"Fort Apache"

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: posted by H.V.O.M at 6:54 PM Saturday, September 03, 2005


Miles to go before I sleep

My trip to Gas Works Park wasn’t the first time I made a date with a bridge. To date it has been the last. I have become quite the expert on west coast bridges thanks to the internet. When I first made the decision to end my suffering, I didn’t yet know how I would do it. I had several ideas. One was just to cut my wrists. Another was carbon monoxide poisoning. I don’t have any guns so that was out, although it was the method I would be most confident about being fatal. There were some days early this year when I would have certainly used a gun on myself, it was just that painful to me feeling like I had no privacy. One of the first days when it was really excrutiating to me, this feeling that I had no privacy, I started writing about it in my journal. I was losing it. After a while I abruptly decided to just leave and go drive around for a while. As soon as I walked out of my apartment, a van with markings on it indicating it was from some mental health hospital turned the corner and drove right by me. You just can't tell me that was a coincidence. I had been seeing too many things like that happen, like the purple van. I don't know if some bonehead was try to "send me a message" like some moron that doesn't know how to talk, but all it did was reinforce the feelings that people were following and watching me. It also reinforced something else I had learned. Every time I caught them off-guard they screwed up just enough to give me some new clue. If not for that, I probably never would have noticed them. Eventually I became consumed with being unpredictable. But that also produced a lot of stress and anguish. All this anguish I was feeling was from the pressure of all these people watching me from the shadows. I have completely lost my private life. I feel like even my dreams are manipulated. I have seen too many examples to prove that loss of privacy.

So eventually I settled on jumping off a bridge. Something about drowning seemed like a fitting way to go out. I thought about just walking into Lake Coeur d’Alene and just hold myself under the water, but I decided against it. I had given that method of dying a lot of thought in the years following an incident where the Iranians nearly sunk us with an anti-ship missile in the Persian Gulf and from the months of wondering daily if we were going to silently run into an anti-ship mine just like our fellow ship experienced halfway through our deployment and from the distant thumping sound of countermeasures launching when an enemy fire control radar scanned us and from the unmistakeable machinery noises of the missiles going to the rails at any hour of the day or night while I lied there staring in the semi-dark at the ceiling of my coffin-like bunk six inches from my face wondering if the next sound I heard would be the sound of our missile igniting or whether it would be the sound of a bulkhead exploding from the impact of a missile on us or whether I would just hear nothing at all. The only bridge I knew about was the Golden Gate Bridge in S.F. I started researching it and found a lot of information about it and I was convinced the jump would be fatal, either from the direct impact or because it would knock me out long enough to drown.

So I left my apartment to drive down there and get it over with. But first I decided to stop out at my favorite little resort city of Coeur d’Alene because I have such good memories there of the Ironman triathlons I have been in. I was also going to stop about halfway out there in the middle of Washington state and look at some cliffs I had read about. Maybe those would work. I found some, but I wasn’t sure about it. I could just see myself jumping and then lying there in the sun for a few days with a broken back and vultures pecking at my eyes. Later I would reflect to myself that the problem with cliffs is you don’t know you are at one until you are looking over the edge.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 03 September 2005 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 04/09/07 8:27 PM
8.78 goddamned years of 100% deployment.

And what is going home....going home to what?

These psycho's are always going to be outside my windows.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 09 April 2007 excerpt ends]










http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F11.html


Bart Gets Famous


Original airdate in N.A.: 3-Feb-94


On "Late Night with Conan O'Brien", Bart tries to talk to the host.

Bart: You know, Conan, I have a lot to say. I'm not just a one-line wonder. Did you know that a section of rain forest the size of Kansas is burned every single --

Conan: Just do the line.

Bart: [glum] I didn't do it.

[Everyone laughs and cheers]

Conan: [laughs] Great material.










From 12/25/1951 ( premiere US film "The Wonder Kid" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 18414 days

18414 = 9207 + 9207

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 1/17/1991 ( the date of record of my United States Navy Medal of Honor as Kerry Wayne Burgess chief warrant officer United States Marine Corps circa 1991 ) is 9207 days



From 12/25/1951 ( premiere US film "The Wonder Kid" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 18414 days

18414 = 9207 + 9207

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 1/17/1991 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Persian Gulf War begins as scheduled severe criminal activity against the United States of America ) is 9207 days



From 3/27/1948 ( premiere US film "Fort Apache" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 19782 days

