does is to remind me that I did have an iterest in flying as a kid. For some reason, if someone would have asked me if I had been interested in flying when I was younger, I would have responded that I never had an interest in flying. And the memory was about the Canadian Air Force. For some reason, I wanted to fly for the Royal Canadian Air Force. I have no idea what that means. There was this one jet I liked, but I can't remember which model it is. I have this memory too about the Saudi's flying it as their main fighter. Now I'm thinking it wasn't Canada, it was Saudi Arabia, as in I was associated with them somehow that I can't remember now. I also remembered that Sabre driver from Korea that was something like a hero to my when I was very young. They called him Mac I think, McDonnell or McConnell, would have to look it up. I think he was a triple-Ace from Korea.

I made some notes again about that one bad fight I remember from long ago. I have been trying to keep these thoughts in sequence I made the note, but this is kind of jumbled up as more and more details have been coming back to me today. The key part to note is the detail that came to me last, at about 2 pm today. The fight was a result of me getting shot down by a chick in a bar. It ended with me standing toe to toe with this one guy. I hit him square on the jaw and left him with a noticeable bruise and I knew he remembered it for a few days at least. But then he proceeded to beat the living crap out of me. I noticed in the mirror today that I still have some kind of scar, lumpy mass, whatever, under my right eye from that. I think that is from where I was kicked in the face after I was down on the ground. I remember now telling Liz, that chick that reminds me of Picards wife from that lost world, and she told me it was barely noticeable.

Later, I was remembering how my parking spot next to our house on Hicks Road could easily symbolize being lauched off a carrier. It was dangerous because I couldn't see if there was another car coming as I powered my way up and out onto the road and some of those other people really flew down that road. I pulled out at an angle to the road, although some times I went straight up and out, depending on the direction I was heading.

The guy I remember riding with me when I crashed my red Ford was named Donald Gene. The Radar Operator from the Wainwright also had the initials D.G., as in David Gugel.

I wrote in my notes at this point, wondering what the code "winchester" meant in the Navy.

Donald Gene's father was named Ambrus Chauncey, or A.C. AC is the Navy rating designation for an Air Controlman, as I just looked up. That rating is also listed as Air Traffic Controller.

Before I got my red Ford and while we were living on Hicks Road, I got in trouble for driving my mother's Bonneville (also a 1978) too fast. That was a car that Randy Romine bought brand new for her when they were married. This car had some kind of alarm built into the dashboard. It you went above a certain speed, I believe it was over 80, the alarm would go off. I'm thinking I did that several times when driving my sister and Michael to church. In other words, I wanted to speed so they buzzer would go off. I suspect this is related to that catchphrase from Top Gun about the need for speed.

There is that song, by America?, about going through the desert on a horse with no name. That song features prominently in my memory from the time after I returned from the Persian Gulf, which was in 1988 according to my memory, but is probably some other time.

Today some station showed a clip from the first Terminator movie and it reminded me that Arnold S. in that movie resembles Mogge when he was younger.

That bad fight I remember occurred when we were away from our home port when I was on the Taylor. Oh yeah, I thought later that Taylor has a big number 50, or five-oh, on its hull. Anyway, I think this fight occurred in Fort Lauderdale. There had been some other fighting going on. Apparently a gang was luring sailors into fights and this one guy, I didn't know him well, but he was on my ship, had his face slashed with a knife after talking to a girl.

Could the U.S. Air plane crash I remember from Charlotte represent Micheal's crash? There are some common elements in my memory. One was the path of destruction, the trees that were knocked down or damaged. There was the sudden, heavy, violent thunderstorm that kicked up right before the crash. With the Charlotte crash, I wasn't that far away at a bar where, if I had been standing at the door way could have seen that plane coming in, and it also went right over my apartment at Whitehall. I could remember the precise time of the crash and what I was doing at the time.

All of this, All of this, it is my reality, I am absolutely convinced I was once, among other things, an aviator in the Navy. I just can't remember it. But I know these details I remember represents that time.

One day, I "launched" my '67 blue Chev. out onto Hicks Road. Earlier, I had been doing something with the front wheels and apparently, I forgot to tighten the lug nuts. I got about a half mile down the road and the front end started shaking violently. Just as I was about to cross over this small wooden bridge, I saw the left front wheel shot up and away down to the edge of the creek I was about to pass over. The truck dropped over to the left a little bit and I managed to keep it from running off the bridge where I stopped on the other side. I left a groove in the road from that incident.

