JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 29, 2006
Imprisonment continues.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 29 July 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 29, 2006
Maybe Linsey Dawn McKenzie is Rachel Barnett in my memory. I met Rachel at the bank when she was 19 and we started going out. Rachel was dating a cyclist who managed a restraunt or something when we met. I remember one night, shortly after we started seeing each other, I wanted to see her but she was actually living with that guy. I went over to his house and knocked on the door, but she wasn't home. Another time she told me to come in to the bar where she was waiting tables.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 29 July 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 7, 2006
I'm thinking again about that time Rachel Barnet wanting to watch that Swayze movie "Ghost" on video at my apartment on Wexler in Taylors. She didn't believe that I had not already seen it when I figured out who was the bad guy.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 7 August 2006 excerpt ends]
http://www.divxmoviesenglishsubtitles.com/F/Friends_-_5x16_-_The_One_With_the_Cop.html
Friends - 5x16 - The One With the Cop
You know, honey...
...as flattered as I am...
...that you saw me first...
...I just don't think we should be|cranking anything up.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: August 10, 2006
And so Rachel Barnett must represent Julia Roberts. I met Julia in 1987 after I returned to find that I was officially dead and buried in Arlington. According to the wiki article, Julia, maybe I called her Julie
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 10 August 2006 excerpt ends]
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 02/11/07 9:33 PM
For the past day, I have been having thoughts about my possible activities while on the surface of Callisto after I landed my Project Orion space craft on the surface. I have been matching my symbolic "memories" with those thoughts, but there is a distinction in that process that is important to note. It has only been after thoughts of Callisto appeared in my mind, that I recognized certain "memories" of Kerry Burgess as possibly being symbolic. For example, my "memories" of using an electric chainsaw one winter when it was very cold to cut up a lot of trees I had cut down. That was at my house in Country Club Estates. That thought process began with me thinking that I had an electric chainsaw, or some similar device, to cut out blocks of ice from Callisto to then take back to the space craft. But then I started wondering if something like that really happened as I couldn't see how I could have gotten the blocks out as I could have only cut the sides. I started thinking that maybe I used a crowbar, but that really seems impractical for someone in a space suit. Then I started thinking that I had some kind of device that chopped up the surface of the ice and then there was a vacuum that extracted that chopped ice and transported it into the ship. From there, the ice was melted, and as I assume it was water ice, I produced oxygen from it. A competing theory though, is that it wasn't water ice, but there was a thin atmosphere that contained oxygen and I was able to breathe the atmosphere, although it was incredibly cold. That may be the source of thoughts about my corneas freezing, but that could have happened on Earth, too. But yet, I think it was somewhere in my space travels, possibly Callisto, and that is why they had that plot element to the sequel of "Star Wars" where "Han Solo" can't see for a while after being thawed out from that stasis device he was trapped in.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 11 February 2007 excerpt ends]
http://www.online-literature.com/crane/redbadge/2
THE LITERATURE NETWORK
Literature Network » Stephen Crane » The Red Badge of Courage » Chapter 2
Chapter 2
The next morning the youth discovered that his tall comrade had been the fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was much scoffing at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views, and there was even a little sneering by men who had never believed the rumor. The tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him severely.
The youth felt, however, that his problem was in no wise lifted from him. There was, on the contrary, an irritating prolongation. The tale had created in him a great concern for himself. Now, with the newborn question in his mind, he was compelled to sink back into his old place as part of a blue demonstration.
For days he made ceaseless calculations, but they were all wondrously unsatisfactory. He found that he could establish nothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch his legs to discover their merits and faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze, blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and the other. So he fretted for an opportunity.
Meanwhile, he continually tried to measure himself by his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some assurance. This man's serene unconcern dealt him a measure of confidence, for he had known him since childhood, and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of anything that was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in reality, made to shine in war.
The youth would have liked to have discovered another who suspected himself. A sympathetic comparison of mental notes would have been a joy to him.
He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in any way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern, because he dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided.
In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could conceive of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of them had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these theories, and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering and quaking.
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were about to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by himself of many shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he considered the intolerable slowness of the generals. They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river bank, and leave him bowed down by the weight of a great problem. He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders reached an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a veteran.
JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/12/07 9:05 AM
I assume that my relationship with my wife is summarized in the artificial memories of my relationship with Rachel Barnett. I was crazy about her but she didn't know that and I have artificial memories of regrets that I didn't explain well enough my feelings for her. And then I couldn't find her again to tell her how I really felt for her.
[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 12 May 2007 excerpt ends]