19782 = 9891 + 9891

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 12/1/1992 ( premiere US film "Blind Geronimo and His Brother" ) is 9891 days



From 12/20/1947 ( premiere US film "Miracle in a Cornfield" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 19880 days

19880 = 9940 + 9940

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 1/19/1993 ( in Asheville North Carolina as Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess I was seriously wounded by gunfire when I returned fatal gunfire to a fugitive from United States federal justice who was another criminal sent by Bill Gates-Nazi-Microsoft-George Bush the cowardly violent criminal in another attempt to kill me the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) is 9940 days



From 12/23/1954 ( premiere US film "20000 Leagues Under the Sea" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 17320 days

17320 = 8660 + 8660

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 7/19/1989 ( Bill Gates-Microsoft-George Bush kills 111 passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight 232 and destroys the United Airlines Flight 232 aircraft because I was a passenger of United Airlines Flight 232 as United States Navy Petty Officer Second Class Kerry Wayne Burgess and I was assigned to maintain custody of a non-violent offender military prisoner of the United States ) is 8660 days



From 12/27/1952 ( premiere US film "Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd" ) To 7/19/1989 ( Bill Gates-Microsoft-George Bush kills 111 passengers and crew of United Airlines Flight 232 and destroys the United Airlines Flight 232 aircraft because I was a passenger of United Airlines Flight 232 as United States Navy Petty Officer Second Class Kerry Wayne Burgess and I was assigned to maintain custody of a non-violent offender military prisoner of the United States ) is 13353 days

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 13353 days



From 7/10/1989 ( premiere US film "Licence to Kill" ) To 5/25/2002 ( RACKETEER INFLUENCED AND CORRUPT ORGANIZATIONS US Title 18 - the Sioux City Iowa airport ) is 4702 days

4702 = 2351 + 2351

From 11/2/1965 ( my birth date in Antlers Oklahoma USA and my birthdate as the known official Deputy United States Marshal Kerry Wayne Burgess and active duty United States Marine Corps officer ) To 4/10/1972 ( the beginning date of record of the 2nd United States Navy Medal of Honor for my biological brother Thomas Reagan circa 1972 the United States Navy Commander ) is 2351 days





http://www.au.af.mil/au/goe/eagle_bios/2008/day_2008.asp


Air University


On 25 May 2002, Sioux City airport honored Day by renaming their airport Colonel Bud Day Field.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sioux_Gateway_Airport


Sioux Gateway Airport

Sioux Gateway Airport (IATA: SUX, ICAO: KSUX, FAA LID: SUX), also known as Colonel Bud Day Field, is a joint civil-military public airport located 6 miles (10 km) south of Sioux City and just west of Sergeant Bluff, in Woodbury County, Iowa, United States.

On 25 May 2002, the airport was named "Colonel Bud Day Field" in honor of United States Air Force Colonel George Everette "Bud" Day, a Sioux City, Iowa native and is the only person ever awarded both the Medal of Honor and the Air Force Cross. In addition to commercial and general aviation service, the airport is home to the 185th Air Refueling Wing (185 ARW), an Air Mobility Command (AMC)-gained unit of the Iowa Air National Guard, flying the KC-135 Stratotanker.


Accidents

Main article: United Airlines Flight 232

On July 19, 1989, a United Airlines DC-10, on a flight from Denver to Philadelphia via Chicago, crashed at Sioux Gateway Airport while attempting an emergency landing. 112 passengers and 1 crew member were killed, while 184 passengers and 10 crew members survived. The accident was one of the most famous aviation disasters in American history, due to the skill of the crew in saving most of the occupants, and because the crash and rescue operation were captured on videotape by a news crew.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 12/25/06 2:59 PM
I have been plagued the past few hours with, even more than usual over the past few months, a strong sense of loneliness that I was dating Julia Roberts after I returned from Africa in 1987. I think I knew her from a group of friends before I left in late 1985 or 1986, but then we started dating after I returned. I might have been married to Mimi Rogers before I was a Libyan POW but we had been planning to get a divorce before I left. I am thinking that I remember many of the details about Julia, but they are represented by “memories” of other women. I was very much in love with her, and I think we were planning to get married, but then the Iranians hit the USS Roberts, and I broke up with her because I was worried about her safety. Probably the hardest decision I ever made in my life. I guess that is what these emotions mean. This sense of loss.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 25 December 2006 excerpt ends]