That happened again sometime later on the way to school. Micheal had told me something looked wrong with the left wheel but I drove anyway. Shortly after that, I saw that familar sight of the wheel shooting up and away to the left as the front end slammed into the pavement. This time the spindle had broken off because it hadn't been greased. Mt future-brother-in-law went out into the field and got the wheel for me. Then a schoolbus came by. My buddy who was later an Air Force mechanic, gave me a ride to school in his midget car. Not sure what kind of car that was. Denzil was at home on vacation that day and he sent out a tow truck to get my truck.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Extended Range

The Standard Missile is a type of surface-to-air missile (SAM) originally developed for the United States Navy (USN). The SM-1 was developed as a replacement for the RIM-2 Terrier and RIM-24 Tartar systems deployed in the 1950s on a variety of USN ships. The RIM-66A/B Standard MR, (SM-1MR Block I to V) was used during the Vietnam War. It used the same fuselage as the earlier Tartar, for easier use with existing launchers and magazines. The RIM-66C/D Standard MR (SM-2MR Block I), was developed in the 1970s and was a key part of the Aegis combat system and New Threat Upgrade (NTU). In the early 1980s, the missile was deployed via Vertical Launching System (VLS) aboard the USS Bunker Hill, the first U.S. Navy ship to deploy a vertical launcher. VLS is now the predominant launcher used with the Standard missile in the U.S. Navy aboard Ticonderoga-class cruisers and Arleigh Burke-class destroyers. The standard missile was designed and integrated by the Standard Missile Company (SMCo), jointly owned by Hughes Missile Systems Company and Raytheon Company. SMCo is the prime contractor for Standard Missile.[1] The SM-1 and SM-2 were continuously upgraded through Blocks (see below).

RIM-67 SM-2 Extended Range

The RIM-67 SM-2ER was the Navy's replacement for RIM-2 Terrier missile. Ships carrying the SM-2 ER were often still called Terrier ships even after the SM-2ER.

The Convair RIM-2 Terrier was a two-stage medium-range naval surface-to-air missile (SAM), and was among the earliest surface-to-air missiles to equip United States Navy ships. Originally, the Terrier had a launch thrust of 23 kN (5,200 lbf), and weight of 1392 kg (3,069 lb). Its original dimensions were a diameter of 340 mm, a length of 8.08 m, and a fin span of 1.59 m.

Terrier has also been used as a sounding rocket, typically as a first stage, for conducting research. The Terrier can be equipped with various upper stages, like the Asp, the Tomahawk or the Orion.


JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Sleep journal 5/4/06

After my short nap yesterday late evening, when back to sleep after midnight and slept pretty soundly until after 7. Had a dream that seemed to occur just before I woke up. I was inside some kind of missile. Seems like it was an SM2-ER on the Wainwright's launcher and it was going to send me into orbit or outer space maybe. When I woke up, I heard lyrics from that song:

Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Re: Journal May 27, 2006

Ah...."bat lady," of course. I found something like a bat-shaped fishing lure that I really liked when I was a kid, but one of the older neighborhood kids said it was his and took it from me.

Andrew. That was Mogge's middle name.

I was thinking about these times when the hood flew up on my red Ford as I was traveling down Hicks Road. It was lucky we didn't crash.

The woman holding the torch during the intro for Columbia pictures looks a lot like a girlfriend I used to have.

1980. That was the year we moved from DeQueen to Ashdown. I think it was '81 when we moved onto Hicks Road. I started school at Ashdown Jr. High in '80. We had our 10 year reunion in '94 at the junior high school. I was teaching myself how to read Russian that year. Received a Science award. Started shaving. 14 years old when we moved there. Michael and I constructed a tall television antenna to get better reception. We put an American flag at the top. As we were admiring our work, Michael commented something similar to: "we sure are some patriotic s.o.b.'s aren't we?" Mom made us take it down, might have been the landlord, and she told us we were supposed to take it down every night. The school bus stop was a long ways from the house and our landlord, who was next door where we lived in one of the two houses on their farm, let me drive one of their cars to take my siblings and their kids to the bus stop. One day, I parked the car at their house but left it in neutral without the parking brake engaged. As I was walking away, the landlady yelled out that the car was rolling away down the hill. I dropped my books, swiveled around and sprinted for the car. I got the door open, jumped in and got it stopped right before it went into the pond. I think my mom chastised me for that, but I didn't know if it was for not setting the brake or for jumping in the car as it was about to go into the pond. Started going out into the woods a lot there in that place. All I had at first to carry with me was a BB gun. I very much enjoyed just getting out there and exploring. I never got lost despite how much terrority I covered, which was a lot. People at school were really getting annoyed at hearing me reciting Poe's The Raven, as I was trying to memorize it for some reason, in my memory it wasn't a class assignment. Denzil and mom gave me a 20 gauge shotgun for my birthday that year. I think Denzil traded a guitar for it. They left the gun and a camo hunting vest on my bed. The gun had a problem though but they tried telling me I was operating it wrong. They said I was "shortchanging" the action, but that wasn't it because I did what they said and it still wouldn't work. Finally, the guy Denzil got it from disassembled it one day and apparantly found the problem because I don't remember any other problems with it. Eventually I traded it to Michael for a knock-off Franchi semi-auto 12 gauge he had. That was a mistake because it was a piece of crap and would always jam after the first round. I bought a 35-caliber lever action rifle that I used for deer hunting that I absolutely loved. For some reason, I would proud that it wasn't a 30-30, but why I was proud of that is a mystery to me. There was a guy named Dino who was the star of our 9th grade football team. I remember him because I ran into his sister some years later. It was weird because she was working at that same bank in South Carolina. Small world. I remember getting dragged through a swamp during junior high as part of an initiation into Future Farmers of America. Made a chess board in shop class. It snowed on Thanksgiving day of 1980. Went to Camp Couchdale in the summer of '81, after graduating 9th grade. Tried to organize a panty raid on the girls buildings on the other side of the compound, but the staff was obviously listening and showed up at the screen door of our building with a big dog. Tried to start a food fight in the cafeteria but no one else got into it. Met a girl named Phoebe, took her out on the lake in a boat and paddled around. We wrote letters for a long time afterwards.

After we moved to Hicks Road, Michael and I shared a room with bunk beds. I was thinking yesterday about how similar it was to an officers stateroom on a Navy ship.

I always hated preparing the hunting dogs for the fox hunt competitions, as it was very boring. We bleached or painted numbers onto the sides of the dogs and we had to keep them from lying down until the process finished so they wouldn't smear the numbers. There may be some symbolism here in this memory about keeping the dogs "on their toes."

I was selected for TARGETS class in the 10th and then again in the 11th. I think the acronym was something like "towards a real goal of excellence for talented and gifted students."

I don't think I got my red Ford until the end of 10th grade, but not really sure. That sounds right the more I think about though.

The last time I saw my father was in 1981. We went up to the plains of North Oklahoma to stay with him one summer. He was working as the manager of a cattle ranch during that time, although in memory that was the only job he had as other than a truck driver. I brought my 20 gauge with me and bagged a lot of those big jackrabbits. I remember zipping around the fields in my brothers go cart. One day it was very windy and we stood there and watched a plane almost crash into a field very close by. Went exploring this really big ravine that started near my dad's house. I think of that ravine when I see those kids playing war at the beginning of the movie Born on the fourth of July.

When I was leaving for the Navy, Denzil told me I was going to be an Ensign. I corrected him that the lowest enlisted rank was Seaman Recruit, although after boot camp, I would be automatically promoted to E-3, Seaman, because I was in the Advanced Electronics Field. And actually, I think I was being paid as an E-3 even in boot camp, they just called everyone a Recruit in boot camp.

I was talking to Mogge a few years ago when I was working here at Microsoft and he was working at our Charlotte office. We were talking about our time on the Wainwright. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of another guy there in the office had been part of that Blackhawk Down event, as known from the movie of that name. I didn't really believe him for some reason. I mentioned at one point about the letter of commendation for the Wainwright CO and he said something that made me doubt my perception that everyone in Missile Plot had got a similar letter. He told me he still had his, it was there somewhere in his desk drawer, but then he started reciting from the Joint Unit Meritorious award which was given to all of us in the unit. I thought something was odd about that and decided that maybe I was the only one that had gotten an individual award.