http://www.divxmoviesenglishsubtitles.com/T/Top_Gun.html


Top Gun


The F-14 is defensive.|He has a chance to bug out right here.
Better to retire and save your aircraft|than push a bad position.
Charlie, jump in here any time. You stay|in that diamond another three seconds, -
- the bogey's gonna blow you away.|You take a hard right, select zone five ...
You can extend an escape.|You made a bad choice.
- Charlie?|- Aircraft one performs a split S?
That's the last thing you should do.|The MiG's right on your tail.
Freeze there. The MiG has you in|his gunsight. What were you thinking?
You don't have time to think up there.|If you think, you're dead.
That's a big gamble|with a $30 million plane.
Unfortunately, it worked.|The MiG never got a clean shot.
Maverick makes an aggressive vertical|move and defeats him with a missile.
The encounter was a victory, but we|show it as an example of what not to do.
Next.
Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092099/quotes

IMDb


Top Gun (1986)

Quotes


Hollywood: Gutsiest move I ever saw, Mav.










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 05/05/09 2:52 PM


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Sidra_incident_%281989%29

Gulf of Sidra incident (1989)

The second Gulf of Sidra incident, January 4, 1989, occurred when two US F-14 Tomcats shot down two Libyan MiG-23 Flogger Es that appeared to be attempting to engage them, as had happened previously in the first Gulf of Sidra incident (1981).


At almost 12:01 the lead Tomcat RIO said that "Bogeys have jinked back at me again for the fifth time. They're on my nose now, inside of 20 miles", followed shortly by "Master arm on" as he ordered arming of the weapons.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 05 May 2009 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 6:33 PM
I have been thinking a lot about that scene recently in "Battlestar Galactica." I imagine or remember that I did something similar as I was about to land on an aircraft carrier. It was a highly crazy maneuver but I had a reason. I am thinking that I had just shot down two Libyan fighters and I did it for that reason. I wasn't showing off but I had a suspicion that at least one person on the carrier was reporting my movements and the Libyans, possibly even Soviet fighters, were sent up specifically to shoot me down. I got both of them though and I wanted to do something to cause some chatter. That was one reason. Another is that I was hoping to de-motivate them from attacking me again by showing them just how capable a pilot I was. Everything I read suggests that landing on an aircraft carrier is stressful enough on a good day. So I wanted to do something stunning that would show I was good enough to make such a maneuver even after the intense stress of that combat engagement where they sent up their best to get me. My thoughts are that just as I about to land on the carrier, I pulled what I think is called a barrel-roll. That's not the same as Claire describes as the over-turn performed by Raz over Osirak. Rather, it is similar to that scene recently when "Starbuck" rolled over the top of "Apollo's" ship. I did that and still made a perfect 3-wire landing on the deck. The Captain flipped out over that and my thoughts are conflicted over whether I explained why I did it. I might not have told him because I trusted no one. They were going to pull my wings but somehow I told President Reagan about it, or I didn't have to tell him anything and he had it figured out too and he did his part to keep me flying. So that one objective was to de-motivate them with that stunt. But another objective was to generate chatter that we could use to track down the people reporting my movements to the enemy.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 6:53 PM
There are people now though that I do trust.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 7:09 PM
I have had a lot of thoughts about something I might have been part of in Vietnam. A lot of thoughts I can't articulate. Something about refugees. Thoughts about flying air cover for refugees that were being transported out. I might have flown out some of those refugees too.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 7:19 PM
chatter chatter chatter chatter

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 7:24 PM
blah blah blah blah

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 03/14/07 7:30 PM
The CAG probably called me a maniac for pulling that stunt on approach to the carrier.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 14 March 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 06/10/09 9:39 PM
I could see very well in the dream that we were flying over some mountainous terrain and there was a Libyan military jet below me and to my right side. The dialog that I believe was from the RIO in the seat behind me was about that opposing fighter and the part that I remember the best is that he was saying the the pilot of that Libyan jet was wearing a mask. I could see the jet well enough to establish the make but I was far enough away that I could not see the pilot or even if he was wearing an oxygen mask. The first detail on that notion I remember either during the dream or after I have pondered over it is that my RIO was looking at him through binoculars. At some point afterwards the thought occurred to me that we had actually flown close enough to that Libyan aircraft that I could see visually unaided that he was wearing an oxygen mask. There was some other dialog from my RIO and I have pondered over whether he was also communicating with the Hawkeye or the carrier or both over the radio the details I was hearing from him. We were preparing to engage the Libyan fighter with the weapons on my aircraft and this part about the summary label for the project item reminds me of something my RIO was saying but I cannot remember precisely what he was saying. It was as though he was scheduling a task for our fire-control computer and I heard him define the text of the label for that task of firing at the opposing fighter. I feel certain that is not really how the fire-control system operates in an F-14 Tomcat but this was a notion similar to writing a message on the casing of a bomb just before it is dropped on a target.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 10 June 2009 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 01/30/07 3:15 PM
A few days ago, and then earlier today, I thought with certainty that the Libyans pretended they were going to hang me on at least one occasion and probably more than one time. I am quite certain they put the noose around my neck and had me perched precariously on a ledge but then let me down.

JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 01/30/07 3:18 PM
They told me I was all alone and I was going to die there, hanging from that rope.

I don't know why I don't have scars on my neck. Maybe they didn't strangle me with the rope or they had a cloth between the rope and my neck. Don't know.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 30 January 2007 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/15/2006 5:21 PM
There is that theory I have that there is a date encoded in my DD-214 where the school dates are listed. I think it is supposed to represent 12/23/91. I just noticed that Stockdale’s birthday is 12/23.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 15 November 2006 excerpt ends]





JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 11/16/2006 10:29 AM
I awoke last night with the certainty that my DD-214 does include a reference to Admiral Stockdale.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 16 November 2006 excerpt ends]










http://www.cswap.com/1991/Terminator_2:_Judgment_Day/cap/en/2_Parts/a/01_03

Terminator 2: Judgment Day


1:03:50
Can you see anything?

1:03:53
I see everything.










http://www.oocities.org/elzj78/bsgminiseries.html


BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Miniseries (2003)


Apollo: This seems familiar.

Starbuck: (getting up) Captain Adama, sir. Sorry I wasn't there to greet you with the rest of the squadron. Did they kiss your ass to your satisfaction?

Apollo: So, what's the charge this time?










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: 2006


http://navysite.de/cvn/nimitz-history.htm

On August 18 and 19, 1981 during its fourth deployment, NIMITZ and USS FORRESTAL conducted an open ocean missile exercise in the Gulf of Sidra near what Libyan leader Khadafi called the "Line of Death." On the morning of August 19, two NIMITZ aircraft from VF-41 were fired upon by Libyan pilots. The NIMITZ pilots returned fire and shot both Libyan aircraft from the sky. Newspapers across the country rallied around the incident against terrorist-backing Libya with front-page headlines reading "U.S. 2 - Libya 0."


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 2006 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: - posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 05:17 AM Pacific Time Seattle USA Friday 22 February 2013 - http://hvom.blogspot.com/2013/02/chain-reaction.html


Back in the year 2003 I wrote a letter on my computer at home and I printed it out on to paper and I put that letter in a stamped envelope for the postal service and I sent that letter through the United States Postal Service. I had the envelope of the letter addressed specifically to the Chief of Operations United States Navy and I referenced a special projects branch I had found on the internet.

I wrote about a computer program I created for the guided missile computer complex system that would transfer memory from one of the computers to the other when we were in the Persian Gulf in 1988. We had two identical systems in place. They were twins you could say. The transfer of code was problematic and the solution was not obvious.

I mailed the letter to the Chief of Operations United States Navy and told them I should have received the Silver Star.


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 22 February 2013 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: July 29, 2006


I'm wondering if this happened because I was there and the Libyans knew I was there. If that is true, they were trying to shoot me down because Reagan was leaving office later that month, sort of a going away present from Qhaddafi. I just wish I could remember so I would know what this means.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Sidra_incident_%281989%29

The second Gulf of Sidra incident, January 4, 1989, occurred when two US F-14 Tomcats shot down two Libyan MiG-23 Flogger Es that appeared to be attempting to engage them, as had happened previously in the first Gulf of Sidra incident (1981).


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 29 July 2006 excerpt ends]










JOURNAL ARCHIVE: Kerry Burgess

07/25/2006 12:51 PM

To Anne_Durbin


Subject Change request for appointment


Anne,

Sorry for the late notice but my schedule is shot


[JOURNAL ARCHIVE 25 July 2006 excerpt ends]










http://www.cswap.com/1993/Striking_Distance/cap/en/25fps/a/00_50

Striking Distance


:50:51
- He called me.
- He called you?

:50:56
- That's right.
- What did he say?

:51:01
- He didn't say anything.



- posted by H.V.O.M - Kerry Wayne Burgess 10:59 AM Pacific Time somewhere near Seattle Washington USA Thursday 13 March 2014