There was some other stuff, adventures, that Micheal and I got into but too tired to write about it now. He did have that shotgun explode one time when he was out duck hunting, that was pretty scary.

I wonder if the bicycle I remember riding after I crashed my red Ford is supposed to represent a propeller driven aircraft?

There was the American Legion award I got, it was an actual medal, not unlike a real military medal, when I was in the 11th grade.

Ah, and how could I forget working for Donald Mills at his store and then for him when he was mayor of Wilton. At one point, I was the supervisor of a group of kids as we were fixing potholes on the Wilton town roads.

Phoebe told me to "never forget" that dance where we met, because she never would.

They lined up all the girls at the start of the dance and told me to pick who I wanted to dance with. I still remember thinking about how she just seemed the right choice. She was laughing, kind of delighted, kind of frightened, that one day in the boat on the lake when I saw a snake in the water and started chasing it for some reason.

Something I read in a newspaper archive reminded me again about a girlfriend in high school with the initials R.R., but she went by the name "Becky." She gave me some photos of her and the memory flooded back about the captions she put on the photos. One was "here ya go, something to remember me by." Another was "here I am, doing what I do best." I remember Denzil seriously chewing me out one night after Becky and I had been out on a date. I was supposed to pick up Michael and Donald Gene and take them out to the woods where we were fox hunting that night. But Becky and I had been making out in my truck in front of her house and I stayed there longer than I expected. Something in my memory that seems important, I left the engine running of my Chevrolet pickup when we were making out and there seems to be something important about the smoke from the exhaust. After I left, I knew I was late, so I decided to just skip stopping by the house on Hicks Road and head straight out to the woods, thinking D.G. and Micheal would have just given up on waiting for me and headed out there on their own. For some reason, that seems important. It seems important that they did wait at the house for me. As I was traveling down this familiar stretch of open road that I liked driving down, I saw headlights approahing and for some reason I can't explain, I knew it was Denzil. I pulled over and he turned around and came back. He was chewing me out, but I was feeling quite proud of myself, so I didn't understand why he was hassling me. I remember at one point declaring "No, Sir!" I can't remember for sure, but I think I went back to the house and picked up the other two guys and we went on with the hunt. I seem to recall they were kidding me the rest of the night for "smooching" with Becky.

oh shit! Michael Dean Draper........M.D.D. ...... McDonnell Douglas

That day I remember getting into the middle of a swamp with snakes dropping out of trees all around me must be from some battle. They were everywhere. I had seen plenty of snakes in my day, usally lying right in front of my path, but this one day was just insane. This one place I used to go squirrel, down in this heavily wooded creek in a valley was just crazy with snakes, but the squirrel hunting was the best around. I figured that was probably why the hunting was so good, because no one wanted to get in there with the snakes. Anyway, there at the end of that really bad day, I had to cross over this submerged wooden bridge. I couldn't even see the bridge because the water was so dark. I could just see myself dropping through the bridge into the water below, where it was writhing with snakes. The snakes represent either, or both, AAA flak or missiles. Marginally, there is some symbolism with Sidewinders, but these were cottonmouths. Maybe that is the distinction, they were just as deadly as Sidewinders, but were a different type.

There was good hunting in the front yard, they were red squirrels and I enjoyed those the most, but there wasn't many of them and that section of woods wasn't very expansive. In the back yard, with the creek and valley, there was a lot of room to explore, but there was only gray squirrels back there.

It was in the woods in front of the house that I figured out that if I swept away the leaves from a small area where my feet which be, I wouldn't have to wait as long for the red squirrels to start moving again. Before that, they always heard my feet rustling the leaves and wouldn't move. Sometimes I would see a squirrel, gray I think, hopping around the tree in our front yard, but they usually stayed away.

We used to go to Sonic every day for lunch when I was in high school.

That memory of kissing Becky in my truck. There was one maybe two smoke trails rising up behind the truck and I was annoyed seeing the smoke. I can still see that in my mind, but I can almost see something else too, I can almost see the reality. They replaced my memories of reality with other images with the same symmetry.